Wishing You a Scary Krampus – Unisex T-Shirt – Dark Christmas Horror

CHRISTMAS: APPROACHING.

SNOW: FALLING.

BELLS: RINGING.

CHIMNEY: QUIET.

SOMETHING OUTSIDE: NOT QUIET.

HORNS: DETECTED.

CHAINS: RATTLING.

FOOTSTEPS: GETTING CLOSER.

NAUGHTY LIST: LOCATED.

SANTA: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ONE.

WISHING YOU A SCARY KRAMPUS.

Not everyone wants their Christmas filled with smiling snowmen, cheerful elves, candy canes, and aggressively jolly reindeer.

Some of us prefer Christmas with…

HORNS.

CHAINS.

SHADOWS.

ANCIENT FOLKLORE.

And the unsettling realization that the thing approaching through the snow definitely isn’t Santa Claus.

The Wishing You a Scary Krampus Unisex T-Shirt drags the darker side of Christmas straight out of Alpine folklore and into your holiday wardrobe.

Featuring a sinister Krampus design paired with the perfectly ominous greeting “Wishing You a Scary Krampus,” this shirt is made for horror fans, gothic Christmas enthusiasts, folklore lovers, alternative holiday revelers, and anyone who thinks December could use considerably more darkness.

Soft, breathable comfort and an easygoing unisex fit make it ready for Christmas parties, horror movie marathons, Krampus celebrations, winter gatherings, alternative holiday events, or simply making the family Christmas photo significantly more threatening.

Forget merry and bright.

We’re going with:

DARK AND TERRIFYING.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Sinister Krampus Design – A frightening take on the legendary horned figure of Alpine Christmas folklore.
• Dark Christmas Humor – “Wishing You a Scary Krampus” gives the traditional holiday greeting a sinister horror twist.
• Made for Horror Fans – Perfect for people who prefer monsters, folklore, darkness, and dread with their Christmas decorations.
• Soft & Breathable – Comfortable enough for holiday parties, winter gatherings, horror marathons, and seasonal chaos.
• Easygoing Unisex Fit – A versatile choice for anyone looking to bring darker energy to December.
• Alternative Christmas Style – An ominous escape from cheerful snowmen, smiling elves, and relentlessly merry holiday graphics.
• Perfect for the Naughty List – A memorable gift for horror lovers, goths, folklore enthusiasts, Krampus fans, and people who proudly occupy the darker corner of Christmas.

The Shirt

Friend:

Is that Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

For Christmas?

You:

Especially for Christmas.

Friend:

That’s disturbing.

You:

Thank you.

The Three-Stage Reaction

STAGE ONE:

“Christmas shirt.”

STAGE TWO:

“Wait.”

STAGE THREE:

“IS THAT KRAMPUS?”

You:

Season’s greetings.

The Greeting

Friend:

Merry Christmas!

You:

Wishing you a Scary Krampus.

Friend:

That’s not how the greeting goes.

You:

It is now.

Friend:

Should I be concerned?

You:

Depends.

Friend:

On what?

You:

Were you good this year?

Friend:

…

You:

Exactly.

Christmas Eve

Snow:

Falling.

Fireplace:

Crackling.

Tree:

Glowing.

Family:

Relaxing.

Somewhere Outside:

CLANK.

Friend:

What was that?

You:

Probably nothing.

Outside:

CLANK.

CLANK.

Friend:

That’s definitely something.

You:

Maybe Santa?

Outside:

Chains rattle.

Friend:

SANTA DOESN’T HAVE CHAINS.

You:

Then we may have a situation.

The Window

Friend:

Did something move outside?

You:

Where?

Friend:

By the trees.

You:

I don’t see anything.

Friend:

There!

You:

…

Friend:

WHAT?

You:

How naughty were you this year?

Friend:

Why are you asking me that NOW?

The Footprints

Friend:

There are footprints outside.

You:

Probably deer.

Friend:

Those aren’t deer tracks.

You:

Maybe a large goat.

Friend:

WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?

You:

Fair point.

The Horns

Friend:

I saw horns.

You:

Antlers?

Friend:

HORNS.

You:

Oh.

Friend:

Why did you say “oh” like that?

You:

No reason.

Friend:

Your shirt has a horned Christmas demon on it.

You:

Coincidence.

Friend:

I don’t believe you.

The Chains

RATTLE.

Friend:

What was THAT?

You:

Chains.

Friend:

WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?

You:

I’ve read the folklore.

Friend:

AND THAT MAKES YOU CALMER?

You:

No.

But at least I understand the situation.

The Knock

KNOCK.

Friend:

Don’t answer it.

You:

Could be Santa.

Friend:

SANTA DOESN’T KNOCK.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

You:

Good point.

Friend:

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

The Door

You:

Who’s there?

Friend:

WHY WOULD YOU ASK?

Silence:

…

You:

See?

Nothing.

CHAIN RATTLES OUTSIDE.

Friend:

We’re moving.

You:

Tonight?

Friend:

IMMEDIATELY.

The Naughty List

Santa:

Checks list.

Santa:

Hmm.

Elf:

Problem?

Santa:

This one’s complicated.

Elf:

Coal?

Santa:

Beyond my department.

Elf:

Oh.

Santa:

Yep.

Elf:

Should I call—

Santa:

Already did.

Elf:

Krampus?

Santa:

Krampus.

The Other List

NICE LIST: SANTA.

NAUGHTY LIST: ALSO SANTA.

EXTREMELY NAUGHTY LIST:

…

Elf:

Where did that page go?

Santa:

Different department.

Elf:

That’s ominous.

Santa:

Very.

Naughty List Audit

GOOD DEEDS: SOME.

QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS: NUMEROUS.

COOKIES STOLEN FROM OFFICE BREAK ROOM: 7.

LAST SLICE OF PIZZA TAKEN WITHOUT ASKING: CONFIRMED.

SHOPPING CART ABANDONED IN PARKING LOT: POSSIBLE.

TEXTS LEFT ON READ: MANY.

NAUGHTY STATUS: UNDER REVIEW.

You:

This feels excessive.

Krampus:

Chains rattle.

You:

Understood.

The Appeal

You:

I’d like to appeal.

Santa:

Wrong department.

You:

Who handles appeals?

Santa:

Nobody.

You:

That seems unfair.

Santa:

Should’ve thought about that before December.

You:

Can I speak to Krampus?

Santa:

You really don’t want to.

Krampus:

Appears behind you.

You:

I have reconsidered.

The Christmas Party

Friend:

Festive shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Friend:

Wait.

Is that KRAMPUS?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Everyone else has Santa shirts.

You:

I noticed.

Friend:

You really went another direction.

You:

Somebody had to.

Traditional Christmas Party

Person One:

Snowman sweater.

Person Two:

Reindeer sweater.

Person Three:

Santa sweater.

You:

KRAMPUS.

Everyone:

…

You:

What?

Friend:

You have changed the atmosphere.

You:

You’re welcome.

The Family Gathering

Grandma:

What does your shirt say?

You:

Wishing You a Scary Krampus.

Grandma:

A what?

You:

Krampus.

Grandma:

Who’s that?

You:

How much time do we have?

Mom:

Don’t.

Grandma:

No, I want to know.

Mom:

You really don’t.

The Explanation

Grandma:

So he’s part of Christmas?

You:

Traditional folklore.

Grandma:

And he’s scary?

You:

Very.

Grandma:

And you put him on a Christmas shirt?

You:

Correct.

Grandma:

…

Grandma:

I like it.

Mom:

Of course you do.

The Family Photo

Photographer:

Everybody smile.

Family:

Smiles.

You:

Standing in Krampus shirt.

Photographer:

Interesting choice.

You:

Thank you.

Photographer:

Can you stand in the back?

You:

Why?

Photographer:

Atmosphere.

The Christmas Card

Friend:

Your family Christmas card is weird this year.

You:

Why?

Friend:

Everyone’s smiling.

You:

Okay.

Friend:

And you’re standing in the middle wearing Krampus.

You:

Balance.

Friend:

It looks like you’re threatening everyone.

You:

Seasonal contrast.

The Ugly Sweater Party

Friend:

That’s not an ugly sweater.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

It’s a Krampus T-shirt.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

Everyone else is wearing bells and tinsel.

You:

Their mistake.

Friend:

You look like you’re attending a completely different holiday.

You:

The older, darker version.

Holiday Cheer

Coworker:

Merry and bright!

You:

Dark and terrifying.

Coworker:

What?

You:

Nothing.

Coworker:

Your shirt concerns me.

You:

It’s festive.

Coworker:

We have different definitions of festive.

The Office Christmas Party

Boss:

Interesting shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Boss:

Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Boss:

Should I be worried?

You:

How have performance reviews been going?

Boss:

…

You:

Just asking.

Office Naughty List

STOLE SOMEONE’S YOGURT: UNKNOWN SUSPECT.

LEFT PRINTER EMPTY: MULTIPLE OFFENDERS.

DIDN’T REFILL COFFEE POT: UNFORGIVABLE.

SCHEDULED 8 A.M. MEETING: CONFIRMED.

Krampus:

Writes name.

Coworker:

Whose?

You:

You don’t want to know.

The 8 A.M. Meeting

Boss:

Let’s start with a quick icebreaker.

Everyone:

Groans.

Krampus:

Appears.

Boss:

Who are you?

You:

Consequences.

Everyone:

Honestly…

fair.

The Break Room

Coworker:

Who ate the last cookie?

Silence.

Coworker:

Seriously?

You:

Looks around.

Coworker:

Someone ate it.

Chains:

Rattle faintly.

Everyone:

…

You:

Confess now.

The Confession

Coworker:

IT WAS ME.

You:

That was fast.

Coworker:

I heard chains.

You:

Understandable.

The Christmas Cookie

Friend:

Want one?

You:

Sure.

Friend:

Take two.

You:

Generous.

Friend:

I’m trying to improve my naughty-list standing.

You:

Smart.

Friend:

Think it helps?

You:

Couldn’t hurt.

Krampus:

Watching from hallway.

Friend:

WHY IS HE HERE?

The Shopping Mall

Santa:

Taking photos.

Children:

Excited.

Parents:

Waiting.

You:

Wearing Krampus shirt.

Santa:

Sees you.

Santa:

…

You:

…

Santa:

Busy season?

You:

Apparently.

Santa:

Tell him I said hello.

You:

You two know each other?

Santa:

It’s complicated.

Santa’s Coworker

Friend:

So Krampus is basically Santa’s terrifying coworker?

You:

That’s a dramatic oversimplification.

Friend:

But am I wrong?

You:

…

Friend:

Exactly.

North Pole HR

Elf:

We received another complaint.

Santa:

About Krampus?

Elf:

Obviously.

Santa:

Send it to HR.

Elf:

He IS HR.

Santa:

Right.

Elf:

We’re doomed.

The Performance Review

Santa:

Let’s discuss your methods.

Krampus:

Chains rattle.

Santa:

They’re a little intense.

Krampus:

Stares.

Santa:

But effective.

Krampus:

Stares.

Santa:

Excellent work.

The Sleigh

Friend:

Does Krampus have a sleigh?

You:

Traditional depictions vary.

Friend:

I was hoping for a simple answer.

You:

Wrong folklore.

Friend:

Does he at least have reindeer?

You:

Not exactly.

Friend:

I don’t like where this is going.

The Reindeer

Rudolph:

Did you hear that?

Dasher:

What?

RATTLE.

Rudolph:

That.

Dasher:

Probably Santa.

Rudolph:

Santa doesn’t rattle.

Reindeer:

…

Dasher:

Everybody inside.

The Stable

Elf:

Why are all the reindeer hiding?

Santa:

They heard chains.

Elf:

Oh.

Santa:

Yep.

Elf:

Should we lock the door?

Santa:

Wouldn’t hurt.

The Chimney

Friend:

Santa comes down the chimney.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

Krampus?

You:

Let’s not investigate.

Friend:

Good idea.

Fireplace:

Crackles.

Both:

Stare at chimney.

Friend:

You made Christmas stressful.

You:

The shirt started it.

Christmas Eve Security

DOORS: LOCKED.

WINDOWS: LOCKED.

CHIMNEY: PROBLEMATIC.

MILK: OUT.

COOKIES: OUT.

SANTA: WELCOME.

OTHER VISITORS: NOT WELCOME.

CHAIN NOISE OUTSIDE: INCREASING.

Friend:

Can we cancel Christmas?

You:

Too late.

The Bells

JINGLE.

Friend:

Santa?

You:

Maybe.

JINGLE.

Friend:

That sounds normal.

RATTLE.

Friend:

THAT DOES NOT.

You:

Run?

Friend:

RUN.

The Winter Forest

Snow:

Falling.

Trees:

Silent.

Wind:

Howling.

Somewhere Deep in Forest:

Bell rings.

Hiker:

Hello?

Silence.

Hiker:

…

Chains:

Rattle.

Hiker:

Nope.

Hiker:

Turns around immediately.

Winter Hiking Status

TRAIL: BEAUTIFUL.

SNOW: PEACEFUL.

FOREST: QUIET.

TOO QUIET: YES.

HORNED SILHOUETTE: POSSIBLY DETECTED.

HIKE: OVER.

The Cabin

Friend:

Perfect Christmas cabin.

You:

Fireplace.

Friend:

Snow.

You:

Mountains.

Friend:

No neighbors.

You:

…

Friend:

What?

You:

No neighbors.

Friend:

Yeah?

You:

That’s how horror movies start.

Friend:

Don’t.

The Cabin at Midnight

CREAK.

Friend:

Old house.

THUMP.

Friend:

Snow falling off roof.

RATTLE.

Friend:

…

You:

Chains?

Friend:

DON’T SAY IT.

The Porch

Friend:

Something’s on the porch.

You:

Don’t look.

Friend:

I’m looking.

You:

Why?

Friend:

I need to know.

You:

This is exactly how horror movies work.

Friend:

I SEE HORNS.

You:

Close curtain.

Friend:

I’M TRYING.

Horror Fan

Friend:

I love horror.

You:

Same.

Friend:

Slashers?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Ghosts?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Demons?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Christmas folklore monsters?

You:

Points at shirt.

Friend:

Right.

Horror Christmas

HALLOWEEN: MONSTERS.

CHRISTMAS: ALSO MONSTERS.

Friend:

You really found a loophole.

You:

Horror season never ends.

Friend:

Respect.

Gothic Christmas

Friend:

Black ornaments?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Dark garland?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Skulls?

You:

Maybe.

Friend:

Krampus?

You:

Obviously.

Friend:

This doesn’t look like my grandma’s Christmas.

You:

That’s the point.

The Christmas Tree

Friend:

What’s hanging on your tree?

You:

Ornaments.

Friend:

That one has horns.

You:

Krampus.

Friend:

And that one?

You:

Also Krampus.

Friend:

How many Krampus ornaments do you own?

You:

We’re not doing an inventory.

Alternative Holiday Decorating

RED: DARKER.

GREEN: OPTIONAL.

BLACK: ENCOURAGED.

CANDLES: NUMEROUS.

KRAMPUS: PRESENT.

CHRISTMAS CHEER: SLIGHTLY THREATENING.

The Horror Movie Marathon

Friend:

Christmas movie?

You:

Sure.

Friend:

Which one?

You:

Something terrifying.

Friend:

That’s not a Christmas movie.

You:

It takes place at Christmas.

Friend:

You use that argument every year.

You:

And every year it works.

The Movie Selection

Friend:

Something cheerful?

You:

No.

Friend:

Romantic?

You:

No.

Friend:

Family-friendly?

You:

Definitely not.

Friend:

Krampus?

You:

Now we’re talking.

The Lights Go Out

Movie:

Paused.

House:

Dark.

Friend:

Power outage?

You:

Probably.

Outside:

Chains rattle.

Friend:

NOPE.

You:

Could still be coincidence.

Friend:

YOUR SHIRT IS GLOWING IN THE TV LIGHT AND MAKING THIS WORSE.

The Generator

Friend:

I’ll check outside.

You:

Absolutely not.

Friend:

We need power.

You:

Have you never watched a horror movie?

Friend:

Good point.

Both:

Remain inside.

Survival achieved.

The Naughty Friend

Friend:

Think I’m on the naughty list?

You:

Definitely.

Friend:

How do you know?

You:

I’ve met you.

Friend:

Fair.

You:

I’d start making amends.

Friend:

How long do I have?

Chains:

Rattle.

You:

Less time than expected.

The Good Friend

Friend:

I’ve been good all year.

You:

All year?

Friend:

Mostly.

You:

Define mostly.

Friend:

Let’s not.

You:

Krampus may ask follow-up questions.

Friend:

I hate this shirt.

You:

It’s doing its job.

The Naughty List Interview

Krampus:

…

You:

Do I need a lawyer?

Krampus:

…

You:

I’ll take that as yes.

Krampus:

Chains rattle.

You:

Can the lawyer be here quickly?

The Technicality

You:

Technically, I was good.

Friend:

You weren’t.

You:

Good-ish.

Friend:

Still no.

You:

Good adjacent?

Friend:

That’s not a thing.

Chains:

Rattle.

You:

Apparently Krampus agrees.

The Plea Bargain

You:

What if I return my shopping cart every time next year?

Krampus:

…

You:

And refill the coffee pot?

Krampus:

…

You:

And stop taking the last slice without asking?

Krampus:

…

You:

We’re negotiating.

Friend:

He’s just staring at you.

You:

It’s progress.

The Last Slice

Friend:

Who ate it?

You:

What?

Friend:

Last slice of pizza.

You:

No idea.

Friend:

You have sauce on your shirt.

You:

Circumstantial evidence.

Chains:

Rattle.

You:

Okay, it was me.

The Shopping Cart

Friend:

You’re leaving the cart there?

You:

It’s close enough.

Friend:

Krampus.

You:

…

Friend:

Krampus.

You:

Fine.

Friend:

Good choice.

You:

I hate accountability.

The Coffee Pot

You:

Takes last cup.

You:

Walks away.

Coworker:

Aren’t you making another pot?

You:

…

Coworker:

Krampus.

You:

STOP USING HIM FOR EVERYTHING.

Coworker:

Make the coffee.

You:

Fine.

Krampus-Based Ethics

RETURN SHOPPING CART: YES.

REFILL COFFEE POT: YES.

DON’T TAKE LAST COOKIE: YES.

ANSWER TEXTS: MAYBE.

DON’T STEAL PARKING SPOTS: YES.

REASON: BASIC DECENCY.

SECONDARY REASON: HORNS AND CHAINS.

Christmas Shopping

Friend:

What do you want?

You:

Nothing cheerful.

Friend:

That’s vague.

You:

Horror.

Folklore.

Dark Christmas.

Friend:

Krampus stuff?

You:

Now you’re listening.

The Gift

Recipient:

Opens package.

Recipient:

KRAMPUS.

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

“Wishing You a Scary Krampus.”

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

This is horrifying.

You:

You love it?

Recipient:

Absolutely.

Gift:

SUCCESSFUL.

The Horror Fan Gift

Recipient:

Finally.

You:

What?

Recipient:

A Christmas shirt that isn’t cheerful.

You:

Exactly.

Recipient:

No smiling snowman.

You:

Nope.

Recipient:

No dancing elf.

You:

Nope.

Recipient:

Horned nightmare creature?

You:

Correct.

Recipient:

Perfect.

The Goth Gift

Recipient:

Black Christmas energy.

You:

Exactly.

Recipient:

Krampus.

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Dark folklore.

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

I’m wearing this to Christmas dinner.

You:

Please do.

The Folklore Fan

Recipient:

Krampus!

You:

Knew you’d recognize him.

Recipient:

Of course.

You:

I figured this was better than another generic Christmas shirt.

Recipient:

Much better.

You:

Scary enough?

Recipient:

Exactly right.

The Person Who Doesn’t Know

Stranger:

Who’s that?

You:

Krampus.

Stranger:

What’s Krampus?

You:

How much do you enjoy sleeping peacefully?

Stranger:

Why?

You:

Never mind.

Stranger:

No, tell me.

You:

You asked for this.

Ten Minutes Later

Stranger:

Christmas has WHAT?

You:

Yep.

Stranger:

Nobody told me this.

You:

Welcome to folklore.

The Research Spiral

Friend:

I looked up Krampus.

You:

And?

Friend:

Why didn’t anyone teach us about this?

You:

Christmas marketing made choices.

Friend:

This is wild.

You:

Keep reading.

Friend:

There’s MORE?

You:

Oh yes.

Folklore Rabbit Hole

SEARCH: KRAMPUS.

FIVE MINUTES LATER: ALPINE CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS.

TEN MINUTES LATER: KRAMPUSNACHT.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER: VINTAGE KRAMPUS IMAGERY.

FORTY MINUTES LATER: “WHY IS OLD CHRISTMAS FOLKLORE SO TERRIFYING?”

Friend:

I was supposed to be working.

You:

Worth it.

Krampusnacht

Friend:

There’s an entire night for this?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

People dress as Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

With horns?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

And bells?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

And terrifying masks?

You:

Now you understand why regular Christmas sweaters feel inadequate.

The Parade

Friend:

That’s intense.

You:

Very.

Friend:

Those costumes are terrifying.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

And this is Christmas?

You:

Christmas contains multitudes.

The Bell

CLANG.

Friend:

That costume is incredible.

You:

Yep.

CLANG.

Friend:

And unsettling.

You:

Also yep.

Friend:

I suddenly feel very well behaved.

You:

Effective tradition.

Christmas Eve?

KRAMPUS.

Horror Party?

KRAMPUS.

Gothic Christmas?

KRAMPUS.

Alternative Holiday Gathering?

KRAMPUS.

Horror Movie Marathon?

KRAMPUS.

Krampusnacht?

You really shouldn’t have to ask.

Family Christmas Photo?

Depends how much you want to change the mood.

Office Holiday Party?

Depends how much you like your coworkers.

Ugly Sweater Party?

Forget ugly.

Go OMINOUS.

The Wishing You a Scary Krampus Unisex T-Shirt

A dark Christmas gift for:

Krampus fans.

Horror fans.

Christmas horror fans.

Folklore enthusiasts.

Alpine folklore enthusiasts.

Dark folklore fans.

Gothic Christmas fans.

Alternative Christmas enthusiasts.

Goth fashion fans.

Horror collectors.

Monster lovers.

Winter horror fans.

Dark-art enthusiasts.

Macabre holiday fans.

People who prefer monsters to snowmen.

People who prefer horns to halos.

People who prefer chains to sleigh bells.

People who think Christmas needs more horror.

People who think Halloween shouldn’t have exclusive rights to monsters.

People who keep spooky decorations up after October.

People who simply add Santa hats to those decorations in December.

People whose Christmas tree has black ornaments.

People whose holiday aesthetic could reasonably be described as:

“Festive, but threatening.”

People who know who Krampus is.

People who are about to explain Krampus to everyone at the Christmas party.

People who enjoy watching someone’s expression change during that explanation.

People who love old folklore.

People who fall into folklore research rabbit holes.

People who discover Krampusnacht and immediately need to know everything.

People fascinated by Alpine Christmas traditions.

People who appreciate sinister seasonal imagery.

People who enjoy vintage Krampus imagery.

People who like dark Christmas graphics.

People who want something other than another Santa shirt.

People who are tired of smiling snowmen.

People who have enough reindeer.

People who don’t need another gingerbread man.

People who want their Christmas wardrobe to have teeth.

People who prefer their holiday cheer slightly menacing.

People who love horror movies.

People who watch horror movies in December.

People who argue that horror season is twelve months long.

People who attend horror conventions.

People who attend alternative holiday parties.

People who celebrate Krampusnacht.

People who want a conversation-starting Christmas shirt.

People who enjoy making strangers ask:

“What is THAT?”

People who proudly occupy the naughty list.

People who are reconsidering that decision after learning about Krampus.

People who return shopping carts because it’s right.

People who also return shopping carts because they heard chains.

People who refill the office coffee pot.

People who didn’t before.

People who do now.

People who never take the last cookie.

Or at least ask first.

People who hear strange noises outside on Christmas Eve.

People who definitely do NOT investigate those noises.

People who understand basic horror-movie survival rules.

People who know going into the basement is a terrible idea.

People who know going outside alone is worse.

People who would absolutely lock the door after hearing chains.

People who would also check the chimney.

People who understand Santa isn’t the only legendary figure associated with Christmas.

And anyone who thinks:

MERRY CHRISTMAS

is perfectly fine…

but:

WISHING YOU A SCARY KRAMPUS

is significantly more interesting.

Scary Krampus Status Report

DECEMBER: ACTIVE.

TEMPERATURE: FALLING.

SNOW: FALLING.

SUN: SET.

FOREST: DARK.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: GLOWING.

FIREPLACE: CRACKLING.

SANTA: EXPECTED.

OTHER VISITORS: NOT EXPECTED.

NAUGHTY LIST: UNDER REVIEW.

YOUR NAME: POSSIBLY PRESENT.

GOOD DEEDS: BEING RECALLED RAPIDLY.

QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS: ALSO BEING RECALLED.

LAST COOKIE INCIDENT: UNHELPFUL.

SHOPPING CART INCIDENT: VERY UNHELPFUL.

COFFEE POT INCIDENT: EXTREMELY UNHELPFUL.

APPEAL: PENDING.

OUTSIDE NOISE: DETECTED.

SOURCE: UNKNOWN.

FOOTSTEPS: POSSIBLE.

BELLS: HEARD.

SANTA: MAYBE.

CHAINS: ALSO HEARD.

SANTA: PROBABLY NOT.

HORNED SILHOUETTE: DETECTED.

CONFIDENCE: DECLINING.

CURTAINS: CLOSED.

DOORS: LOCKED.

WINDOWS: LOCKED.

CHIMNEY: UNFORTUNATELY STILL A CHIMNEY.

FRIEND: PANICKING.

YOU: PRETENDING NOT TO PANIC.

CHAIN RATTLING: CLOSER.

PRETENDING: BECOMING DIFFICULT.

KNOCK AT DOOR: DETECTED.

DOOR ANSWERING: STRONGLY DISCOURAGED.

CHRISTMAS CHEER: COMPROMISED.

HOLIDAY DREAD: MAXIMUM.

KRAMPUS: POSSIBLY PRESENT.

NAUGHTY LIST CONFIDENCE: SUDDENLY MUCH LOWER.

SCARY CHRISTMAS: ACHIEVED.

CURRENT STATUS: WISHING YOU A VERY SCARY KRAMPUS.

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This heavy cotton tee has the classic cotton look and feel. Casual elegance will make it an instant favorite in everyone’s wardrobe.

.: Classic fit

.: 100% Cotton (fibre content may vary for different colors)

.: Light fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))

.: Tear away label

.: Runs true to size

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Width, in	17.99	20.00	21.97	23.98	25.98	27.99	30.04	31.97
Length, in	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00	35.00
Sleeve length, in	7.24	7.76	8.23	8.74	9.25	9.76	10.24	10.75