Ovaries with Middle Fingers – Tote Bag – Funny Anatomy

BAG: PACKED.

GROCERIES: ACQUIRED.

SNACKS: SECURED.

RANDOM RECEIPTS: MULTIPLYING.

OVARIES: OPINIONATED.

MIDDLE FINGERS: TWO.

ATTITUDE: CARRIED EVERYWHERE.

Some tote bags carry groceries.

Some carry books.

Some carry laptops, snacks, water bottles, sunglasses, emergency lip balm, seventeen receipts you swear you’re going to throw away later, and one completely mysterious object you don’t remember putting there.

This tote?

It carries all of that…

PLUS TWO MIDDLE FINGERS.

The Ovaries with Middle Fingers Tote Bag combines practical everyday storage with a hilariously unapologetic anatomy graphic featuring ovaries transformed into a pair of unmistakable raised middle fingers.

It’s functional.

It’s lightweight.

It’s bold.

It’s ridiculous.

And perhaps most importantly…

IT CAN MAKE A STATEMENT WHILE YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO BUY AVOCADOS.

Available in 13″, 16″, or 18″ sizes, this durable tote gives you room for everything from everyday essentials and books to groceries, snacks, work gear, and whatever else somehow ends up coming home with you.

Perfect for sarcasm lovers, anatomy nerds, healthcare workers with dark senses of humor, rebellious personalities, feminist-humor fans, tote bag collectors, and anyone who believes practical accessories should have considerably more personality.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Double Middle Finger Anatomy Design – The ovaries-inspired graphic turns an ordinary carryall into something gloriously inappropriate.
• Three Sizes Available – Choose 13″, 16″, or 18″ depending on whether you’re carrying a few essentials or approximately half your worldly possessions.
• Durable & Lightweight – Made for practical everyday carrying without unnecessary bulk.
• Sturdy Handles – Ready for books, groceries, everyday gear, and the collection of miscellaneous objects that somehow appears inside every frequently used tote.
• Bold, Eye-Catching Artwork – The high-quality graphic brings plenty of personality wherever the bag goes.
• Practical Meets Sarcastic – Because there’s absolutely no rule saying useful things have to be boring.
• Funny Gift with Major Attitude – Great for sarcastic friends, anatomy geeks, nurses, healthcare workers, medical students, outspoken personalities, and people who never leave home without a tote.

The Tote

Friend:

Cute bag.

You:

Thanks.

Friend:

What’s the graphic?

You:

Ovaries.

Friend:

Oh.

Looks closer.

Friend:

Wait.

You:

There it is.

Friend:

ARE THEY GIVING THE FINGER?

You:

Twice.

Friend:

I thought those were flowers.

You:

That’s how they get you.

The Three-Stage Reaction

STAGE ONE:

“Cute tote.”

STAGE TWO:

“Wait… are those fingers?”

STAGE THREE:

“WAIT… ARE THOSE OVARIES?”

You:

Recognition complete.

The 13-Inch Tote

Phone:

Check.

Wallet:

Check.

Keys:

Check.

Sunglasses:

Check.

Snack:

Obviously.

Random Receipt:

Naturally.

You:

Perfect.

The 16-Inch Tote

Wallet:

Check.

Phone:

Check.

Water Bottle:

Check.

Book:

Check.

Snacks:

Multiple.

Charger:

Check.

Emergency Snack:

Also check.

Friend:

Why do you have two categories of snacks?

You:

Preparation.

The 18-Inch Tote

Friend:

What’s in there?

You:

Everything.

Friend:

Everything?

You:

Basically.

Friend:

How heavy is it?

You:

That’s irrelevant.

Friend:

Can you lift it?

You:

Barely.

Friend:

Maybe remove something.

You:

Absolutely not.

The Tote Bag Law

The larger the tote…

the more things you put inside.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

Until it becomes too heavy.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

Then you complain that it’s heavy.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

But refuse to remove anything.

You:

Now you understand tote bags.

The Grocery Store

Cashier:

Did you bring your own bag?

You:

Yep.

Cashier:

Great!

Opens tote.

Cashier:

Oh.

You:

Yep.

Cashier:

Are those—

You:

Yep.

Cashier:

That’s hilarious.

You:

Thank you.

Cashier:

Paper or plastic?

You:

Apparently ovaries.

The Groceries

Bread:

In.

Apples:

In.

Pasta:

In.

Coffee:

Definitely in.

Chocolate:

Absolutely in.

Avocados:

Carefully in.

Eggs:

Maybe separate bag.

You:

We’re sarcastic.

Not reckless.

The Produce Section

Friend:

We need bananas.

You:

Gets bananas.

Friend:

Apples.

You:

Gets apples.

Friend:

Spinach.

You:

Gets spinach.

Friend:

Cookies.

You:

Those weren’t on the list.

Friend:

I know.

You:

Gets cookies.

Friend:

Excellent.

The Checkout

Cashier:

That’s a lot of groceries.

You:

Yep.

Cashier:

Will they all fit?

You:

Looks at tote.

You:

We’re about to find out.

Tote:

Accepts challenge.

The Parking Lot

Friend:

Want help carrying that?

You:

No.

Friend:

It looks heavy.

You:

I’m fine.

Friend:

You’re leaning sideways.

You:

I’m still fine.

Friend:

Your shoulder disagrees.

You:

My shoulder wasn’t consulted.

The Bookstore

Cashier:

Would you like a bag?

You:

I brought one.

Cashier:

Perfect.

Looks at tote.

Cashier:

Interesting design.

You:

Take another look.

Cashier:

…

You:

There it is.

Cashier:

Okay.

That’s fantastic.

The Book Haul

Friend:

You bought another book?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

You haven’t read the last five.

You:

Irrelevant.

Friend:

Where are you putting it?

You:

Tote.

Friend:

There’s already four books in there.

You:

There’s room.

Friend:

Barely.

You:

Room is room.

The Library

Librarian:

How many books are you checking out?

You:

Seven.

Librarian:

Do you have a bag?

You:

Yep.

Librarian:

Looks at tote.

Pauses.

You:

Don’t worry about it.

Librarian:

I wasn’t going to say anything.

You:

Good.

Librarian:

But I do like it.

You:

Even better.

The Coffee Shop

Barista:

Cute tote.

You:

Thanks.

Barista:

Is that—

Looks closer.

Barista:

OH!

You:

Yep.

Barista:

I love it.

You:

Thank you.

Barista:

What’s in there?

You:

Mostly things I don’t need.

Barista:

Same.

The Coffee Run

Coffee:

Acquired.

Muffin:

Acquired.

Phone:

In tote.

Wallet:

In tote.

Keys:

In tote.

Receipt:

Also in tote.

You:

Why do I keep the receipts?

Friend:

Nobody knows.

You:

I’ll throw them away later.

Friend:

You said that six months ago.

You:

Later is flexible.

The Receipt Collection

Receipt One:

Coffee.

Receipt Two:

Groceries.

Receipt Three:

No idea.

Receipt Four:

Completely faded.

Receipt Five:

Possibly from another decade.

Friend:

Why are these still in here?

You:

Records.

Friend:

Of what?

You:

My journey.

Friend:

Throw them away.

You:

Don’t tell me how to live.

The Bottom of the Bag

You:

Reaches inside.

You:

What’s this?

Friend:

What?

You:

Pulls out random object.

Friend:

Why is that in your bag?

You:

I don’t know.

Friend:

It’s your bag.

You:

That doesn’t mean I control everything that happens inside it.

The Archaeological Dig

Friend:

Looking for something?

You:

My keys.

Friend:

How long have you been searching?

You:

Two minutes.

Friend:

Empty the bag.

You:

No.

Friend:

Why?

You:

Because I’m afraid of what we’ll discover.

Friend:

Fair.

The Keys

You:

Where are my keys?

Friend:

In your tote?

You:

Obviously.

Friend:

Then look.

You:

I am.

Friend:

Check the bottom.

You:

Finds keys.

Friend:

There.

You:

They weren’t there before.

Friend:

They absolutely were.

You:

Tote bag physics.

The Phone

You:

Where’s my phone?

Friend:

Tote.

You:

I checked.

Friend:

Check again.

You:

Checks.

Finds phone.

Friend:

Every time.

You:

It moved.

Friend:

Phones don’t move.

You:

You don’t understand tote bags.

The Sunglasses

You:

I can’t find my sunglasses.

Friend:

They’re on your head.

You:

…

Friend:

Your tote is innocent this time.

You:

We don’t know that.

The Lip Balm

Friend:

Do you have lip balm?

You:

Of course.

Friend:

Can I borrow it?

You:

Reaches into tote.

Pulls out pen.

Receipt.

Snack.

Charger.

Another receipt.

Sunglasses case.

Random hair tie.

Friend:

You sure you have lip balm?

You:

I HAVE THREE.

Friend:

Then where are they?

You:

That’s the mystery.

The Snack

Friend:

I’m hungry.

You:

I have snacks.

Friend:

Of course you do.

You:

What do you want?

Friend:

What do you have?

You:

Reaches into tote.

Friend:

Why are you smiling?

You:

This is my moment.

Emergency Preparedness

Friend:

Does anyone have a pen?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Tissues?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Gum?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Charger?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Snack?

You:

Obviously.

Friend:

Small screwdriver?

You:

…

Friend:

No?

You:

Actually—

Friend:

WHY?

You:

Don’t question the tote.

The Friend Who Doesn’t Carry a Bag

Friend:

I don’t understand why you carry so much stuff.

You:

Do you need gum?

Friend:

Yes.

You:

Hands gum.

Friend:

Thanks.

You:

Do you need a charger?

Friend:

Actually, yes.

You:

Hands charger.

Friend:

Okay.

You:

Still questioning the tote?

Friend:

I withdraw my criticism.

The Friend’s Stuff

Friend:

Can you put my phone in your bag?

You:

Sure.

Friend:

And my keys?

You:

Fine.

Friend:

And this water bottle?

You:

Okay.

Friend:

And—

You:

Get your own tote.

The Partner

Partner:

Can you carry this?

You:

What?

Partner:

My wallet.

You:

Fine.

Partner:

And my sunglasses?

You:

Fine.

Partner:

And—

You:

This is how it starts.

Partner:

How what starts?

You:

The transformation from tote bag to family storage unit.

The Family Storage Unit

Your Stuff:

40%.

Partner’s Stuff:

20%.

Kid’s Stuff:

25%.

Snacks:

10%.

Mystery Objects:

5%.

You:

And somehow I’m carrying everything.

Tote:

🖕 🖕

You:

Exactly.

The Work Bag

Laptop:

Packed.

Notebook:

Packed.

Charger:

Packed.

Pens:

Packed.

Water:

Packed.

Snack:

Packed.

Emergency snack:

Packed.

Graphic:

🖕 🖕

You:

Ready for productivity.

The Coworker

Coworker:

Interesting bag.

You:

Thanks.

Coworker:

What’s the graphic?

You:

Anatomy.

Coworker:

Oh.

You:

Look closer.

Coworker:

…

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

I have several questions.

You:

I have a meeting.

The Meeting

Coworker:

Can I borrow a pen?

You:

Reaches into tote.

Coworker:

How much stuff is in there?

You:

Enough.

Coworker:

Is that a granola bar?

You:

Emergency provisions.

Coworker:

For a forty-minute meeting?

You:

You never know.

The Anatomy Nerd

Friend:

Technically—

You:

No.

Friend:

I haven’t even started.

You:

I know where this is going.

Friend:

The ovaries aren’t anatomically—

You:

We know.

Friend:

Okay.

You:

It’s a tote bag.

Not a medical diagram.

Friend:

Fair.

The Biology Student

Student:

Interesting representation.

You:

Thank you.

Student:

Although—

You:

No.

Student:

Scientifically—

You:

Still no.

Student:

Fine.

You:

Would you like a snack?

Student:

Actually, yes.

You:

See?

Tote bags solve problems.

The Nurse

Nurse:

I need that bag.

You:

The tote?

Nurse:

Yes.

You:

Because of the anatomy graphic?

Nurse:

Yes.

You:

Because it’s practical?

Nurse:

Also yes.

You:

Because you carry seventeen things everywhere?

Nurse:

Now you’re getting it.

The Healthcare Worker

Coworker:

Do you have—

You:

Probably.

Coworker:

You don’t even know what I was going to ask.

You:

Doesn’t matter.

Coworker:

Bandage?

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

Pen?

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

Snack?

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

Coffee?

You:

That’s where I draw the line.

The Medical Student

Friend:

What’s in the tote?

Student:

Books.

Friend:

Anything else?

Student:

More books.

Friend:

Anything else?

Student:

Caffeine.

Friend:

That’s not an object.

Student:

It is today.

The Gym

Friend:

Is that your gym bag?

You:

Today it is.

Friend:

You use that tote for everything.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

Groceries?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Books?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Work?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Gym?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Vacation?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

You really like that bag.

You:

Efficient.

The Farmers Market

Vendor:

Would you like a bag?

You:

Brought one.

Vendor:

Great!

Looks.

Vendor:

Oh!

You:

Yep.

Vendor:

That’s hilarious.

You:

Thank you.

Vendor:

Want another bunch of carrots?

You:

Can they fit?

Tote:

Challenge accepted.

The Market Haul

Bread.

Cheese.

Vegetables.

Fruit.

Coffee beans.

Jam.

Something you absolutely did not plan to buy.

Another thing you absolutely did not plan to buy.

Friend:

You came for tomatoes.

You:

I know.

Friend:

You spent eighty dollars.

You:

I know.

Friend:

Did you get tomatoes?

You:

…

Friend:

Seriously?

You:

We’re going back.

The Thrift Store

Friend:

You don’t need anything.

You:

I’m just looking.

Twenty Minutes Later

Tote:

Full.

Friend:

You said you were just looking.

You:

Things happened.

Friend:

You bought a lamp.

You:

It was six dollars.

Friend:

You can’t put a lamp in the tote.

You:

Watch me.

The Craft Store

You:

I only need one thing.

Tote:

Concerned.

Forty Minutes Later

Yarn.

Markers.

Paper.

Paint.

Something glittery.

Three things from clearance.

Friend:

One thing?

You:

Plans changed.

Tote:

Doing heroic work.

The Vacation

Friend:

Why did you pack an empty tote in your suitcase?

You:

Because I’ll need it.

Friend:

For what?

Three Days Later

Friend:

Can you carry my sunscreen?

You:

Looks at friend.

Friend:

Don’t say it.

You:

I told you.

The Beach

Sunscreen:

In.

Towel:

In.

Book:

In.

Sunglasses:

In.

Snacks:

In.

Water:

In.

Friend:

Can my phone go in there?

You:

We need to discuss rental fees.

The Road Trip

Friend:

Ready?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

What’s in the tote?

You:

Snacks.

Friend:

Anything else?

You:

That’s the important part.

Friend:

Good answer.

The Car

Partner:

Where’s the charger?

You:

Tote.

Partner:

Where’s the gum?

You:

Tote.

Partner:

Where’s the reservation confirmation?

You:

Phone.

Partner:

Where’s the phone?

You:

…

Partner:

Tote?

You:

Probably.

The Day Trip

Friend:

Do we need all that?

You:

Yes.

Friend:

We’re leaving for four hours.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

Why do you have three snacks?

You:

Different moods.

Friend:

Why two water bottles?

You:

Hydration.

Friend:

Why a paperback and an e-reader?

You:

Options.

Friend:

I’m starting to understand you.

The Introvert

Friend:

Want to go shopping?

You:

Sure.

Friend:

Crowded mall.

You:

Maybe.

Friend:

Saturday afternoon.

You:

Hmm.

Friend:

Coffee first.

You:

Gets tote.

Friend:

There it is.

The Social Battery

Battery:

100%.

You:

Leaves house.

Two Hours Later

Battery:

34%.

Friend:

One more store?

You:

Fine.

Thirty Minutes Later

Battery:

8%.

Friend:

Dinner?

You:

Looks at tote graphic.

Friend:

Takeout?

You:

Excellent.

The Mood

Friend:

How are you?

You:

Fine.

Friend:

Really?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Looks at tote.

You:

Stop using the bag as a mood indicator.

Friend:

It’s hard not to.

The Good Mood

Friend:

You’re happy today.

You:

Very.

Friend:

Then why are your ovaries giving everyone the finger?

You:

They’re decorative.

Friend:

So the bag isn’t communicating your mood?

You:

Not always.

Friend:

This changes everything.

The Bad Mood

Friend:

How are you?

You:

Raises tote.

Friend:

Oh.

You:

Today it is accurate.

Friend:

Coffee?

You:

Please.

The Sarcasm

Person:

Are you always sarcastic?

You:

Never.

Person:

That was sarcastic.

You:

Was it?

Person:

Yes.

You:

Interesting.

Person:

Your tote isn’t helping.

You:

My tote is innocent.

Tote:

🖕 🖕

Person:

Sure.

The Optimist

Friend:

Think positive!

You:

I am.

Friend:

Choose joy!

You:

Okay.

Friend:

Practice gratitude!

You:

Sure.

Friend:

Looks at tote.

Friend:

Are you listening?

You:

Completely.

The Minimalist

Friend:

You should carry less.

You:

Why?

Friend:

Minimalism.

You:

No.

Friend:

You don’t need all this stuff.

You:

Need a tissue?

Friend:

Actually, yes.

You:

Hands tissue.

Friend:

Fine.

You win.

The Tiny Purse Person

Friend:

I only carry my phone and wallet.

You:

How?

Friend:

That’s all I need.

You:

What if you need a charger?

Friend:

I don’t.

You:

Snack?

Friend:

No.

You:

Tissues?

Friend:

No.

You:

Pen?

Friend:

No.

You:

Emergency granola bar?

Friend:

Why would I need—

You:

We live very different lives.

The Bag Collector

Friend:

Don’t you already have tote bags?

You:

Yes.

Friend:

How many?

You:

That’s not important.

Friend:

More than ten?

You:

Next question.

Friend:

More than twenty?

You:

I don’t appreciate this interrogation.

Friend:

And you’re buying another?

You:

This one has ovaries giving the finger.

Friend:

Okay.

That’s actually different.

You:

Exactly.

The Compliment

Stranger:

I love your tote.

You:

Thanks!

Stranger:

At first I thought the design was abstract.

You:

Stage one.

Stranger:

Then I saw the fingers.

You:

Stage two.

Stranger:

Then I realized it was ovaries.

You:

Stage three.

Stranger:

You’ve categorized the reactions?

You:

We’ve had enough data.

The Gift

Recipient:

You got me a tote!

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Cute!

You:

Look closer.

Recipient:

Wait.

You:

Keep looking.

Recipient:

OH MY GOD.

You:

There it is.

Recipient:

Are those ovaries?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Giving the finger?

You:

Twice.

Recipient:

This is ridiculous.

You:

Do you like it?

Recipient:

I LOVE IT.

Gift

Successful.

The Best Friend Gift

Friend:

You saw this bag…

and thought of me?

You:

Immediately.

Friend:

Ovaries giving two middle fingers reminded you of me?

You:

Lovingly.

Friend:

I’m not sure how to feel about that.

You:

You love it.

Friend:

I absolutely love it.

The Nurse Gift

Recipient:

A tote bag!

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Looks at graphic.

Recipient:

Perfect.

You:

You didn’t even hesitate.

Recipient:

I’ve worked in healthcare too long to hesitate.

You:

Fair.

Recipient:

How much stuff can it carry?

You:

Depends on the size.

Recipient:

Largest.

You:

I knew you’d say that.

The 13-Inch Personality

ESSENTIALS.

SNACK.

PHONE.

WALLET.

ATTITUDE.

The 16-Inch Personality

ESSENTIALS.

BOOK.

WATER.

EXTRA SNACKS.

MORE ATTITUDE.

The 18-Inch Personality

EVERYTHING.

Friend:

Everything?

You:

EVERYTHING.

Grocery Run?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Bookstore?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Coffee Shop?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Farmers Market?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Work?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Road Trip?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Beach Day?

GRAB THE TOTE.

Anatomy Nerd?

DEFINITELY GRAB THE TOTE.

Sarcastic Best Friend?

They may have found their new favorite bag.

The Ovaries with Middle Fingers Tote Bag

A funny gift for:

Sarcasm lovers.

Anatomy nerds.

Biology geeks.

Science geeks.

Healthcare workers with dark humor.

Nurses with questionable senses of humor.

Medical students.

Book lovers.

Coffee lovers.

Tote bag collectors.

Farmers market regulars.

Thrift store treasure hunters.

People who always carry snacks.

People who always carry emergency snacks.

People who carry a charger for everyone.

People who somehow become responsible for everyone else’s belongings.

People with seventeen receipts in their bag.

People who can never find their keys.

People who can never find their phone.

People whose phone was in the tote the entire time.

People who believe practical accessories shouldn’t be boring.

People who love inappropriate anatomy jokes.

People who enjoy a good double take.

People who were told they already own enough tote bags.

People who correctly understand that this is impossible.

People who need a bag for their other bags.

People who have been told they’re “a little much.”

People who correctly interpreted that as praise.

And anyone who wants to carry groceries, books, snacks, daily essentials…

and approximately 200% more attitude.

Tote Bag Status Report

TOTE: PACKED.

SIZE OPTIONS: 13″, 16″, 18″.

FABRIC: LIGHTWEIGHT.

DURABILITY: READY.

HANDLES: STURDY.

PHONE: INSIDE.

WALLET: INSIDE.

KEYS: SOMEWHERE INSIDE.

LIP BALM: PROBABLY INSIDE.

PEN: DEFINITELY INSIDE.

SNACK: INSIDE.

EMERGENCY SNACK: ALSO INSIDE.

RANDOM RECEIPTS: MULTIPLYING.

MYSTERY OBJECT: UNIDENTIFIED.

GROCERIES: FITTING.

BOOKS: ACCUMULATING.

SHOULDER: WORKING OVERTIME.

OVARIES: PRESENT.

FINGERS: ARTISTICALLY ADDED.

MIDDLE FINGERS: TWO.

ATTITUDE: MAXIMUM.

SARCASM: ACTIVE.

SUBTLETY: ABSENT.

DOUBLE TAKES: EXPECTED.

QUESTIONS: INEVITABLE.

ANATOMY STUDENT: PREPARING CORRECTION.

CORRECTION: DECLINED.

GRANDMA: CONFUSED.

BEST FRIEND: WANTS ONE.

NURSE FRIEND: WANTS THE LARGE ONE.

MINIMALIST FRIEND: CONCERNED.

TOTE COLLECTION: EXPANDING.

THINGS YOU ACTUALLY NEEDED: 6.

THINGS CURRENTLY IN BAG: 27.

REASON: UNKNOWN.

CAPACITY FOR ATTITUDE: UNLIMITED.

CURRENT STATUS: CARRYING IT ALL.

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Weight	N/A