Superdad – Black Mug – Funny Superhero Dad – Father’s Day Gift

IDENTITY: DAD.

SECRET IDENTITY: ALSO DAD.

MUG: BLACK.

COFFEE: HOT.

CAFFEINE: LOADING.

DAD POWERS: BOOTING UP.

CHILDREN: ALREADY AWAKE.

THERMOSTAT: SOMEBODY TOUCHED IT.

CRISIS: IMMINENT.

SUPERDAD.

Every hero needs fuel.

Some superheroes recharge with mysterious cosmic energy.

Some draw power from the sun.

Some have advanced technology.

Dad?

Dad has coffee.

The Superdad Black Mug celebrates the everyday hero who somehow keeps the household moving while simultaneously serving as mechanic, chauffeur, grill master, IT department, handyman, jar opener, spider remover, thermostat guardian, joke writer, lawn supervisor, financial commentator, and finder of objects that were apparently:

“NOT THERE A SECOND AGO.”

Featuring bold, colorful SUPERDAD lettering in a comic-inspired superhero style against sleek black ceramic, this mug gives Dad a caffeine vessel worthy of his household legend status.

Available in 11 oz and 15 oz sizes, it’s perfect for morning coffee, afternoon coffee, emergency coffee, weekend-project coffee, school-drop-off coffee, and:

“EVERYBODY PLEASE GIVE DAD FIVE MINUTES”

coffee.

No cape required.

No secret headquarters required.

No radioactive origin story required.

Just add coffee.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Bold SUPERDAD Design – Colorful comic-inspired lettering gives Dad the superhero treatment he deserves.
• Sleek Black Ceramic – The vibrant design stands out beautifully against the glossy black surface.
• 11 oz & 15 oz Sizes – Choose regular hero fuel or the larger emergency reserve.
• Made for Everyday Dad Adventures – Perfect for mornings, work, school drop-offs, garage projects, weekend repairs, and well-earned breaks.
• Dad-Joke Compatible – May be used while delivering terrible jokes. In fact, that’s probably inevitable.
• Perfect Father’s Day Gift – A fun and useful way for kids, spouses, and families to tell Dad he’s their hero.
• Great for Birthdays & Beyond – Also makes a fun birthday, Christmas, new-dad, first Father’s Day, or just-because gift.

Superdad Morning Activation Sequence

STEP ONE: ALARM.

Dad:

No.

STEP TWO: SECOND ALARM.

Dad:

Still no.

STEP THREE: CHILD APPEARS.

Child:

Dad.

Dad:

…

Child:

Dad.

Dad:

…

Child:

DAD.

Dad:

What?

Child:

I’m hungry.

Dad:

Of course you are.

Hero Status

MISSION: STARTED EARLIER THAN EXPECTED.

Step Four

Locate Superdad mug.

Step Five

Add coffee.

Step Six

Wait.

Step Seven

Dad powers slowly return.

VISION: ONLINE.

HEARING: ONLINE.

PROBLEM-SOLVING: LOADING.

DAD JOKES: UNFORTUNATELY ALREADY ONLINE.

The First Sip

Child:

Dad?

Dad:

Wait.

Child:

But—

Dad raises Superdad mug.

Child:

After coffee?

Dad nods.

Communication Status

WORDS REQUIRED: ZERO.

Before Coffee

Family:

The Wi-Fi isn’t working.

Dad:

…

Family:

The sink is dripping.

Dad:

…

Family:

There’s a weird noise in the garage.

Dad:

…

Family:

The thermostat says—

Dad:

WHO TOUCHED THE THERMOSTAT?

Superpower Status

THERMOSTAT SENSE: APPARENTLY DOES NOT REQUIRE CAFFEINE.

After Coffee

Family:

Wi-Fi?

Dad:

Restart the router.

Family:

Sink?

Dad:

I’ll look at it.

Family:

Garage noise?

Dad:

Probably the opener.

Family:

Thermostat?

Dad:

Nobody touches it.

Hero Status

SYSTEM: FULLY OPERATIONAL.

The 11 oz Mug

Child:

Is that enough coffee?

Dad:

Usually.

Child:

Usually?

Dad:

Normal weekday.

Caffeine Classification

11 OZ: STANDARD HERO FUEL.

The 15 oz Mug

Child:

That’s a bigger mug.

Dad:

Yep.

Child:

Why?

Dad:

Saturday project.

Child:

What are we building?

Dad:

We’re replacing one shelf.

Six Hours Later

Child:

Why is the entire closet empty?

Dad:

We ran into a few things.

Caffeine Classification

15 OZ: CORRECT DECISION.

Monday Morning

Monday:

Good morning.

Dad:

No.

Monday:

Ready for another week?

Dad pours coffee.

Monday:

I’ll wait.

Monday Status

THREAT: ACTIVE.

COUNTERMEASURE: CAFFEINE.

The School Morning

Dad:

Shoes.

Child:

Can’t find them.

Dad:

Backpack.

Child:

Don’t know where it is.

Dad:

Lunch.

Child:

Forgot it.

Dad:

Homework.

Child:

It’s somewhere.

Dad slowly takes enormous sip.

Morning Status

SUPERDAD: BEING TESTED.

Five Minutes Later

Dad:

Shoes are by the door.

Backpack is on the couch.

Lunch is on the counter.

Homework is under your backpack.

Child:

How do you know everything?

Dad:

Coffee.

Hero Status

SUPER VISION: RESTORED.

School Drop-Off

Child:

I forgot my water bottle.

Dad:

Of course you did.

Child:

Can we go back?

Dad looks at coffee.

Coffee:

You knew this wouldn’t be easy.

Mission Status

ROUTE: RECALCULATING.

The Commute

Traffic:

Hello.

Dad:

No.

Traffic:

We’re barely moving.

Dad:

I noticed.

Traffic:

Accident ahead.

Dad:

Of course.

Coffee:

I’m here for you.

Dad:

Thank you.

Commute Status

VEHICLE SPEED: 4 MPH.

CAFFEINE CONSUMPTION: STEADY.

The Office

Coworker:

Superdad?

Dad:

That’s what they tell me.

Coworker:

Kids get you that?

Dad:

Yep.

Coworker:

Nice.

Dad:

Best job title I’ve ever had.

Workplace Status

TITLE: SUPERDAD.

SALARY FOR POSITION: QUESTIONABLE.

The Morning Meeting

Manager:

Let’s start with a quick icebreaker.

Dad takes sip.

Manager:

Everyone share something interesting about themselves.

Dad takes longer sip.

Manager:

You okay?

Dad:

I’m processing.

Corporate Status

CAFFEINE: INSUFFICIENT FOR ICEBREAKERS.

The Meeting That Could Have Been an Email

Manager:

I wanted to gather everyone—

Dad:

Hmm.

Manager:

—to discuss a small update—

Dad:

Hmm.

Manager:

—that technically could have been emailed.

Dad slowly lowers Superdad mug.

Manager:

I can see your concern.

Hero Status

PATIENCE: TESTED.

Dad’s Desk

Coworker:

How many coffees have you had?

Dad:

Define coffee.

Coworker:

Cups.

Dad:

Let’s not bring numbers into this.

Caffeine Status

CLASSIFIED.

The Mug Thief

Coworker:

Can I use your mug?

Dad:

No.

Coworker:

Why?

Dad:

Superdad.

Coworker:

I’m also a dad.

Dad:

Where’s your mug?

Coworker:

…

Dad:

Exactly.

Mug Status

OWNERSHIP: DEFENDED.

The Home Office

Child enters.

Dad:

I’m working.

Child:

I know.

Dad:

Do you need something?

Child:

No.

Dad:

Then why are you here?

Child:

Just checking.

Dad:

Checking what?

Child:

If you’re working.

Productivity Status

INTERRUPTION: SUCCESSFUL.

Video Call

Coworker:

You’re muted.

Dad:

…

Coworker:

Still muted.

Dad lifts Superdad mug.

Coworker:

Nice mug.

Dad gives thumbs-up.

Coworker:

Still muted.

Remote Work Status

COMMUNICATION: EFFECTIVE ENOUGH.

The Weekend

Partner:

Any plans today?

Dad:

Relax.

Partner:

Really?

Dad:

Absolutely.

Partner:

No projects?

Dad:

None.

Dad looks out window.

Dad:

Actually…

Relaxation Status

CANCELED.

The Project

Partner:

What are you doing?

Dad:

Fixing this.

Partner:

Was it broken?

Dad:

Not exactly.

Partner:

Then why are you fixing it?

Dad:

It could be better.

Project Status

PROBLEM: CREATED RETROACTIVELY.

The Garage

Dad enters with coffee.

Dad:

Okay.

Garage:

…

Dad:

Where did I put that wrench?

Garage:

…

Dad:

I know it’s in here.

Search Status

GARAGE: REFUSING COOPERATION.

Ten Minutes Later

Dad:

Found it.

Child:

Where was it?

Dad:

Exactly where I put it.

Child:

Where?

Dad:

That’s not important.

Hero Status

TOOL: RECOVERED.

The Toolbox

Child:

Can I help?

Dad:

Sure.

Child:

What do I do?

Dad:

Hold this.

Child:

What is it?

Dad:

Important.

Apprentice Status

JOB DESCRIPTION: VAGUE.

The Flashlight

Dad:

Point it here.

Child:

Here?

Dad:

No.

Child:

Here?

Dad:

That’s my face.

Child:

Sorry.

Dad:

At the screw.

Child:

Which screw?

Dad takes sip.

Patience Status

CAFFEINE: EARNING ITS KEEP.

The Instructions

Partner:

Did you read them?

Dad:

Yes.

Partner:

All of them?

Dad:

I looked at the diagram.

Partner:

That’s different.

Dad:

Same general concept.

Assembly Status

INSTRUCTIONS: MOSTLY ACKNOWLEDGED.

The Extra Parts

Partner:

Why are these left over?

Dad:

Extras.

Partner:

There shouldn’t be extras.

Dad:

Well, there are.

Partner:

Does that concern you?

Dad:

Is it standing?

Partner:

Yes.

Dad:

Then we’re done.

Engineering Status

CONFIDENCE: HEROIC.

The Plumbing Problem

Partner:

Sink’s leaking.

Dad:

Where?

Partner:

Underneath.

Dad puts coffee down.

Dad:

Get me a towel.

Hero Status

MISSION: ACTIVE.

Thirty Minutes Later

Partner:

Fixed?

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

What was wrong?

Dad:

Thing was loose.

Partner:

Which thing?

Dad:

The plumbing thing.

Technical Report

DETAILS: UNNECESSARY.

The Wi-Fi Emergency

Child:

DAD!

Dad:

WHAT?

Child:

THE INTERNET IS DOWN!

Dad:

Okay.

Child:

THIS IS SERIOUS!

Dad:

Everybody remain calm.

Emergency Status

HOUSEHOLD PANIC: HIGH.

Dad restarts router.

Wi-Fi returns.

Child:

YOU FIXED IT!

Dad takes sip.

Hero Status

CIVILIZATION: RESTORED.

The Grill

Dad sets mug nearby.

Partner:

Coffee while grilling?

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

It’s afternoon.

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

Okay.

Caffeine Status

TIME RESTRICTIONS: PERSONAL.

The Tongs

Dad:

CLICK CLICK.

Child:

Why do dads always do that?

Dad:

Do what?

Child:

Click the tongs twice.

Dad:

Equipment check.

Child:

Does that actually do anything?

Dad:

You wouldn’t understand.

Grill Status

TONGS: CERTIFIED.

The Burgers

Guest:

How long?

Dad:

Almost.

Guest:

You said that ten minutes ago.

Dad:

They weren’t almost then.

Guest:

What?

Dad:

Trust the process.

Grill Master Status

QUESTIONS: DISCOURAGED.

The Dad Joke

Child:

I’m hungry.

Dad:

Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.

Child:

I knew you were going to say that.

Dad:

And yet you gave me the opportunity.

Joke Status

TARGET: ACQUIRED.

The Coffee Joke

Child:

Is that coffee?

Dad:

No.

Child:

What is it?

Dad:

Superhero fuel.

Child:

That’s coffee.

Dad:

Marketing matters.

Beverage Status

REBRANDED.

The Recliner

Dad sits down with mug.

Dad:

Finally.

Child:

Dad?

Dad:

No.

Child:

I haven’t asked yet.

Dad:

I know.

Hero Status

BREAK: THREATENED.

The Nap

Dad:

I’m just resting my eyes.

Family:

You’re snoring.

Dad:

No I’m not.

Family:

You were asleep.

Dad:

I was thinking.

Nap Status

OFFICIAL CLASSIFICATION: THINKING.

The Movie

Dad:

I picked this one.

Family:

Okay.

Thirty minutes later.

Dad:

…

Family:

He’s asleep.

Dad suddenly:

I’m awake.

Family:

Nobody said your name.

Dad:

I heard you.

Super Hearing

SELECTIVELY IMPRESSIVE.

The Thermostat

Child reaches toward thermostat.

Dad, from another room:

DON’T.

Child freezes.

Child:

HOW?

Superpower Status

THERMOSTAT DETECTION RANGE: UNKNOWN.

The Light Switch

Dad:

Who’s in the bathroom?

Family:

Nobody.

Dad:

Then why is the light on?

Family:

…

Dad:

Exactly.

Energy Conservation Status

SUPERDAD: VIGILANT.

The Front Door

Dad:

Close the door!

Child:

I’m going back outside!

Dad:

THEN GO OUTSIDE AND CLOSE IT!

Child:

Why?

Dad:

WE’RE NOT AIR-CONDITIONING THE PLANET!

Utility Status

PLANET: NOT BEING AIR-CONDITIONED.

The Electric Bill

Bill:

Hello again.

Dad:

What do you want?

Bill:

Money.

Dad:

Why are you so high?

Bill:

Ask the thermostat.

Dad slowly looks toward family.

Villain Status

ARCHNEMESIS: RETURNED.

The Car

Teen:

There’s a light on.

Dad:

Which one?

Teen:

Check engine.

Dad:

How long?

Teen:

…

Dad:

How long has it been on?

Teen:

Define long.

Dad reaches for coffee.

Parenting Status

CAFFEINE: REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY.

The Driving Lesson

Dad:

Easy.

Teen:

I am.

Dad:

Easy on the gas.

Teen:

I AM.

Dad grips coffee mug with both hands.

Teen:

Are you okay?

Dad:

Never better.

Hero Status

FEAR: DISCOVERED.

The Road Trip

Dad:

Everyone ready?

Family:

YES.

Dad:

Bathroom?

Family:

YES.

Dad:

Snacks?

YES.

Dad:

Chargers?

YES.

Dad:

Coffee?

Dad holds up Superdad mug.

Dad:

Obviously.

Road Trip Status

DEPARTURE: APPROVED.

Ten Minutes Later

Child:

Are we there yet?

Dad:

No.

Child:

How much longer?

Dad:

Four hours.

Child:

Okay.

Thirty seconds later.

Child:

How much longer now?

Dad:

Four hours and thirty seconds.

Patience Status

DECLINING.

The Gas Station

Partner:

Need anything?

Dad:

Coffee.

Partner:

You already have coffee.

Dad:

Backup coffee.

Preparedness Status

SUPERDAD THINKING AHEAD.

The Hardware Store

Partner:

You only need one thing.

Dad:

Correct.

Forty-Five Minutes Later

Dad returns carrying bag.

Partner:

That’s more than one thing.

Dad:

They had a sale.

Shopping Status

MISSION SCOPE: EXPANDED.

The New Tool

Partner:

Don’t you already own that?

Dad:

Different model.

Partner:

What’s different?

Dad:

This one has three speeds.

Partner:

Do you need three speeds?

Dad:

That’s not the point.

Tool Status

PURCHASE: HEROICALLY JUSTIFIED.

The Mystery Cable

Partner:

Throw this away.

Dad:

Absolutely not.

Partner:

Do you know what it goes to?

Dad:

No.

Partner:

Then why keep it?

Dad:

Because the moment I throw it away, somebody will need it.

Superdad Law

UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED BY DADS.

Years Later

Adult Child:

Dad?

Dad:

Yeah?

Adult Child:

Do you happen to have an old cable for—

Dad:

Garage.

Third drawer.

Back left.

Adult Child:

How?

Dad takes sip.

Hero Status

PROPHECY: FULFILLED.

The Spider

Child:

DAD!

Dad:

WHAT?

Child:

SPIDER!

Dad:

Where?

Child:

THERE!

Dad:

That’s tiny.

Child:

IT’S MASSIVE.

Dad:

Okay.

Dad puts mug down.

Hero Mission

THREAT: EIGHT-LEGGED.

HOUSEHOLD: EVACUATED.

SUPERDAD: DEPLOYED.

The Mysterious Noise at Night

Partner:

Did you hear that?

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

What was it?

Dad:

Probably nothing.

Partner:

Are you going to check?

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

Thought it was nothing.

Dad:

Probably.

Security Status

SUPERDAD: INVESTIGATING ANYWAY.

The New Dad

Baby:

WAAAAAA!

Dad:

Coffee?

Baby:

WAAAAAA!

Dad:

That’s for me.

New Dad Status

SLEEP: CRITICAL.

3:17 A.M.

Baby:

WAAAAAA!

Dad:

I’m coming.

Coffee Mug:

…

Dad:

I know.

We’ll meet again soon.

Hero Status

CAFFEINE: TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE.

First Father’s Day

Partner:

We got you something.

Dad:

You didn’t have to.

Partner hands mug.

Dad:

Superdad?

Partner:

Yep.

Dad:

That’s pretty cool.

Partner:

You okay?

Dad:

Yep.

Partner:

You’re tearing up.

Dad:

Coffee steam.

Partner:

There’s no coffee in it yet.

Dad:

Very aggressive mug.

Emotional Status

DAD: DEFINITELY NOT CRYING.

Father’s Day Breakfast

Child:

Happy Father’s Day!

Dad:

Thanks!

Child:

We made breakfast.

Dad:

Wow.

Child:

And coffee.

Dad:

You remembered.

Child:

Mom remembered.

Dad:

Still counts.

Father’s Day Status

HERO: APPRECIATED.

The Birthday Gift

Dad:

A mug?

Child:

Look at it.

Dad turns mug around.

Dad:

Superdad.

Child:

Because you’re my superhero.

Dad:

Okay.

Who’s cutting onions?

Birthday Status

EMOTIONAL ARMOR: FAILED.

The Dad Who Says He Doesn’t Need Anything

Family:

What do you want for Father’s Day?

Dad:

Nothing.

Family:

Seriously.

Dad:

I don’t need anything.

Family:

What about a mug?

Dad:

I have mugs.

Family gives him Superdad mug.

Dad:

Okay, this one’s pretty good.

Gift Status

“I DON’T NEED ANYTHING”: SUCCESSFULLY DEFEATED.

The Dad Who Has Everything

Person:

What do you buy a dad who already has everything?

Other Person:

Does he drink coffee?

Person:

Yes.

Other Person:

Does he make terrible jokes?

Person:

Constantly.

Other Person:

Does he fix things?

Person:

Eventually.

Other Person:

Superdad mug.

Person:

Done.

Shopping Status

PROBLEM: SOLVED.

The Daughter

Daughter:

Dad, this is for you.

Dad:

Superdad?

Daughter:

Yep.

Dad:

Because I’m super?

Daughter:

Don’t ruin it.

Dad:

Too late.

Dad Status

JOKE OPPORTUNITY: NEVER WASTED.

The Son

Son:

Got you something.

Dad:

Thanks, buddy.

Son:

Use it at work.

Dad:

Definitely.

Son:

So everybody knows.

Dad:

Knows what?

Son:

You’re Superdad.

Dad:

…

Son:

Dad?

Dad:

I’m fine.

Emotional Status

FATHER: COMPROMISED.

The Wife

Wife:

New coffee mug.

Dad:

Superdad.

Wife:

Accurate.

Dad:

Really?

Wife:

Don’t let it go to your head.

Marriage Status

COMPLIMENT: RECEIVED.

EGO: MONITORED.

The Grandpa

Grandkid:

You’re a super dad.

Grandpa:

I’m Grandpa.

Grandkid:

Supergranddad?

Grandpa:

I’ll allow it.

Hero Status

POWERS: MULTIGENERATIONAL.

The Coffee Shop

Barista:

Superdad?

Dad:

Yep.

Barista:

11 oz or 15 oz?

Dad:

What day is it?

Barista:

Monday.

Dad:

You know the answer.

Caffeine Status

15 OZ: AUTHORIZED.

The Morning Person

Morning Person:

GOOD MORNING!

Dad:

…

Morning Person:

BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Dad:

…

Morning Person:

HOW ARE YOU?!

Dad slowly raises Superdad mug.

Morning Person:

I’ll come back later.

Conflict Status

RESOLVED PEACEFULLY.

The Coffee Snob

Friend:

What tasting notes do you get?

Dad:

Coffee.

Friend:

Anything else?

Dad:

Hot coffee.

Friend:

Caramel?

Dad:

No.

Friend:

Chocolate?

Dad:

Coffee.

Palate Status

STRAIGHTFORWARD.

The Mug Collection

Partner:

You have enough mugs.

Dad:

Define enough.

Partner:

The cabinet doesn’t close.

Dad:

Cabinet issue.

Partner:

There are mugs on the counter.

Dad:

Counter storage.

Partner:

You don’t need another one.

Dad holds up Superdad mug.

Partner:

Fine.

That one stays.

Collection Status

EXCEPTION: GRANTED.

Superdad Black Mug

Perfect for:

Dads.

New dads.

First-time dads.

Expecting dads.

Girl dads.

Boy dads.

Dads of daughters.

Dads of sons.

Stepdads.

Bonus dads.

Foster dads.

Adoptive dads.

Grandpas with serious dad energy.

Husbands.

Partners.

Coffee-loving dads.

Tea-drinking dads.

Hot-cocoa dads.

Early-morning dads.

School-drop-off dads.

Work-from-home dads.

Office dads.

Weekend-project dads.

DIY dads.

Handyman dads.

Mechanic dads.

Grill-master dads.

Lawn-care dads.

Tech-support dads.

Router-restarting dads.

Spider-removing dads.

Thermostat-guarding dads.

Light-switch-monitoring dads.

Garage-organizing dads.

Cable-saving dads.

Tool-collecting dads.

Hardware-store dads.

Road-trip dads.

Car-packing dads.

Movie-sleeping dads.

“I’m not sleeping” dads.

“I’m resting my eyes” dads.

Dad-joke dads.

Dads who say:

“Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.”

Dads who say it every single time.

Dads who know everyone hates it.

Dads who consider that encouragement.

Dads who show up.

Dads who help.

Dads who teach.

Dads who listen.

Dads who protect.

Dads who encourage.

Dads who solve problems.

Dads who don’t know the answer but figure it out anyway.

Dads who have earned a quiet cup of coffee.

Dads who probably won’t get a quiet cup of coffee.

People looking for a Father’s Day mug.

People looking for a dad birthday gift.

People looking for a first Father’s Day gift.

People looking for a new dad gift.

People looking for a funny dad mug.

People looking for a coffee mug for Dad.

People looking for a gift from daughter to dad.

People looking for a gift from son to dad.

People looking for a husband Father’s Day gift.

People looking for a Christmas gift for Dad.

People looking for a Superdad gift.

And anyone searching for a simple way to remind Dad:

THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DO EVERY DAY MATTER MORE THAN YOU THINK.

Because being Superdad isn’t really about fixing everything.

It isn’t about knowing everything.

It isn’t about never making mistakes.

And it definitely isn’t about wearing spandex.

It’s about showing up.

Trying.

Helping.

Teaching.

Listening.

Protecting.

Supporting.

Making people laugh.

Being there when somebody needs you.

And occasionally restoring the Wi-Fi before civilization collapses.

Those things might not make comic-book headlines.

But to the people who call him Dad?

They’re heroic enough.

So pour the coffee.

Raise the mug.

Activate the dad powers.

And get ready for another day of saving the household…

one sip at a time.

SUPERDAD.

HERO OF THE HOUSEHOLD.

DEFENDER OF THE THERMOSTAT.

MASTER OF THE GRILL.

RESTORER OF WI-FI.

TELLER OF TERRIBLE JOKES.

FUELED BY COFFEE.

Superdad Final Caffeine-Powered Hero Status Report

IDENTITY: DAD.

SECRET IDENTITY: STILL DAD.

MUG: BLACK CERAMIC.

FINISH: GLOSSY.

SIZE OPTION ONE: 11 OZ.

SIZE OPTION TWO: 15 OZ.

SUPERDAD DESIGN: PRESENT.

COMIC-INSPIRED LETTERING: BOLD.

COFFEE: ACCEPTED.

TEA: ACCEPTED.

HOT COCOA: ACCEPTED.

MORNING: ACTIVE.

DAD: TECHNICALLY AWAKE.

CAFFEINE: LOADING.

FIRST SIP: COMPLETE.

DAD POWERS: ACTIVATING.

SECOND SIP: COMPLETE.

VISION: IMPROVING.

THIRD SIP: COMPLETE.

PROBLEM-SOLVING: ONLINE.

DAD JOKES: UNFORTUNATELY AT FULL POWER.

JAR OPENING: READY.

SPIDER REMOVAL: READY.

WI-FI REPAIR: READY.

ROUTER RESTART: READY.

THERMOSTAT: SECURE.

UNNECESSARY LIGHTS: DETECTED.

FRONT DOOR: PLEASE CLOSE IT.

NEIGHBORHOOD: NOT BEING HEATED TODAY.

ELECTRIC BILL: STILL ARCHNEMESIS.

TOOLS: NUMEROUS.

NEED FOR MORE TOOLS: APPARENTLY YES.

RANDOM CABLES: SAVED.

MYSTERY SCREWS: SAVED.

QUESTIONABLE BATTERIES: SAVED.

GARAGE: HEADQUARTERS.

GRILL: READY.

TONGS: CLICKED TWICE.

SAFETY CHECK: COMPLETE.

BURGERS: READY WHEN DAD SAYS THEY’RE READY.

LAWN: MONITORED.

HOME PROJECT: SOMEHOW GETTING LARGER.

INSTRUCTIONS: PARTIALLY READ.

EXTRA PARTS: DECLARED “EXTRAS.”

FAMILY: SKEPTICAL.

PROJECT: SOMEHOW WORKING.

SCHOOL DROP-OFF: SURVIVED.

ROAD TRIP: PREPARED.

GPS: QUESTIONED.

WRONG TURN: RECLASSIFIED AS SCENIC ROUTE.

MOVIE: SELECTED.

DAD DURING MOVIE: ASLEEP.

OFFICIAL DAD STATEMENT: RESTING EYES.

DAD JOKE: DEPLOYED.

FAMILY GROAN: ACHIEVED.

DAD SATISFACTION: MAXIMUM.

CHILDREN: LOVED.

FAMILY: SUPPORTED.

HELP: AVAILABLE.

ADVICE: AVAILABLE.

HUGS: AVAILABLE.

COFFEE REFILL: PROBABLY NEEDED.

FATHER’S DAY STATUS: GIFT-READY.

BIRTHDAY STATUS: GIFT-READY.

NEW DAD STATUS: GIFT-READY.

SUPERDAD STATUS: CONFIRMED.

CAPE: STILL OPTIONAL.

SPandex: STILL A TERRIBLE IDEA.

CURRENT STATUS: FUELED FOR ANOTHER DAY OF DAD DUTY.

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