Take Me to Your Dealer – Unisex T-Shirt – Funny Alien Stoner Shirt – 420 Humor – UFO

ALIEN STATUS: ABDUCTED.

HOME PLANET: UNKNOWN.

EYES: BLOODSHOT.

BLUNT: LIT.

GALACTIC GPS: CONFUSED.

EARTH’S INTELLIGENT LIFE: QUESTIONABLE.

MISSION: FIND THE DEALER.

FIRST CONTACT MESSAGE: TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER.

WE COME IN PEACE. WE LEAVE WITH THE MUNCHIES.

For centuries, humanity has wondered what extraterrestrials might say when they finally arrive on Earth.

“Take me to your leader”?

“Greetings, Earthlings”?

“We have traveled across the galaxy to share our advanced technology”?

Yeah, apparently not.

This alien has a different mission.

A much more relaxed mission.

A mission involving a bloodshot stare, a suspiciously large blunt, and one very specific request:

“TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER.”

Introducing the Take Me to Your Dealer Unisex T-Shirt, a hilarious alien stoner graphic tee featuring a wide-eyed, bloodshot extraterrestrial enjoying a smoke break somewhere between Earth and the outer reaches of the universe.

It’s the classic alien invasion joke with a distinctly 420-friendly twist.

No ray guns.

No world domination.

No demands to surrender Earth’s governments.

Just one extremely baked-looking visitor who apparently traveled several light-years to investigate our local cannabis culture.

PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.

Whether you’re into UFO sightings, sci-fi comedy, alien conspiracies, cannabis humor, or graphic tees that make strangers do a double-take, this shirt brings together the perfect combination of cosmic weirdness and unapologetic stoner comedy.

Because sometimes the truth isn’t out there.

SOMETIMES IT’S AT THE END OF A BLUNT.

Why You’ll Love It

• Hilarious Alien Stoner Graphic – Features a bloodshot-eyed extraterrestrial smoking a blunt, delivering instant out-of-this-world comedy.
• Classic Sci-Fi Joke With a 420 Twist – “Take Me to Your Dealer” turns the familiar alien greeting into an unforgettable cannabis-themed punchline.
• Perfect for Alien and UFO Fans – Ideal for anyone fascinated by extraterrestrials, flying saucers, Area 51, and the possibility that we’re not alone.
• Bold, Unapologetic Stoner Humor – A funny graphic tee for adults who appreciate weed jokes, counterculture humor, and a little cosmic mischief.
• Fun Everyday Unisex Style – Great for casual hangouts, concerts, festivals, game nights, sci-fi marathons, and relaxed weekends.
• Instant Conversation Starter – Because a bloodshot alien smoking a blunt is not exactly subtle.
• Funny Gift for the Right Person – A memorable birthday, holiday, or 420-themed gift for friends who love aliens, cannabis culture, and ridiculous humor.

First Contact

Alien:

GREETINGS, EARTHLING.

Human:

OH MY GOD.

Alien:

I COME IN PEACE.

Human:

ARE YOU REAL?!

Alien:

YES.

Human:

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Alien:

TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER.

First Contact Status

NOT WHAT NASA EXPECTED.

The Government Interview

Agent:

State your name.

Alien:

ZORBLAX.

Agent:

Planet of origin?

Alien:

GLIESE SOMETHING.

Agent:

Purpose of visit?

Alien:

RESEARCH.

Agent:

What kind of research?

Alien:

BOTANICAL.

Investigation Status

SUSPICIOUSLY RELAXED.

The Alien Invasion

General:

THE SHIPS ARE LANDING!

Soldier:

WE’RE SURROUNDED!

General:

PREPARE FOR CONTACT!

Spaceship door opens.

Alien:

HEY, MAN.

General:

…

Alien:

YOU KNOW A GUY?

Invasion Status

THREAT LEVEL: CHILL.

The Alien’s Mission Briefing

Commander:

Your assignment is simple.

Travel to Earth.

Study human civilization.

Evaluate their technological progress.

Report your findings.

Alien:

GOT IT.

Commander:

Any questions?

Alien:

DO THEY HAVE SNACKS?

Mission Status

QUESTIONABLE PRIORITIES.

The UFO Landing

Witness:

I SAW A FLYING SAUCER!

Friend:

What happened?!

Witness:

IT LANDED IN MY BACKYARD!

Friend:

AND?!

Witness:

AN ALIEN GOT OUT!

Friend:

WHAT DID IT SAY?!

Witness:

ASKED WHERE THE DISPENSARY WAS.

UFO Sighting Status

UNEXPECTEDLY SPECIFIC.

The Galactic GPS

GPS:

You have arrived at Earth.

Alien:

COOL.

GPS:

What is your destination?

Alien:

THE DEALER.

GPS:

Searching…

Alien:

TAKE YOUR TIME.

Navigation Status

COSMICALLY CONFUSED.

The Alien at the Gas Station

Cashier:

Can I help you?

Alien:

YES.

Cashier:

What do you need?

Alien:

SNACKS.

Cashier:

Anything else?

Alien:

MORE SNACKS.

Convenience Store Status

INVENTORY DEPLETING.

The Munchies

Alien:

I’M HUNGRY.

Human:

What do you want?

Alien:

PIZZA.

Human:

Okay.

Alien:

TACOS.

Human:

Okay.

Alien:

NACHOS.

Human:

Anything else?

Alien:

YES.

Appetite Status

GALACTIC.

The Pizza Delivery

Driver:

Large pepperoni?

Alien:

YES.

Driver:

Extra cheese?

Alien:

YES.

Driver:

Garlic bread?

Alien:

YES.

Driver:

Anything else?

Alien:

DO YOU DELIVER TO MARS?

Delivery Status

OUTSIDE SERVICE AREA.

The Alien at Taco Tuesday

Human:

Want a taco?

Alien:

WHAT IS TACO?

Human:

Delicious food in a tortilla.

Alien:

INTERESTING.

Human:

Try one.

Alien takes bite.

Alien:

…

EARTH IS AMAZING.

Cultural Exchange Status

SUCCESSFUL.

The Alien’s First Movie Night

Human:

Want to watch a movie?

Alien:

YES.

Human:

Science fiction?

Alien:

SURE.

Movie shows alien invasion.

Alien:

…

Human:

What?

Alien:

THAT’S NOT HOW OUR SHIPS WORK.

Entertainment Status

SCIENTIFICALLY OFFENDED.

The Alien Watches a UFO Documentary

Narrator:

Could extraterrestrials already be among us?

Alien:

YES.

Narrator:

Are they watching humanity?

Alien:

SOMETIMES.

Narrator:

What do they want?

Alien:

PIZZA.

Documentary Status

MYSTERY SOLVED.

The Area 51 Tour

Tourist:

Do you think aliens are really here?

Friend:

Who knows?

Alien standing nearby:

PROBABLY.

Tourist:

What?

Alien:

NOTHING.

Secrecy Status

COMPROMISED.

The Alien Conspiracy Theorist

Conspiracy Theorist:

THE GOVERNMENT IS HIDING ALIENS!

Alien:

HEY.

Theorist:

AHHH!

Alien:

RELAX, MAN.

Theorist:

YOU’RE REAL?!

Alien:

YEP.

Theorist:

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Alien:

READ MY SHIRT.

Conspiracy Status

CONFIRMED IN THIS PARTICULAR FICTIONAL SCENARIO.

The Alien at the Music Festival

Friend:

You like the music?

Alien:

YES.

Friend:

You like the lights?

Alien:

YES.

Friend:

You having fun?

Alien:

I CAN FEEL THE BASS IN MY ANTENNAE.

Festival Status

INTERGALACTIC VIBES.

The Alien’s Playlist

TRACK ONE: Space Oddity.

TRACK TWO: Something Psychedelic.

TRACK THREE: Weird Electronic Noises.

TRACK FOUR: More Weird Electronic Noises.

TRACK FIVE: A 47-Minute Ambient Space Jam.

Human:

Is this music?

Alien:

YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.

Playlist Status

OTHERWORLDLY.

The Alien at Work

Boss:

You’re late.

Alien:

TIME IS RELATIVE.

Boss:

Your shift started at nine.

Alien:

TIME IS A HUMAN CONSTRUCT.

Boss:

You’re fired.

Alien:

FAIR.

Employment Status

SHORT-LIVED.

The Alien’s Job Interview

Interviewer:

What are your strengths?

Alien:

ADVANCED INTELLIGENCE.

Interviewer:

Weaknesses?

Alien:

SNACKS.

Interviewer:

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Alien:

PROBABLY ON A COUCH.

Career Status

AMBITIOUSLY UNAMBITIOUS.

The Alien’s Scientific Discovery

Scientist:

What have you learned about Earth?

Alien:

HUMANS ARE STRANGE.

Scientist:

Anything else?

Alien:

THEY WORK TOO MUCH.

Scientist:

And?

Alien:

THEY HAVE EXCELLENT SNACKS.

Research Status

PEER REVIEW PENDING.

The Alien’s Message Home

Commander:

Report your findings.

Alien:

EARTH IS INTERESTING.

Commander:

Explain.

Alien:

THEY HAVE PIZZA.

Commander:

And?

Alien:

MUSIC.

Commander:

And?

Alien:

A PLANT THEY’RE VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

Mission Report

INCOMPLETE BUT ENTHUSIASTIC.

The Alien’s Philosophy

Human:

What’s the meaning of life?

Alien:

GOOD QUESTION.

Human:

Do you know?

Alien:

MAYBE.

Human:

WELL?!

Alien:

HAVE YOU TRIED JUST ENJOYING YOUR PIZZA?

Wisdom Status

UNEXPECTEDLY SIMPLE.

The Alien’s Fitness Routine

Trainer:

Ready for cardio?

Alien:

NO.

Trainer:

Weights?

Alien:

NO.

Trainer:

Yoga?

Alien:

MAYBE.

Trainer:

What’s your fitness goal?

Alien:

REACHING THE REMOTE WITHOUT GETTING UP.

Fitness Status

MINIMAL EFFORT.

The Alien’s Dating Profile

NAME: Zorblax.

AGE: Classified.

HEIGHT: Depends on gravity.

INTERESTS: Space travel, snacks, questionable decisions.

LOOKING FOR: Someone who knows a guy.

Romance Status

COMPLICATED.

The First Date

Date:

So where are you from?

Alien:

FAR AWAY.

Date:

How far?

Alien:

VERY.

Date:

What do you do for fun?

Alien:

STARE AT THE STARS.

Date:

That’s romantic.

Alien:

I’M TRYING TO REMEMBER WHERE I PARKED.

Date Status

PROMISING BUT CONFUSED.

The Alien’s Weekend

Friday:

RELAX.

Saturday:

RELAX HARDER.

Sunday:

PANIC ABOUT MONDAY.

Weekend Status

SURPRISINGLY HUMAN.

The Gift for the Stoner Friend

Friend:

You got me a shirt?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

AN ALIEN?!

You:

Yep.

Friend:

SMOKING A BLUNT?!

You:

Yep.

Friend reads message.

Friend:

TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER?!

You:

Yep.

Friend:

THIS IS HILARIOUS.

Gift Status

COSMIC SUCCESS.

The Gift for the UFO Enthusiast

Recipient:

Is that an alien?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Bloodshot eyes?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Smoking a blunt?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

And asking for a dealer?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

FINALLY, SOME REALISTIC SCI-FI.

UFO Fan Status

DELIGHTED.

The Gift for the Sci-Fi Fan

Friend:

I love the alien graphic.

You:

Thanks.

Friend:

Classic extraterrestrial look.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

With a very different first-contact message.

You:

Exactly.

Sci-Fi Status

APPROVED.

The Gift for the Festival Friend

Friend:

This is perfect for the next concert.

You:

Thought you’d like it.

Friend:

The alien looks more relaxed than I do.

You:

That’s saying something.

Festival Status

READY.

The Gift for the Friend Who Loves Weird Shirts

Friend:

What is that?

You:

An alien.

Friend:

Smoking?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

And asking for a dealer?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

That’s so stupid.

You:

I know.

Friend:

I LOVE IT.

Friendship Status

EXCELLENT.

Take Me to Your Dealer Unisex T-Shirt

Perfect for:

Alien enthusiasts.

UFO believers.

UFO skeptics with a sense of humor.

Science fiction fans.

Area 51 enthusiasts.

Extraterrestrial conspiracy fans.

People who love alien graphics.

People who appreciate adult stoner humor.

Cannabis culture enthusiasts.

420 humor fans.

People who love funny graphic tees.

People who love outrageous puns.

People who appreciate classic sci-fi references.

People who love cosmic comedy.

People who enjoy absurd humor.

People who collect weird shirts.

People who love festival fashion.

People who enjoy concerts.

People who appreciate counterculture humor.

People who love psychedelic-inspired jokes.

People who have watched too many alien documentaries.

People who have theories about UFO sightings.

People who believe the truth is out there.

People who believe the snacks are in here.

People who enjoy ridiculous conversation starters.

People who like bold, cheeky graphics.

People looking for a funny alien shirt.

People looking for a stoner humor T-shirt.

People looking for a 420-themed gift.

People looking for a UFO graphic tee.

People looking for a funny cannabis culture shirt.

People looking for a blunt-smoking alien shirt.

People looking for a sci-fi gag gift.

People looking for a birthday gift for a stoner friend.

People looking for an adult humor graphic tee.

And anyone who believes that if extraterrestrials ever visit Earth, their first words might be a little less sophisticated than humanity expects.

Because maybe aliens aren’t interested in conquering Earth.

Maybe they’re not here to steal our resources.

Maybe they’re not planning to replace world leaders.

Maybe they’re not even particularly impressed by our technology.

Maybe they traveled across the universe, studied our civilization, and came to one simple conclusion:

EARTH HAS SOME INTERESTING PLANTS.

And one of them decided to investigate.

With a blunt.

A bloodshot stare.

And absolutely no shame.

TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER.

ALIEN: PRESENT.

EYES: RED.

BLUNT: LIT.

ANTENNAE: TUNED IN.

UFO: DOUBLE-PARKED.

MISSION: QUESTIONABLE.

MUNCHIES: INCOMING.

Final Intergalactic Stoner Mission Status Report

SPECIES: EXTRATERRESTRIAL.

HOME PLANET: CLASSIFIED.

EYES: BLOODSHOT.

EXPRESSION: EXTREMELY RELAXED.

BLUNT: PRESENT.

SMOKE: DETECTED.

UFO: PARKED.

GALACTIC GPS: CONFUSED.

EARTHLING CONTACT: ESTABLISHED.

FIRST WORDS: TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER.

WORLD DOMINATION: POSTPONED.

INTERGALACTIC DIPLOMACY: UNCONVENTIONAL.

NASA: NOTIFIED IN THIS FICTIONAL UNIVERSE.

AREA 51: SUSPICIOUS.

CONSPIRACY THEORISTS: EXCITED.

MUNCHIES: ACTIVATED.

PIZZA: ORDERED.

TACOS: REQUESTED.

NACHOS: APPROVED.

SNACK SUPPLY: INSUFFICIENT.

SPACE TRAVEL: COMPLETED.

EARTH RESEARCH: ONGOING.

CANNABIS HUMOR: MAXIMUM.

SCI-FI COMEDY: MAXIMUM.

420 ENERGY: MAXIMUM.

GIFT POTENTIAL: OUT OF THIS WORLD.

CURRENT STATUS: HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE, COSMICALLY CONFUSED, AND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS A GUY.

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This heavy cotton tee has the classic cotton look and feel. Casual elegance will make it an instant favorite in everyone’s wardrobe.

.: Classic fit

.: 100% Cotton (fibre content may vary for different colors)

.: Light fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))

.: Tear away label

.: Runs true to size

 

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Width, in	18.00	20.00	22.00	24.00	26.00	28.00	30.00	32.00
Length, in	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00	35.00
Sleeve length (from center back), in	15.10	16.50	18.00	19.50	21.00	22.40	23.70	25.00
Size tolerance, in	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50	1.50

 

Weight	N/A