Vandelay Industries – Baby Bodysuit – Seinfeld Inspired – George Costanza Baby Outfit

COMPANY: VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

DEPARTMENT: NURSERY OPERATIONS.

POSITION: JUNIOR IMPORT/EXPORT SPECIALIST.

IMPORTING: MILK.

EXPORTING: DIAPERS.

EXPERIENCE: ZERO YEARS.

QUALIFICATIONS: QUESTIONABLE.

EMPLOYEE: ADORABLE.

CEO: PROBABLY ART VANDELAY.

Welcome the newest employee of Vandelay Industries.

They can’t walk.

They can’t talk.

They have absolutely no understanding of international commerce.

But frankly…

Neither does anyone else at Vandelay Industries.

The Vandelay Industries Baby Bodysuit features a professional-style company logo inspired by George Costanza’s famously fictional business from Seinfeld.

It’s perfect for the newest member of a Seinfeld-loving family and any baby ready to begin an exciting career in importing, exporting, latex, architecture, or whatever Art Vandelay claims the company does this week.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Vandelay Industries Design – Inspired by George Costanza’s wonderfully fabricated company from Seinfeld.
• Newest Employee Humor – Your baby may have no business experience whatsoever, which actually makes them surprisingly qualified.
• Perfect for Seinfeld Families – Pass one of television’s greatest running jokes down to the next generation.
• Import/Export Nursery Division – Importing bottles and exporting diapers is practically a full-time job.
• Instant Sitcom Recognition – Fellow Seinfeld fans will understand the reference immediately.
• Baby Shower Conversation Starter – Expect at least one person to ask what Vandelay Industries actually does.
• Great Gift for Seinfeld Fans – Perfect for baby showers, new arrivals, expecting parents, gaming—or rather sitcom—dads and moms, and anyone raising a tiny Costanza fan.

Vandelay Industries

Now hiring.

Position

Junior Import/Export Specialist.

Candidate

Baby.

Interviewer

Tell us about your experience.

Baby

GA.

Interviewer

Excellent.

Interviewer

What are your qualifications?

Baby

Spits up.

Interviewer

Interesting.

Interviewer

When can you start?

Baby

Immediately.

HR

You’re hired.

Employment Standards

Extremely flexible.

First Day

8:00 A.M.

Employee

Already awake.

Manager

Excellent initiative.

Parent

They’ve been awake since 4:30.

Manager

Even better.

Employee

Demands bottle.

Manager

Strong communication skills.

Parent

That’s one interpretation.

Employee File

Name:

Baby.

Occupation:

Importer / Exporter.

Imports:

Milk.

Formula.

Pureed peas.

Bananas.

Whatever was on floor.

Parent

NO.

Baby

Too late.

Exports:

Burps.

Spit-up.

Diapers.

Noise.

Missing socks.

Productivity

Outstanding.

Parent Morale

Declining.

The Import Department

Bottle arrives.

Baby

Imports entire shipment.

Parent

That was fast.

Baby

Next shipment.

Parent

You just ate.

Baby

International demand.

Parent

You’re six months old.

Baby

Business never sleeps.

Neither Do Parents.

The Export Department

Parent:

Clean diaper.

Baby

Excellent.

Parent

We’re good.

Baby

Begins exporting.

Parent

Don’t.

Baby

Export complete.

Parent

I literally just changed you.

Baby

Supply chain.

Parent

That’s not what supply chain means.

Baby

Next shipment pending.

Parent

Please stop doing business.

Vandelay Industries

Record profits.

The Resume

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES

Junior Import/Export Specialist.

Responsibilities

Bottle acquisition.

Milk importing.

Diaper exporting.

Sock disappearance.

Toy redistribution.

Nap avoidance.

Parent management.

Skills

Crying.

Rolling.

Drooling.

Grabbing.

Demand generation.

Negotiation.

Escalation.

References

Art Vandelay.

Recruiter

Can we contact him?

Baby

GA.

Recruiter

I’ll take that as no.

The Phone Call

RING.

Parent

Hello?

Caller

Is this Vandelay Industries?

Parent

Looks at baby.

Baby

Stares back.

Parent

Yes.

Caller

I’d like speak with Art Vandelay.

Parent

One moment.

Parent

Whispers.

Who is Art Vandelay?

Baby

Laughs.

Parent

You’re no help.

Caller

Hello?

Parent

He’s importing.

Caller

When will he return?

Parent

After nap?

Baby

Immediately starts crying.

Parent

Actually, nap has been canceled.

Corporate Communications

Challenging.

The CEO

Art Vandelay.

Actual Location

Unknown.

Current Position

Possibly architect.

Possibly importer.

Possibly exporter.

Nursery Position

Apparently executive management.

Baby

Regional Vice President.

Parent

Of what?

Baby

GA.

Parent

Fair enough.

The Architecture Division

Baby builds tower.

Block.

Block.

Block.

Parent

Look at that!

Baby

Adds fourth block.

Parent

Architect!

Baby

Knocks entire thing down.

Parent

Demolition contractor.

Career Change

Immediate.

George Costanza

Would understand.

The Latex Division

Baby discovers rubber duck.

Parent

Technically not necessarily latex.

Baby

Chews it.

Parent

Definitely not corporate procedure.

Vandelay Industries

No employee handbook available.

Tummy Time

Manager:

How’s project progressing?

Baby

Lifts head.

Manager

Excellent.

Baby

Head down.

Manager

Take your time.

Baby

Lifts head again.

Parent

Great job!

Baby

Rolls sideways.

Parent

YOU ROLLED!

Achievement

Promoted.

Baby

Confused.

HR

Performance exceeds expectations.

The Performance Review

Manager:

What accomplishments are you most proud of?

Baby

Roll.

Manager

Excellent.

Baby

Grab foot.

Manager

Impressive.

Baby

Remove sock.

Manager

Innovative.

Baby

Lose sock.

Manager

Leadership potential.

Parent

WHERE DO THE SOCKS GO?

Vandelay Industries

Trade secret.

The Missing Sock Department

Sock One:

Present.

Sock Two:

Missing.

Parent

Again?

Baby

No comment.

Parent

You had two socks five minutes ago.

Baby

International export.

Parent

To where?

Baby

Confidential.

Parent

Is Art Vandelay involved?

Baby

Smiles.

Investigation

Ongoing.

The Nap Department

Parent:

Nap time.

Baby

Request denied.

Parent

You’re tired.

Baby

No.

Parent

You’re yawning.

Baby

Unrelated.

Parent

Your eyes are closing.

Baby

Corporate restructuring.

Parent

Go to sleep.

Baby

Schedules meeting.

Parent

With whom?

Baby

Everyone.

Parent

It’s 2:00 A.M.

Baby

Global company.

Different time zones.

Parent

I can’t argue with this.

The Crib

Baby placed down.

Parent

Slowly walks away.

One Step.

Two Steps.

Three Steps.

Baby

Eyes open.

Parent

No.

Baby

Meeting resumed.

Parent

I resigned.

Baby

Resignation denied.

Parent

You can’t do that.

Baby

CEO approval.

Parent

Art Vandelay isn’t real!

Baby

Neither is sleep.

Parent

Fair.

The Pacifier

Baby drops it.

Parent

Picks it up.

Baby

Drops it.

Parent

Picks it up.

Baby

Drops it.

Parent

Is this game?

Baby

No.

Parent

Then why?

Baby

Employee training.

Parent

Who’s being trained?

Baby

You.

Management Strategy

Effective.

The Toy

Parent hands toy.

Baby

Drops toy.

Parent retrieves toy.

Baby

Drops toy.

Parent

Again?

Baby

Again.

Parent

How many times?

Baby

Quarterly target:

Forty-seven.

Parent

We’re ahead schedule.

Baby

Excellent.

The High Chair

Today’s agenda:

Breakfast.

Parent

Spoon incoming.

Baby

Turns left.

Parent

Tries again.

Baby

Turns right.

Parent

Please open mouth.

Baby

No.

Parent

You liked this yesterday.

Baby

Market conditions changed.

Parent

It’s applesauce.

Baby

Consumer preferences evolved.

Parent

You’re impossible.

Baby

Management material.

The Floor

Receives most breakfast.

Export Department

Again outperforming.

Crawling

Baby moves backward.

Parent

Almost!

Baby

Moves sideways.

Parent

Close!

Baby

Eventually moves forward.

Parent

YOU DID IT!

Baby

Immediately crawls toward electrical cord.

Parent

NO.

Baby

Strategic acquisition target.

Parent

Absolutely not.

Baby

Negotiations?

Parent

There are no negotiations.

Baby

Cries.

Parent

Fine, here’s toy.

Baby

Negotiation successful.

Corporate Strategy

Advanced.

The Remote Control

Baby sees it.

Baby

Target acquired.

Parent

No.

Baby

Reaches.

Parent

Here’s toy remote.

Baby

Insulted.

Parent

They’re basically same.

Baby

Absolutely not.

Market Research

Baby knows.

The Phone

Parent’s phone.

Baby

Wants it.

Parent

Here’s toy phone.

Baby

No.

Parent

How can you tell?

Baby

Quality control.

Parent

You can’t even speak.

Baby

Standards.

The Laptop

Parent working.

Baby

Approaches.

Parent

No.

Baby

Touches keyboard.

Computer

Deletes paragraph.

Parent

How?

Baby

IT department.

Parent

Undo.

Baby

Touches keyboard again.

Computer

Opens seventeen windows.

Parent

You’re promoted.

The Work-From-Home Meeting

Parent on video call.

Baby

Silent.

Parent

This is going great.

Manager

As I was saying—

Baby

WAAAAAAAA.

Parent

And there’s junior executive.

Manager

Cute.

Baby

Continues.

Manager

Very vocal.

Parent

Leadership.

Baby

Joins meeting.

Entire Team

Awwww.

Productivity

Immediately ends.

The Corporate Headshot

Baby wearing Vandelay Industries bodysuit.

Parent

Smile!

Baby

Serious expression.

Parent

Perfect.

LinkedIn Profile

Ready.

Experience

Six months.

Management Experience

Also six months.

Education

Currently studying object permanence.

Specialization

Import/export.

References

Available upon request.

Unless request is from unemployment office.

The Baby Shower

Gift table:

Blankets.

Bottles.

Diapers.

Stuffed animals.

One Package

Vandelay Industries bodysuit.

Seinfeld Fan Parent

Opens it.

Immediate Laughter

Everyone Else

What’s Vandelay Industries?

Parent

Sit down.

Story Time

Begins.

Five Minutes Later

Grandma

So company isn’t real?

Parent

Correct.

Grandma

And Art Vandelay isn’t real?

Parent

Correct.

Grandma

And George doesn’t work there?

Parent

Correct.

Grandma

Why is baby employee?

Parent

Legacy hire.

Grandma

Makes sense.

The Family Photo

Mom.

Dad.

Baby.

Baby

Vandelay Industries employee.

Relative

Cute outfit.

Dad

They’re in importing.

Mom

And exporting.

Relative

Of what?

Both Parents

Diapers.

Relative

Walks away.

Parenting Humor

Successful.

The Seinfeld Fan Grandparent

Sees bodysuit.

Grandpa

Vandelay Industries!

Parent

You know it?

Grandpa

Of course.

Parent

I didn’t know you watched Seinfeld.

Grandpa

Who do you think showed you?

Family Lore

Updated.

The Non-Seinfeld Relative

What does shirt mean?

Parent

It’s fictional company from Seinfeld.

Relative

Oh.

Parent

George invented it.

Relative

Why?

Parent

How much time do you have?

Relative

Five minutes.

Parent

Not enough.

The New Parent

Before baby:

I run household.

After baby:

Baby runs household.

Baby

Meeting at 3:00 A.M.

Parent

Declined.

Baby

Mandatory.

Parent

Can we reschedule?

Baby

No.

Parent

Can Art Vandelay attend instead?

Baby

He’s busy exporting.

Parent

Of course.

The Employee Benefits Package

Milk.

Naps.

Toys.

Unlimited cuddles.

Vacation

Every day.

Sick Leave

Also every day.

Work Hours

Whenever baby decides.

Retirement Plan

Toddlerhood.

Parent

That doesn’t sound easier.

HR

It isn’t.

The Corporate Ladder

Newborn.

Infant.

Crawler.

Walker.

Toddler.

Parent

What’s after that?

HR

Chaos.

Parent

That’s already current position.

HR

More chaos.

Parent

Great.

The First Word

Parent hopes:

Mama.

Dada.

Vandelay Industries Parent

Vandelay.

Other Parent

Absolutely not.

Baby

Ba.

Vandelay Parent

Almost.

Other Parent

Stop.

The First Steps

Baby stands.

Parent

Come here!

Baby

Step.

Step.

Wobble.

Sit.

Parent

YOU DID IT!

Baby

Again.

Achievement Unlocked

MOBILITY.

HR

Promotion approved.

Parent

Wait.

Baby

Walks toward forbidden object.

Parent

We have made terrible mistake.

Baby

Executive privileges.

The Future Career Day

Teacher:

What does your parent do?

Child

Import/export.

Teacher

Interesting.

What company?

Child

Vandelay Industries.

Parent

Gets mysterious chill.

Legacy

Complete.

The Gift

The Vandelay Industries Baby Bodysuit makes a hilarious gift for:

Seinfeld fans.

George Costanza fans.

Art Vandelay enthusiasts.

Classic sitcom fans.

90s television fans.

Comedy-loving parents.

Expecting parents.

New moms.

New dads.

Sitcom moms.

Sitcom dads.

TV collectors becoming parents.

Office-comedy fans.

Fake architects.

Imaginary importers.

Questionable exporters.

Latex-salesman enthusiasts.

Baby shower shoppers.

Funny aunts.

Funny uncles.

Sitcom-loving grandparents.

Parents who quote Seinfeld constantly.

Families raising next generation of sitcom fans.

People who hate boring baby gifts.

People who appreciate obscure inside jokes.

And anyone who thinks every newborn deserves strong fictional employment history.

Baby shower?

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

Newborn photos?

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

Family pictures?

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

Tummy time?

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

Nap time?

Application denied.

Vandelay Industries Nursery Division

COMPANY: FICTIONAL.

EMPLOYEE: VERY REAL.

POSITION: JUNIOR EXECUTIVE.

EXPERIENCE: NONE.

QUALIFICATIONS: ADORABLE.

ART VANDELAY: SUPERVISOR.

GEORGE COSTANZA: RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

IMPORTING: MILK.

EXPORTING: DIAPERS.

LATEX: TBD.

ARCHITECTURE: BLOCK TOWERS.

CORPORATE COMMUNICATION: CRYING.

NEGOTIATION: ADVANCED.

SOCK INVENTORY: UNRELIABLE.

NAP ATTENDANCE: POOR.

BOTTLE ACQUISITION: EXCELLENT.

DIAPER OUTPUT: RECORD BREAKING.

PARENT MANAGEMENT: MASTERED.

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH: BABY.

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES.

IMPORTING. EXPORTING. ADORABLE NONSENSE.

BECAUSE IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY TO START BUILDING A COMPLETELY FICTIONAL RESUME.

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Baby clothing needs to be both durable and soft. With the infant fine jersey bodysuit, youths get just that. The fabric is 100% cotton for solid colors. For heather colors, polyester is included. There are seams along the sides of this product. All bindings are made with ribbed knitting for improved durability. There are plastic snaps at the cross closure for easy changing access.

.: 100% Combed ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²))
.: Tear away label

	NB (0-3M)	6M	12M	18M	24M
Width, in	7.50	9.00	10.00	11.00	12.00
Length, in	10.75	11.76	12.75	13.75	14.75
Sleeve length, in	2.52	2.76	2.99	3.23	3.50

 

Weight	N/A