Wishing You a Scary Krampus – Unisex Sweatshirt – Dark Christmas Horror

TEMPERATURE: FALLING.

SNOW: DEEPENING.

SUN: GONE.

FOREST: DARK.

SWEATSHIRT: ON.

FLEECE: WARM.

BELLS: HEARD IN DISTANCE.

CHAINS: ALSO HEARD.

HORNS: POSSIBLY DETECTED.

NAUGHTY LIST: UNDER REVIEW.

SANTA: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

WISHING YOU A SCARY KRAMPUS.

There are cozy Christmas nights…

and then there are nights when the snow is falling, the wind is howling, something is moving between the trees, and the sound coming down the road definitely isn’t ordinary sleigh bells.

The Wishing You a Scary Krampus Unisex Sweatshirt combines cold-weather comfort with the sinister side of Christmas folklore.

Featuring a frightening Krampus design and the ominously festive greeting “Wishing You a Scary Krampus,” this fleece-lined pullover is made for horror fans, gothic Christmas enthusiasts, folklore lovers, Krampus devotees, and anyone who prefers their December traditions darker.

Warm and soft for those bitter winter nights, it delivers a comfortable unisex fit that’s perfect for Krampusnacht celebrations, alternative Christmas parties, horror movie marathons, winter festivals, cold-weather gatherings, or sitting beside the fireplace while wondering whether that rattling outside was actually just the wind.

Probably.

Maybe.

Don’t open the door.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Sinister Krampus Design – A frightening interpretation of the legendary horned figure from Alpine Christmas folklore.
• Dark Christmas Message – “Wishing You a Scary Krampus” transforms the traditional holiday greeting into something considerably more ominous.
• Fleece-Lined Warmth – Soft, cozy comfort for cold December nights, winter events, and late-night horror marathons.
• Comfortable Unisex Fit – Easygoing styling for anyone who prefers their Christmas wardrobe on the darker side.
• Made for Horror & Folklore Fans – Perfect for lovers of Krampus, winter legends, monsters, gothic imagery, and macabre holiday traditions.
• Alternative Christmas Style – A sinister escape from smiling snowmen, cheerful elves, dancing gingerbread men, and relentless holiday cheer.
• Perfect for the Naughty List – A memorable Christmas gift for horror lovers, goths, folklore enthusiasts, Krampus fans, and people who hear chains outside and know better than to investigate.

The Sweatshirt

Friend:

Nice Christmas sweatshirt.

You:

Thanks.

Friend:

Wait.

You:

What?

Friend:

Is that Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

That’s considerably less cheerful than I expected.

You:

That’s considerably more cheerful than I intended.

Friend:

Oh.

The Three-Stage Reaction

STAGE ONE:

“Christmas sweatshirt.”

STAGE TWO:

“Something seems wrong.”

STAGE THREE:

“IS THAT KRAMPUS?”

You:

Season’s greetings.

Cozy Meets Creepy

Friend:

Fleece-lined?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Warm?

You:

Very.

Friend:

Krampus?

You:

Also yes.

Friend:

That’s an unusual combination.

You:

Comfort outside.

Terror outside the window.

Friend:

I don’t like the second part.

You:

Then close the curtains.

December Night

TEMPERATURE: 19°.

SNOW: FALLING.

WIND: HOWLING.

SWEATSHIRT: WARM.

FIREPLACE: LIT.

HOUSE: QUIET.

FOREST: TOO QUIET.

Friend:

Why did you say “too quiet”?

You:

I didn’t.

Friend:

You absolutely did.

Outside:

CLANK.

Friend:

…

You:

Okay.

Now it’s too quiet.

The First Noise

CLANK.

Friend:

What was that?

You:

Probably nothing.

CLANK.

Friend:

That’s something.

You:

Wind?

Friend:

WIND DOESN’T HAVE CHAINS.

You:

Excellent point.

The Window

Friend:

I saw something.

You:

Where?

Friend:

Between the trees.

You:

Deer?

Friend:

Too tall.

You:

Bear?

Friend:

It had horns.

You:

…

Friend:

Why did your face change?

You:

No reason.

Friend:

YOUR SWEATSHIRT HAS THE SAME HORNS.

You:

Coincidence.

Friend:

I hate December now.

The Horns

Friend:

Those were definitely horns.

You:

Antlers?

Friend:

HORNS.

You:

Could still be—

Friend:

DON’T.

You:

Fine.

Friend:

Your sweatshirt suddenly feels less funny.

You:

Excellent.

The Chains

RATTLE.

Friend:

No.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

NO.

You:

Sounds like chains.

Friend:

STOP IDENTIFYING THE SOUNDS.

You:

Would you prefer uncertainty?

Friend:

YES.

The Bell

CLANG.

Friend:

Sleigh bell?

You:

Maybe.

RATTLE.

Friend:

Not sleigh bell.

You:

Definitely not sleigh bell.

Friend:

LOCK THE DOOR.

Christmas Eve Security Report

FRONT DOOR: LOCKED.

BACK DOOR: LOCKED.

WINDOWS: LOCKED.

CURTAINS: CLOSED.

FIREPLACE: ACTIVE.

CHIMNEY: UNFORTUNATELY OPEN.

SANTA: EXPECTED.

OTHER SEASONAL ENTITIES: NOT INVITED.

CHAINS OUTSIDE: CONCERNING.

Friend:

What do we do about the chimney?

You:

Don’t look at it.

Friend:

That’s your plan?

You:

Currently.

The Knock

KNOCK.

Friend:

No.

You:

Could be someone.

Friend:

Obviously it’s someone.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

You:

Should we answer?

Friend:

HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED A HORROR MOVIE?

You:

Fair.

Both:

Remain extremely quiet.

The Door

KNOCK.

Friend:

Maybe it’ll leave.

You:

Good plan.

CHAIN RATTLES.

Friend:

It has chains.

You:

Apparently.

Friend:

You know who has chains.

You:

I do.

Friend:

And you’re wearing him on your sweatshirt.

You:

The irony isn’t lost on me.

The Naughty List

Santa:

Checks list.

Santa:

Hmm.

Elf:

Problem?

Santa:

Maybe.

Elf:

Coal?

Santa:

Beyond coal.

Elf:

Oh.

Santa:

Yep.

Elf:

Should I get the other list?

Santa:

Already sent it.

Elf:

To who?

Santa:

You know.

Elf:

…

Santa:

Exactly.

The Other Department

Elf:

Where does this file go?

Santa:

Krampus.

Elf:

There’s a Krampus department?

Santa:

Technically.

Elf:

Who’s the manager?

Santa:

Krampus.

Elf:

HR?

Santa:

Krampus.

Elf:

Appeals?

Santa:

Absolutely not.

The Naughty List Audit

GOOD DEEDS: 17.

QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS: 31.

SHOPPING CARTS RETURNED: MOST.

COFFEE POTS REFILLED: USUALLY.

LAST COOKIE INCIDENT: STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION.

LAST SLICE OF PIZZA: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

TEXTS LEFT UNANSWERED: CONCERNING.

NAUGHTY STATUS: PENDING.

You:

“Pending” sounds promising.

Chains:

Rattle.

You:

Less promising.

The Appeal

You:

I’d like to appeal.

Santa:

Denied.

You:

You didn’t even read it.

Santa:

Not my department.

You:

Whose department?

Santa:

…

You:

Oh.

Santa:

Yep.

You:

Can I withdraw the appeal?

Santa:

Strongly recommended.

Krampus Appears

You:

I’d like to explain.

Krampus:

Stares.

You:

Some of these incidents lack context.

Krampus:

Stares.

You:

The pizza thing especially.

Krampus:

Chains rattle.

You:

Okay.

Bad example.

The Last Cookie

Coworker:

Who ate it?

Silence.

Coworker:

There was ONE cookie left.

You:

Looks around.

Coworker:

Was it you?

You:

No.

Chains:

Rattle faintly.

You:

…

Coworker:

Was it?

You:

YES.

IT WAS ME.

Coworker:

Thought so.

The Coffee Pot

You:

Takes last cup.

You:

Begins walking away.

Coworker:

You’re making another pot, right?

You:

…

Coworker:

Right?

Chains:

Rattle somewhere far away.

You:

I’M MAKING IT.

Coworker:

Excellent.

Krampus-Based Workplace Accountability

TAKE LAST COFFEE: ACCEPTABLE.

REFILL POT: REQUIRED.

FAIL TO REFILL POT: NAUGHTY.

SCHEDULE 7:30 A.M. MEETING: EXTREMELY NAUGHTY.

Boss:

That’s oddly specific.

You:

You know what you did.

The Shopping Cart

Friend:

Cart return is over there.

You:

It’s freezing.

Friend:

Return it.

You:

It’s twenty feet away.

Friend:

Exactly.

You:

I’m already at the car.

Friend:

Krampus.

You:

…

Friend:

Krampus.

You:

FINE.

Friend:

Character development.

The Parking Spot

Driver:

Steals spot.

You:

Seriously?

Friend:

Don’t worry.

You:

About what?

Friend:

December remembers.

You:

That’s ominous.

Friend:

I’ve been hanging around you too much.

Christmas Party

Friend:

Everyone’s wearing holiday sweaters.

You:

So am I.

Friend:

Those have reindeer.

You:

Okay.

Friend:

That one has Santa.

You:

Okay.

Friend:

That one has snowflakes.

You:

Okay.

Friend:

Yours has a horned nightmare from folklore.

You:

Variety is important.

The Party Lineup

SANTA.

SNOWMAN.

GINGERBREAD MAN.

REINDEER.

CHRISTMAS TREE.

KRAMPUS.

Friend:

One of these things is not like the others.

You:

Finally.

The Ugly Sweater Party

Host:

Great sweater.

You:

Sweatshirt.

Host:

Right.

Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Host:

Everyone else went funny.

You:

I went threatening.

Host:

I respect the commitment.

Holiday Contest

Contestant One:

Flashing lights.

Contestant Two:

Bells.

Contestant Three:

Tinsel.

You:

Ancient horned Christmas terror.

Judge:

…

You:

Too much?

Judge:

Not sure yet.

The Office Party

Boss:

Interesting sweatshirt.

You:

Thanks.

Boss:

“Wishing You a Scary Krampus.”

You:

Correct.

Boss:

Should I be concerned?

You:

Did you approve holiday bonuses?

Boss:

…

You:

I’ll let Krampus decide.

Boss:

That’s vaguely threatening.

You:

Seasonally threatening.

Office Naughty List

REPLY-ALL ABUSE: DOCUMENTED.

MICROWAVE FISH INCIDENT: DOCUMENTED.

PRINTER LEFT EMPTY: DOCUMENTED.

COFFEE POT LEFT EMPTY: DOCUMENTED.

8 A.M. FRIDAY MEETING: DOCUMENTED.

“QUICK CALL” LASTING 74 MINUTES: DOCUMENTED.

Coworker:

Krampus has been busy.

You:

December is performance-review season.

The Meeting

Boss:

Let’s start with a fun holiday icebreaker.

Everyone:

Groans.

Lights:

Flicker.

Chains:

Rattle.

Boss:

What was that?

You:

Accountability.

Boss:

Let’s skip the icebreaker.

Everyone:

Thank you, Krampus.

The Family Christmas

Grandma:

What’s on your sweatshirt?

You:

Krampus.

Grandma:

Who’s Krampus?

Mom:

Don’t ask.

Grandma:

Why?

Mom:

Because now we’re getting a folklore lecture.

You:

Glad you asked.

Grandma:

I’m listening.

Mom:

Here we go.

Ten Minutes Later

Grandma:

So this is part of Christmas folklore?

You:

Yep.

Grandma:

And he’s terrifying?

You:

That’s the idea.

Grandma:

Interesting.

Mom:

Please don’t encourage this.

Grandma:

I like the sweatshirt.

You:

Thanks, Grandma.

Mom:

Of course.

Christmas Dinner

Uncle:

Merry Christmas!

You:

Wishing you a Scary Krampus.

Uncle:

What?

You:

Points at sweatshirt.

Uncle:

I don’t know what that means.

Cousin:

I do.

Uncle:

Should I?

Cousin:

Probably not before dinner.

The Family Photo

Photographer:

Everybody closer.

Family:

Moves together.

Photographer:

Smile.

Family:

Smiles.

You:

Krampus sweatshirt front and center.

Photographer:

Could you maybe stand toward the back?

You:

Why?

Photographer:

Visual balance.

You:

Coward.

The Christmas Card

Friend:

Got your Christmas card.

You:

Nice.

Friend:

Your sweatshirt really changes the tone.

You:

How?

Friend:

Everyone’s smiling…

and there’s Krampus.

You:

Contrast.

Friend:

It looks like the family has been taken hostage.

You:

Festive contrast.

Grandma:

Still likes it.

The Horror Fan

Friend:

Halloween ended two months ago.

You:

Incorrect.

Friend:

It’s December.

You:

And?

Friend:

Christmas.

You:

Points at Krampus.

Friend:

You found a loophole.

You:

Horror season is eternal.

Horror Calendar

JANUARY: HORROR.

FEBRUARY: HORROR WITH HEARTS.

MARCH: HORROR WITH SHAMROCKS.

OCTOBER: OBVIOUSLY HORROR.

DECEMBER: KRAMPUS.

Friend:

You skipped several months.

You:

They were also horror.

Gothic Christmas

Friend:

Black ornaments?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Dark candles?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Krampus decorations?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Any cheerful decorations?

You:

Define cheerful.

Friend:

Never mind.

Alternative Christmas Tree

LIGHTS: DIM.

ORNAMENTS: DARK.

GARLAND: BLACK.

KRAMPUS: PRESENT.

ANGEL ON TOP: UNDER REVIEW.

Friend:

What’s going on top?

You:

Working on it.

Friend:

I’m afraid to ask.

You:

Good instinct.

The Ornament Collection

Friend:

How many Krampus ornaments do you have?

You:

Enough.

Friend:

That’s not a number.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

More than five?

You:

Next question.

Friend:

More than ten?

You:

We’re done here.

The Horror Movie Marathon

Friend:

Christmas movies tonight?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Something cheerful?

You:

No.

Friend:

Something romantic?

You:

No.

Friend:

Something wholesome?

You:

Absolutely not.

Friend:

Why did I even ask?

You:

Tradition.

Movie Night

SWEATSHIRT: ON.

FLEECE: WARM.

LIGHTS: OFF.

SNACKS: READY.

HORROR MOVIE: PLAYING.

SNOW OUTSIDE: FALLING.

CHAINS OUTSIDE:

…

Friend:

Did you hear that?

You:

Nope.

Friend:

You’re lying.

You:

Absolutely.

The Lights Go Out

CLICK.

Friend:

Power’s out.

You:

Probably snow.

Friend:

Probably?

Outside:

RATTLE.

Friend:

NO.

You:

Stay inside.

Friend:

I wasn’t planning otherwise.

You:

Good.

Friend:

You aren’t going outside either.

You:

Obviously.

Friend:

I’ve seen horror movies with you.

You:

Exactly.

Horror Survival Rules

RULE ONE: DON’T INVESTIGATE STRANGE NOISES.

RULE TWO: DON’T SPLIT UP.

RULE THREE: DON’T GO INTO THE BASEMENT.

RULE FOUR: DON’T SAY “I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.”

RULE FIVE: IF YOU HEAR CHAINS ON CHRISTMAS EVE, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR.

Friend:

Rule five seems unusually specific.

You:

Points at sweatshirt.

Friend:

Fair.

The Basement

Friend:

Breaker box is downstairs.

You:

No.

Friend:

We need electricity.

You:

No.

Friend:

It’s just the basement.

You:

Have you learned NOTHING?

Friend:

Good point.

Candles it is.

The Cabin

Friend:

This place is incredible.

You:

Fireplace.

Friend:

Snow.

You:

Mountains.

Friend:

No neighbors for miles.

You:

That’s concerning.

Friend:

Why?

You:

Horror movie geography.

Friend:

Can you not?

You:

I’m wearing Krampus.

You knew what this weekend was.

Midnight at the Cabin

FIREPLACE: LOW.

WIND: HIGH.

SNOW: HEAVY.

SWEATSHIRT: WARM.

DOOR: LOCKED.

WINDOW: FROSTED.

NOISE OUTSIDE: DETECTED.

Friend:

Probably branch.

RATTLE.

Friend:

Not branch.

You:

Definitely not branch.

Friend:

I want to go home.

You:

Road’s snowed in.

Friend:

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

The Porch

Friend:

Something’s outside.

You:

Don’t look.

Friend:

I’m looking.

You:

Don’t.

Friend:

I see something.

You:

Close the curtain.

Friend:

It has horns.

You:

CLOSE.

THE.

CURTAIN.

The Winter Forest

Hiker:

Beautiful trail.

Snow:

Falling.

Forest:

Silent.

Hiker:

Peaceful.

Distant Bell:

CLANG.

Hiker:

Hello?

Chains:

Rattle.

Hiker:

…

Hiker:

Today’s hike has concluded.

Winter Hiking Report

TRAIL DISTANCE PLANNED: 6 MILES.

TRAIL DISTANCE COMPLETED: 0.8 MILES.

WEATHER: COLD.

SCENERY: BEAUTIFUL.

STRANGE BELLS: HEARD.

HORNED SILHOUETTE: POSSIBLE.

TURNAROUND SPEED: RECORD-BREAKING.

The Fleece

Friend:

At least you’re warm.

You:

Fleece-lined.

Friend:

Good choice.

You:

Very.

Friend:

Even while fleeing Krampus?

You:

Especially while fleeing Krampus.

Friend:

Practical horror fashion.

You:

Exactly.

Winter Comfort

SNOW: FREEZING.

WIND: BITTER.

NIGHT: DARK.

SWEATSHIRT: SOFT.

FLEECE: WARM.

KRAMPUS: STILL TERRIFYING.

You:

Balance.

Friend:

That’s one word for it.

Krampusnacht

Friend:

So there’s actually a Krampusnacht?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

A night associated with Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

And people dress in elaborate costumes?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Masks?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Horns?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Bells?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

This is considerably more intense than my office Secret Santa.

You:

That’s a low bar.

The Krampus Parade

BELLS: LOUD.

MASKS: TERRIFYING.

HORNS: MASSIVE.

COSTUMES: IMPOSING.

WINTER AIR: FREEZING.

SWEATSHIRT: VERY GOOD DECISION.

Friend:

Now the fleece makes sense.

You:

Exactly.

The Parade

Friend:

That costume is incredible.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

That mask is horrifying.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Those horns are enormous.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Why are they coming this direction?

You:

Good question.

Friend:

WHY ARE YOU BACKING UP?

You:

No reason.

The Bell Gets Closer

CLANG.

Friend:

Okay.

CLANG.

Friend:

Very atmospheric.

CLANG.

Friend:

Why is he looking at us?

You:

Were you good this year?

Friend:

STOP ASKING ME THAT.

The Folklore Fan

Friend:

You really like Krampus.

You:

I like folklore.

Friend:

Dark folklore.

You:

Especially.

Friend:

Christmas folklore.

You:

When it’s unsettling.

Friend:

Naturally.

You:

Regular Christmas needed more monsters.

Friend:

I’m pretty sure nobody said that.

You:

I did.

The Research Rabbit Hole

Friend:

I searched Krampus.

You:

Mistake.

Friend:

Why?

You:

What time is it?

Friend:

2 a.m.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

I’ve been reading for four hours.

You:

Welcome to folklore research.

Friend:

I started with one picture.

You:

That’s how it happens.

Research Status

SEARCH ONE: KRAMPUS.

SEARCH TWO: KRAMPUSNACHT.

SEARCH THREE: ALPINE CHRISTMAS FOLKLORE.

SEARCH FOUR: HISTORIC KRAMPUS IMAGERY.

SEARCH FIVE: WHY WAS OLD CHRISTMAS SO TERRIFYING?

TIME LOST: 4 HOURS.

REGRETS: NONE.

The Dark Christmas Fan

Friend:

No Santa?

You:

Santa’s fine.

Friend:

No snowman?

You:

Fine.

Friend:

No elves?

You:

Fine.

Friend:

Then why Krampus?

You:

Because sometimes you want Christmas with consequences.

Friend:

That sounded ominous.

You:

Good.

Traditional Christmas

MERRY.

BRIGHT.

CHEERFUL.

JOYFUL.

Your Christmas

DARK.

COLD.

ANCIENT.

HORNED.

CHAIN-RATTLING.

Friend:

You know both can coexist, right?

You:

That’s what the sweatshirt is for.

Secret Santa

Recipient:

Opens package.

Recipient:

Krampus sweatshirt!

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

“Wishing You a Scary Krampus.”

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

This is dark.

You:

Exactly.

Recipient:

And fleece-lined?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Perfect.

Gift:

SUCCESSFUL.

The Horror Fan Gift

Recipient:

Finally.

You:

What?

Recipient:

A warm Christmas sweatshirt without a smiling reindeer.

You:

No smiling anything.

Recipient:

Good.

You:

Just Krampus.

Recipient:

Even better.

The Goth Gift

Recipient:

Dark Christmas sweatshirt?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Krampus?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Fleece?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

I’m wearing this all December.

You:

Mission accomplished.

The Folklore Lover Gift

Recipient:

Krampus!

You:

Knew you’d recognize him.

Recipient:

And “Wishing You a Scary Krampus.”

You:

Traditional holiday cheer needed adjustment.

Recipient:

Strong adjustment.

You:

Exactly.

The Person Who Doesn’t Know

Stranger:

What’s on your sweatshirt?

You:

Krampus.

Stranger:

What’s a Krampus?

You:

Do you have anywhere to be in the next twenty minutes?

Stranger:

Why?

You:

Folklore explanation.

Stranger:

Go ahead.

Twenty Minutes Later

Stranger:

CHRISTMAS HAS THIS?

You:

Welcome to the darker side of December.

The Explanation at Work

Coworker:

Who’s Krampus?

You:

Do you really want to know?

Coworker:

Yes.

You:

Okay.

Later

Coworker:

Why did nobody tell me about this?

You:

I just did.

Coworker:

I’m supposed to sleep tonight.

You:

Shouldn’t have asked.

The Compliment

Stranger:

That sweatshirt is terrifying.

You:

Thank you.

Stranger:

I mean really unsettling.

You:

Thank you.

Stranger:

That’s a compliment.

You:

I know.

Mission:

ACCOMPLISHED.

The Wrong Compliment

Stranger:

That’s a cheerful Christmas sweatshirt.

You:

Look closer.

Stranger:

…

You:

There it is.

Stranger:

Oh.

You:

Yep.

Stranger:

Never mind.

You:

Much better.

Cold December Night?

KRAMPUS.

Horror Marathon?

KRAMPUS.

Krampusnacht?

KRAMPUS.

Gothic Christmas Party?

KRAMPUS.

Alternative Holiday Gathering?

KRAMPUS.

Winter Festival?

KRAMPUS.

Ugly Sweater Party?

Forget ugly.

Go SINISTER.

Christmas Morning?

Depends how quickly you want Grandma asking questions.

Family Photo?

Depends how much you want to alter the family aesthetic.

Office Holiday Party?

Depends how your performance review went.

The Wishing You a Scary Krampus Unisex Sweatshirt

A dark, warm Christmas gift for:

Krampus fans.

Horror fans.

Christmas horror fans.

Folklore enthusiasts.

Alpine folklore enthusiasts.

Dark folklore fans.

Krampusnacht enthusiasts.

Gothic Christmas fans.

Alternative Christmas fans.

Goth fashion fans.

Horror collectors.

Monster lovers.

Winter horror fans.

Dark-art enthusiasts.

Macabre holiday fans.

People who prefer monsters to snowmen.

People who prefer horns to halos.

People who prefer chains to sleigh bells.

People who think December needs more horror.

People who refuse to put horror season away after October.

People who simply transition from Halloween monsters to Christmas monsters.

People who like their Christmas traditions old, strange, and unsettling.

People fascinated by winter folklore.

People who know who Krampus is.

People who enjoy explaining Krampus to people who don’t.

People who appreciate Alpine Christmas traditions.

People who celebrate Krampusnacht.

People who attend Krampus events.

People who appreciate elaborate Krampus masks and costumes.

People who love vintage Krampus imagery.

People who collect dark holiday artwork.

People whose Christmas tree has black ornaments.

People whose holiday decorations could reasonably be described as ominous.

People whose decorating philosophy is:

LESS MERRY.

MORE MENACING.

People who prefer gothic holiday decor.

People who have enough smiling Santa decorations.

People who don’t need another reindeer.

People who aren’t interested in dancing gingerbread men.

People who want a Christmas sweatshirt with actual menace.

People who enjoy horror movies in December.

People who believe horror season lasts twelve months.

People who host Christmas horror marathons.

People who know better than to investigate strange noises.

People who don’t go into the basement when the lights go out.

People who don’t split up.

People who never say:

“I’ll be right back.”

People who hear chains outside and immediately lock the door.

People who hear bells in a dark forest and turn around.

People who see a horned silhouette between the trees and suddenly remember an appointment elsewhere.

People who love isolated snowy cabins in theory.

People who become significantly less enthusiastic once strange noises begin.

People who want fleece-lined warmth for cold winter nights.

People who love cozy sweatshirts but don’t want cozy-looking graphics.

People who want warm clothing with dark artwork.

People who attend alternative Christmas parties.

People who attend gothic holiday events.

People who want something different for an ugly sweater party.

People who prefer disturbing to goofy.

People who like conversation-starting Christmas clothing.

People who want strangers to ask:

“WHAT IS THAT?”

People proudly occupying the naughty list.

People nervously reconsidering their naughty-list membership.

People who return shopping carts.

People who refill coffee pots.

People who ask before taking the last cookie.

People who have improved dramatically since learning about Krampus.

People who buy horror gifts.

People who need gifts for goth friends.

People who need gifts for folklore enthusiasts.

People who need gifts for that one family member who refuses to wear normal Christmas clothes.

And anyone who looks at an ordinary Christmas sweatshirt and thinks:

NOT ENOUGH HORNS.

Scary Krampus Winter Status Report

DECEMBER: ACTIVE.

TEMPERATURE: FALLING.

SNOW: HEAVY.

WIND: HOWLING.

NIGHT: DARK.

SWEATSHIRT: ON.

FLEECE: WARM.

COMFORT: HIGH.

CHRISTMAS CHEER: OPTIONAL.

HOLIDAY DREAD: INCREASING.

TREE: LIT.

FIREPLACE: LIT.

DOORS: LOCKED.

WINDOWS: LOCKED.

CURTAINS: CLOSED.

SANTA: EXPECTED.

KRAMPUS: NOT INVITED.

NAUGHTY LIST: UNDER REVIEW.

YOUR NAME: POSSIBLY PRESENT.

CONFIDENCE IN YEARLY BEHAVIOR: DECLINING.

LAST COOKIE INCIDENT: REMEMBERED.

LAST SLICE INCIDENT: REMEMBERED.

SHOPPING CART INCIDENT: REMEMBERED.

COFFEE POT INCIDENT: DEFINITELY REMEMBERED.

GOOD DEEDS: BEING COUNTED RAPIDLY.

APPEAL: UNAVAILABLE.

OUTSIDE NOISE: DETECTED.

WIND: POSSIBLE.

FOOTSTEPS: ALSO POSSIBLE.

BELL: HEARD.

SANTA: MAYBE.

CHAINS: HEARD.

SANTA: PROBABLY NOT.

HORNED SILHOUETTE: DETECTED.

SANTA: DEFINITELY NOT.

FRIEND: PANICKING.

YOU: PRETENDING TO REMAIN CALM.

SWEATSHIRT: STILL COMFORTABLY WARM.

SITUATION: OTHERWISE DETERIORATING.

CHAIN RATTLING: CLOSER.

KNOCK AT DOOR: DETECTED.

DOOR ANSWERING: NOT RECOMMENDED.

LIGHTS: FLICKERING.

BASEMENT INVESTIGATION: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

HORROR SURVIVAL INSTINCTS: ACTIVE.

KRAMPUSNACHT ENERGY: MAXIMUM.

SCARY CHRISTMAS: ACHIEVED.

WARMTH: MAINTAINED.

CURRENT STATUS: WARM ON THE OUTSIDE. TERRIFIED ON THE INSIDE. WISHING YOU A SCARY KRAMPUS.

Tags: Krampus Sweatshirt, Krampus Christmas Sweatshirt, Krampus Christmas Sweater, Krampus Pullover, Scary Krampus Sweatshirt, Scary Krampus Sweater, Wishing You a Scary Krampus Sweatshirt, Wishing You a Scary Krampus Sweater, Krampus Horror Sweatshirt, Krampus Horror Sweater, Krampus Holiday Sweatshirt, Krampus Holiday Sweater, Krampus Folklore Sweatshirt, Krampusnacht Sweatshirt, Krampusnacht Sweater, Krampusnacht Gift, Scary Christmas Sweater, Scary Christmas Sweatshirt, Scary Christmas Pullover, Christmas Horror Sweatshirt, Christmas Horror Sweater, Horror Christmas Sweatshirt, Horror Christmas Sweater, Horror Holiday Sweatshirt, Unisex Horror Holiday Sweatshirt, Unisex Gothic Holiday Shirt, Unisex Gothic Christmas Sweatshirt, Unisex Krampus Sweatshirt, Creepy Christmas Apparel, Creepy Christmas Sweatshirt, Creepy Christmas Sweater, Dark Christmas Sweatshirt, Dark Christmas Sweater, Dark Holiday Sweatshirt, Sinister Christmas Sweatshirt, Sinister Christmas Sweater, Gothic Christmas Sweatshirt, Gothic Christmas Sweater, Gothic Holiday Sweatshirt, Goth Christmas Sweatshirt, Goth Christmas Sweater, Goth Holiday Sweater, Spooky Christmas Sweater, Spooky Christmas Sweatshirt, Spooky Holiday Sweatshirt, Alternative Holiday Clothing, Alternative Christmas Sweatshirt, Alternative Christmas Sweater, Alternative Holiday Sweatshirt, Naughty List Sweatshirt, Naughty List Sweater, Krampus Naughty List Sweatshirt, Horror Fan Christmas Gift, Krampus Fan Gift, Krampus Christmas Gift, Gothic Christmas Gift, Goth Christmas Gift, Christmas Horror Gift, Dark Christmas Gift, Folklore Lover Gift, Alpine Folklore Sweatshirt, Alpine Christmas Sweatshirt, Alpine Christmas Folklore Shirt, Dark Folklore Sweatshirt, Folklore Horror Sweatshirt, Winter Horror Sweatshirt, Winter Horror Sweater, Holiday Horror Pullover, Monster Christmas Sweatshirt, Christmas Monster Sweater, Horned Christmas Monster Sweatshirt, Scary Christmas Monster Sweatshirt, Macabre Christmas Sweatshirt, Macabre Holiday Sweater, Macabre Christmas Gift, Dark Holiday Apparel, Horror Holiday Apparel, Horror Christmas Pullover, Krampus Graphic Sweatshirt, Scary Christmas Graphic Sweatshirt, Sinister Holiday Pullover, Dark Christmas Pullover, Gothic Holiday Pullover, Christmas Folklore Sweatshirt, Christmas Folklore Gift, Krampus Lover Sweatshirt, Krampus Lover Gift, Horror Lover Christmas Sweatshirt, Horror Lover Christmas Gift, Alternative Christmas Gift, Krampus Party Sweatshirt, Krampus Parade Sweatshirt, Krampusnacht Apparel, Fleece Krampus Sweatshirt, Fleece Lined Christmas Horror Sweatshirt, Cozy Horror Sweatshirt, Warm Krampus Sweatshirt, Winter Krampus Sweatshirt, Dark Xmas Sweatshirt, Scary Xmas Sweater, Gothic Xmas Sweatshirt