Foodie Hannibal Lecter – Unisex T-Shirt – Funny Horror – Dark Humor

NAME: HANNIBAL LECTER.

PALATE: REFINED.

TABLE MANNERS: IMPECCABLE.

DINNER CONVERSATION: INTELLIGENT.

MASK: ICONIC.

MENU: DON’T ASK.

CHEF’S SPECIAL: DEFINITELY DON’T ASK.

FOODIE STATUS: TECHNICALLY ACCURATE.

Some people call themselves foodies because they photograph brunch.

Some travel across town for the perfect taco.

Some have extremely strong opinions about olive oil.

Some can identify twelve varieties of cheese by smell.

And then there’s Hannibal Lecter.

His definition of “foodie” is…

different.

The Foodie Hannibal Lecter Unisex T-Shirt combines Hannibal Lecter’s unmistakably sinister masked face with the wonderfully innocent word “Foodie” in creepy horror-style lettering.

That’s it.

That’s the joke.

And if you understand why it’s funny, congratulations:

You probably watch entirely too much horror.

Featuring soft, breathable fabric and a classic unisex fit, this darkly funny horror shirt is perfect for scary movie marathons, horror conventions, Halloween parties, dinner outings, restaurant adventures, or casually making everyone at the neighborhood potluck slightly uncomfortable.

It’s sophisticated.

It’s creepy.

It’s ridiculous.

And it’s probably the only foodie shirt that makes people reconsider asking:

“So… what are we having?”

Why You’ll Love It:

• Dark Foodie Humor – A wonderfully twisted collision between modern foodie culture and one of horror cinema’s most notorious fictional dinner enthusiasts.
• Hannibal Lecter Graphic – The iconic masked face makes the joke instantly recognizable to horror fans.
• Creepy Horror Typography – The innocent word “Foodie” becomes considerably more unsettling in the right font.
• Soft, Breathable Comfort – Easy year-round wear for horror marathons, conventions, Halloween parties, restaurants, and suspicious dinner invitations.
• Classic Unisex Fit – Comfortable casual style with a deeply questionable culinary theme.
• Excellent Conversation Starter – Especially at restaurants, dinner parties, and anywhere appetizers are being served.
• Killer Gift for Horror Fans – Great for Hannibal Lecter fans, scary-movie buffs, dark-humor enthusiasts, and foodies who can take a joke.

Dinner Invitation

Friend:

Hannibal invited us to dinner.

You:

No.

Friend:

You don’t even know when.

You:

Doesn’t matter.

Friend:

Friday at eight.

You:

Busy.

Friend:

You don’t have plans.

You:

I do now.

Friend:

Doing what?

You:

Not attending Hannibal Lecter’s dinner party.

Weekend Status

FRIDAY 8:00 P.M.: AVAILABLE.

DINNER WITH HANNIBAL: DECLINED.

ALTERNATIVE PLANS: LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

Friend:

You’re overreacting.

You:

Am I?

The Dinner Party

Hannibal:

Welcome.

Guest:

Beautiful home.

Hannibal:

Thank you.

Guest:

Something smells incredible.

Hannibal:

I’m pleased you think so.

Guest:

What are we having?

Hannibal:

…

Guest:

Why did you pause?

Hannibal:

Wine?

Guest:

YOU DIDN’T ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Dinner Status

TABLE: SET.

CANDLES: LIT.

WINE: BREATHING.

HOST: CHARMING.

MENU: DELIBERATELY VAGUE.

GUEST: RECONSIDERING LIFE CHOICES.

Hannibal:

Please sit.

Guest:

I’d actually prefer standing.

The Menu

Guest:

Do you have a menu?

Hannibal:

No.

Guest:

Chef’s choice?

Hannibal:

Precisely.

Guest:

Can you tell me the ingredients?

Hannibal:

I’d rather surprise you.

Guest:

That sentence should not be this threatening.

Hannibal:

You’re being dramatic.

Guest:

I’M BEING CAUTIOUS.

Fine Dining Status

APPETIZER: MYSTERIOUS.

ENTRÉE: MYSTERIOUS.

DESSERT: PROBABLY NORMAL.

GUEST CONFIDENCE: DECLINING.

Guest:

What’s dessert?

Hannibal:

Crème brûlée.

Guest:

THANK GOD.

Hannibal:

You seem relieved.

Guest:

You have no idea.

The Foodie

Friend:

I’m a foodie.

You:

Cool.

Friend:

I love trying new restaurants.

You:

Nice.

Friend:

Hannibal’s a foodie too.

You:

We need a stronger definition.

Friend:

He appreciates cuisine.

You:

STRONGER.

DEFINITION.

Foodie Spectrum

BRUNCH ENTHUSIAST: FOODIE.

CHEESE EXPERT: FOODIE.

RESTAURANT OBSESSIVE: FOODIE.

HOME CHEF: FOODIE.

HANNIBAL LECTER: TECHNICALLY…

You:

Don’t finish that sentence.

The Restaurant

Server:

Welcome. Have you dined with us before?

Hannibal:

No.

Server:

Any dietary restrictions?

Hannibal:

…

Server:

Sir?

Hannibal:

No.

Server:

Wonderful.

Would you like to hear the specials?

Hannibal:

Very much.

Server:

Why did that sound threatening?

Hannibal:

I assure you, it wasn’t.

Server:

Okay.

I somehow feel worse.

The Reservation

Host:

Name?

Hannibal:

Lecter.

Host:

Party of?

Hannibal:

Two.

Host:

Wonderful.

Your guest hasn’t arrived yet?

Hannibal:

No.

Host:

Would you like to wait at the bar?

Hannibal:

Certainly.

Host:

And we’ll seat you when your entire party is here.

Hannibal:

Entire party.

Interesting phrasing.

Host:

…

Hannibal:

Something wrong?

Host:

Nope.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Reservation Status

TABLE: RESERVED.

PARTY SIZE: TWO.

HOST: UNCOMFORTABLE.

REASON: DIFFICULT TO ARTICULATE.

The Waiter

Waiter:

How is everything?

Hannibal:

Excellent.

Waiter:

Wonderful.

Hannibal:

The seasoning is restrained.

The texture is delicate.

The presentation is thoughtful.

Waiter:

Thank you.

Hannibal:

Though I might have prepared it differently.

Waiter:

Are you a chef?

Hannibal:

Enthusiast.

Waiter:

Nice.

You:

Don’t ask follow-up questions.

Waiter:

Why?

You:

TRUST ME.

The Food Critic

Critic:

Presentation?

Hannibal:

Elegant.

Critic:

Aroma?

Hannibal:

Complex.

Critic:

Texture?

Hannibal:

Excellent.

Critic:

Flavor?

Hannibal:

Sophisticated.

Critic:

Overall?

Hannibal:

Nine.

Critic:

Out of ten?

Hannibal:

Yes.

Critic:

What would make it a ten?

Hannibal:

…

Critic:

Never mind.

Restaurant Review Status

SERVICE: 9/10.

ATMOSPHERE: 10/10.

PRESENTATION: 9/10.

FOOD: 9/10.

CRITIC’S DESIRE FOR ADDITIONAL DETAILS: SUDDENLY ZERO.

The Cooking Show

Host:

Welcome back!

Today we have a very special guest.

Audience:

Applause.

Host:

Dr. Hannibal Lecter!

Audience:

Applause becomes noticeably less confident.

Host:

Doctor, what are we making?

Hannibal:

Something special.

Host:

Fantastic!

What ingredients do we need?

Hannibal:

…

Host:

Doctor?

Producer:

CUT TO COMMERCIAL.

Cooking Show Status

CAMERAS: ROLLING.

STUDIO AUDIENCE: NERVOUS.

INGREDIENT LIST: NOT APPROVED BY PRODUCTION.

LEGAL DEPARTMENT: APPROACHING RAPIDLY.

Producer:

We’re making cupcakes instead.

Hannibal:

How disappointing.

The Cooking Competition

Judge:

Your dish is technically excellent.

Contestant:

Thank you.

Judge:

Beautiful presentation.

Contestant:

Thank you.

Judge:

Balanced seasoning.

Contestant:

Thank you.

Hannibal:

I agree.

Contestant:

…

Judge:

…

Contestant:

Where did he come from?

Producer:

Nobody knows.

Contestant:

Why is he judging?

Producer:

Ratings.

The Recipe

Friend:

Can I get the recipe?

Hannibal:

Certainly.

Friend:

Great.

Hannibal:

You’ll need onions.

Friend:

Okay.

Hannibal:

Garlic.

Friend:

Okay.

Hannibal:

Fresh herbs.

Friend:

Nice.

Hannibal:

Butter.

Friend:

Perfect.

Hannibal:

And—

Friend:

Actually, that’s enough.

Hannibal:

I haven’t reached the primary ingredient.

Friend:

I KNOW.

Recipe Status

ONION: SAFE.

GARLIC: SAFE.

HERBS: SAFE.

BUTTER: SAFE.

NEXT INGREDIENT: NOT REQUIRED.

Friend:

I’ll improvise.

Hannibal:

Pity.

The Grocery Store

Employee:

Can I help you find something?

Hannibal:

Perhaps.

Employee:

What are you looking for?

Hannibal:

Something fresh.

Employee:

Produce is aisle three.

Hannibal:

Not quite.

Employee:

Meat department?

Hannibal:

Closer.

Employee:

…

Hannibal:

Is something wrong?

Employee:

I’m going on break.

Grocery Status

PRODUCE: STOCKED.

DELI: STOCKED.

BAKERY: STOCKED.

EMPLOYEE: GONE.

The Farmers Market

Vendor:

Would you like to sample some honey?

Hannibal:

Certainly.

Vendor:

Local wildflower.

Hannibal:

Lovely.

Vendor:

We also have preserves.

Hannibal:

Excellent.

Vendor:

Fresh herbs.

Hannibal:

I’ll take several.

Vendor:

Big dinner planned?

Hannibal:

Yes.

Vendor:

For friends?

Hannibal:

…

Vendor:

Cash or card?

Hannibal:

Card.

Vendor:

Great.

Let’s stay on transactional topics.

The Wine Shop

Clerk:

Looking for anything particular?

Hannibal:

Something appropriate for dinner.

Clerk:

Red or white?

Hannibal:

Red.

Clerk:

What’s the entrée?

Hannibal:

…

Clerk:

Actually, let’s work backward.

Bold or delicate?

Hannibal:

Bold.

Clerk:

Excellent.

That’s all I needed.

Wine Shopping Status

QUESTION ONE: SAFE.

QUESTION TWO: TOO SPECIFIC.

CLERK: ADAPTING.

The Potluck

Organizer:

Everybody bring something!

Friend One:

Mac and cheese.

Friend Two:

Brownies.

Friend Three:

Chips.

Hannibal:

I’ll prepare the main course.

Entire Group:

NO.

Hannibal:

Excuse me?

Organizer:

Dessert.

You can bring dessert.

Hannibal:

I don’t generally—

Organizer:

STORE-BOUGHT DESSERT.

Hannibal:

How insulting.

Organizer:

We’re comfortable with that.

Potluck Status

MAC & CHEESE: CONFIRMED.

CHIPS: CONFIRMED.

BROWNIES: CONFIRMED.

HANNIBAL’S CONTRIBUTION: PREPACKAGED COOKIES.

EVERYONE: RELIEVED.

Hannibal:

Philistines.

The Office Lunch

Coworker:

What did you bring?

You:

Sandwich.

Coworker:

Nice.

You?

Hannibal:

Leftovers.

Office:

…

Hannibal:

What?

Office:

Nothing.

Hannibal:

Would anyone like some?

Entire Office:

NO THANK YOU.

Hannibal:

You haven’t even asked what it is.

Office:

WE’RE GOOD.

Lunchroom Status

MICROWAVE: RUNNING.

SANDWICHES: SAFE.

SALADS: SAFE.

HANNIBAL’S CONTAINER: UNOPENED.

COWORKERS: EATING AT THEIR DESKS.

Hannibal:

People are so antisocial.

The Lunch Thief

Employee:

Someone keeps stealing my lunch.

Hannibal:

How rude.

Employee:

I know!

Hannibal:

Have you identified the culprit?

Employee:

No.

Hannibal:

Interesting.

Employee:

Why are you smiling?

Hannibal:

I’m not.

Employee:

You absolutely are.

Hannibal:

Perhaps label your food.

Employee:

I’m buying lunch from now on.

The Dinner Date

Date:

You said you like cooking?

Hannibal:

Very much.

Date:

What’s your specialty?

Hannibal:

I have several.

Date:

Italian?

Hannibal:

Sometimes.

Date:

French?

Hannibal:

Certainly.

Date:

Mediterranean?

Hannibal:

On occasion.

Date:

Favorite protein?

Hannibal:

…

Date:

That was a mistake.

Hannibal:

Which part?

Date:

The question.

Dating Status

CHEMISTRY: SURPRISINGLY GOOD.

CONVERSATION: SOPHISTICATED.

DINNER: EXCELLENT.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS ABOUT INGREDIENTS: DISCONTINUED.

The Dinner Guest

Guest:

This is delicious.

Hannibal:

Thank you.

Guest:

Really tender.

Hannibal:

I’m glad you noticed.

Guest:

What is it?

Hannibal:

Does it matter?

Guest:

YES.

Hannibal:

You’re enjoying it.

Guest:

I WAS.

Dinner Guest Status

APPETITE: PREVIOUSLY HIGH.

CURIOSITY: HIGHER.

TRUST: FALLING RAPIDLY.

Guest:

I suddenly want salad.

The Vegetarian

Guest:

I’m vegetarian.

Hannibal:

I see.

Guest:

Is that a problem?

Hannibal:

Not at all.

Guest:

Really?

Hannibal:

I can prepare vegetables beautifully.

Guest:

Oh.

Great.

Hannibal:

You seem surprised.

Guest:

I prepared myself for a much darker joke.

Hannibal:

How disappointing.

The Vegan

Guest:

I’m vegan.

Hannibal:

Understood.

Guest:

So what can I have?

Hannibal:

Roasted vegetables.

Wild mushrooms.

Herbed potatoes.

Seasonal greens.

Guest:

That sounds fantastic.

Hannibal:

Of course.

Guest:

This conversation was unexpectedly normal.

Hannibal:

I contain multitudes.

Guest:

Please don’t phrase it like that.

The Food Blogger

Blogger:

Wait!

Nobody eat yet!

Friend:

Why?

Blogger:

Pictures.

Friend:

I’m hungry.

Blogger:

Just one minute.

Friend:

You’ve taken twelve photos.

Blogger:

Lighting isn’t right.

Hannibal:

May I?

Blogger:

Sure.

Hannibal:

Moves plate three inches.

Blogger:

Oh wow.

That’s perfect.

Hannibal:

Presentation matters.

Friend:

I hate that he’s actually useful.

Foodie Photography Status

FOOD: COOLING.

CAMERA: READY.

LIGHTING: ADJUSTED.

HANNIBAL: DISTURBINGLY GOOD AT PLATING.

Blogger:

Can you help with my next shoot?

Friend:

DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR ADDRESS.

The Instagram Foodie

Friend:

Why are you photographing lunch?

Foodie:

Content.

Friend:

It’s soup.

Foodie:

Beautiful soup.

Friend:

You’re standing on the chair.

Foodie:

Angle.

Restaurant Manager:

Please get down.

Foodie:

One second.

Hannibal:

Amateur.

Foodie:

Excuse me?

Hannibal:

The lighting is dreadful.

Foodie:

Finally, someone understands.

The Brunch Foodie

Friend:

It’s eggs.

Foodie:

They’re artisanal eggs.

Friend:

They’re eggs.

Foodie:

With locally sourced herbs.

Friend:

Still eggs.

Foodie:

On sourdough.

Friend:

Eggs on toast.

Foodie:

You have no appreciation for cuisine.

Hannibal:

I sympathize.

Friend:

I DIDN’T ASK YOU.

Brunch Status

AVOCADO: PRESENT.

SOURDOUGH: PRESENT.

LATTE ART: PRESENT.

PHOTOGRAPHS: 37.

FOOD ACTUALLY EATEN: NOT YET.

Friend:

Can we eat now?

Foodie:

One more picture.

The Charcuterie Board

Host:

I made a charcuterie board.

Friend:

Nice!

Host:

Three cheeses.

Friend:

Excellent.

Host:

Olives.

Friend:

Excellent.

Host:

Crackers.

Friend:

Excellent.

Host:

Prosciutto.

Friend:

Excellent.

Hannibal:

Adequate.

Host:

“Adequate”?

Hannibal:

Presentation could improve.

Host:

Nobody asked you.

Hannibal:

You invited me.

Host:

That was apparently my first mistake.

The Cheese Shop

Clerk:

Mild or strong?

Hannibal:

Strong.

Clerk:

Soft or firm?

Hannibal:

Soft.

Clerk:

Cow, goat, or sheep?

Hannibal:

Surprise me.

Clerk:

Finally.

A customer who trusts me.

Friend:

You have no idea who you’re talking to.

Clerk:

Should I?

Friend:

Probably better that you don’t.

The Coffee Shop

Barista:

Name?

Hannibal:

Hannibal.

Barista:

…

Hannibal:

Something wrong?

Barista:

No.

Hannibal:

You’ve spelled it “Hanibal.”

Barista:

Sorry.

Hannibal:

One N?

Barista:

I’ll fix it.

Hannibal:

Please do.

Barista:

Immediately.

Coffee Status

ORDER: BLACK COFFEE.

NAME: CORRECTED.

BARISTA: UNUSUALLY MOTIVATED.

The Fast-Food Restaurant

Cashier:

Would you like fries with that?

Hannibal:

No.

Cashier:

Drink?

Hannibal:

No.

Cashier:

Dessert?

Hannibal:

No.

Cashier:

Anything else?

Hannibal:

No.

Cashier:

That was surprisingly easy.

Hannibal:

Were you expecting difficulty?

Cashier:

I don’t know why I said that.

Hannibal:

Neither do I.

Cashier:

NEXT CUSTOMER.

The Buffet

Host:

All you can eat.

Hannibal:

Interesting.

Host:

Sir?

Hannibal:

Nothing.

Host:

Here’s your plate.

Hannibal:

Thank you.

Host:

The buffet closes at nine.

Hannibal:

How restrictive.

Host:

It’s 6:30.

Hannibal:

Still.

Buffet Status

SALAD BAR: OPEN.

DESSERT BAR: OPEN.

HOT FOOD: OPEN.

HANNIBAL: EVALUATING EVERYTHING LIKE A FOOD CRITIC.

Employee:

He’s been staring at the carving station for ten minutes.

Manager:

Don’t engage.

The Recipe Website

You:

I just need the recipe.

Website:

Before we begin, let me tell you about summers at my grandmother’s cottage—

You:

No.

Website:

It was there that I first discovered—

You:

SCROLL.

Website:

Food has always represented—

You:

SCROLL.

Website:

My children absolutely adore—

You:

SCROLL.

Website:

Ingredients.

You:

FINALLY.

Hannibal:

Patience improves the dining experience.

You:

Not helping.

The Food Critic Review

AMBIANCE: Elegant.

SERVICE: Excellent.

PRESENTATION: Impeccable.

WINE: Outstanding.

HOST: Intelligent.

DINNER: Delicious.

INGREDIENTS: Reviewer elected not to investigate.

WOULD RETURN: Reviewer has relocated.

The Home Chef

Friend:

Why do you own eight knives?

Home Chef:

Different purposes.

Friend:

That one?

Home Chef:

Chef’s knife.

Friend:

That?

Home Chef:

Bread knife.

Friend:

That?

Home Chef:

Paring knife.

Friend:

That?

Home Chef:

Santoku.

Friend:

And that?

Home Chef:

Stop interrogating my kitchen.

Hannibal:

A proper tool for every task.

Friend:

You are the LAST person I wanted agreeing with them.

The Kitchen

Friend:

You really cook all this yourself?

Foodie:

Yep.

Friend:

Sauces from scratch?

Foodie:

Yep.

Friend:

Fresh herbs?

Foodie:

Yep.

Friend:

Homemade pasta?

Foodie:

Sometimes.

Friend:

That’s impressive.

Foodie:

Thank you.

Hannibal:

Technique could improve.

Foodie:

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.

The Dinner Conversation

Guest One:

Politics?

Host:

No.

Guest Two:

Religion?

Host:

Definitely no.

Guest Three:

Money?

Host:

No.

Hannibal:

Food?

Host:

…

Guest One:

Maybe politics.

Guest Two:

Politics suddenly sounds great.

Dinner Conversation Status

SAFE TOPICS: WEATHER.

POSSIBLY SAFE: SPORTS.

FOOD: SURPRISINGLY DANGEROUS.

Host:

Weather it is.

The Mask

Friend:

That’s an iconic mask.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Not exactly something you’d associate with “foodie.”

You:

That’s why it works.

Friend:

The joke is deeply wrong.

You:

Correct.

Friend:

I laughed.

You:

Also correct.

Horror Humor Status

REFERENCE: RECOGNIZED.

JOKE: UNDERSTOOD.

TASTE LEVEL: QUESTIONABLE.

LAUGH: UNAVOIDABLE.

Friend:

I feel bad.

You:

You’ll recover.

The Horror Fan

Friend:

You really like horror.

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Slashers?

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Psychological horror?

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Monsters?

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Serial-killer thrillers?

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Cannibalistic psychiatrists with sophisticated culinary preferences?

Fan:

Suspiciously specific.

Friend:

Points at shirt.

Fan:

Fair.

Horror Collection Status

MOVIES: MANY.

BOOKS: MANY.

POSTERS: MANY.

SHIRTS: MANY.

MASKED HORROR CHARACTERS: WELL REPRESENTED.

AVAILABLE SHELF SPACE: DECLINING.

Fan:

I’ll make room.

The Horror Convention

Stranger:

Nice Hannibal shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Stranger:

“Foodie.”

You:

Yep.

Stranger:

That’s terrible.

You:

Thank you.

Stranger:

I mean really terrible.

You:

You’re making it better.

Stranger:

Where’d you get it?

You:

And there it is.

Convention Status

HORROR FANS: MANY.

MASKS: MANY.

COSPLAY: MANY.

DARK JOKES: CONSTANT.

NORMAL CONVERSATION: UNLIKELY.

The Halloween Party

Guest:

What’s your costume?

You:

Foodie.

Guest:

You’re wearing a Hannibal Lecter shirt.

You:

Exactly.

Guest:

That’s barely a costume.

You:

Minimalist horror.

Guest:

That’s lazy.

You:

Efficient.

Guest:

What’s your contribution to the party?

You:

Store-bought chips.

Guest:

Probably wise.

Halloween Status

COSTUME EFFORT: MINIMAL.

HORROR REFERENCE: MAXIMUM.

FOOD CONTRIBUTION: FACTORY SEALED.

EVERYONE: COMFORTABLE WITH THAT.

The Scary Movie Marathon

Friend:

Snacks?

You:

Popcorn.

Friend:

Candy?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Pizza?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

What’s first?

You:

Hannibal Lecter movie.

Friend:

…

You:

What?

Friend:

Maybe we eat first.

You:

Probably smart.

Movie Marathon Status

PIZZA: ORDERED.

POPCORN: READY.

LIGHTS: DIMMED.

MOVIE: SELECTED.

APPETITE AFTER MOVIE: UNCERTAIN.

Friend:

Definitely eating first.

The Restaurant Shirt

Server:

I like your shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Server:

Foodie.

Nice.

You:

Look at the graphic.

Server:

…

You:

There it is.

Server:

I’m going to let somebody else take this table.

You:

Come on!

Server:

Enjoy your meal.

Restaurant Status

SHIRT: NOTICED.

REFERENCE: PROCESSED.

SERVER: RETREATING.

The Steakhouse

Server:

How would you like that prepared?

You:

Medium.

Server:

Excellent.

Server notices shirt.

Server:

…

You:

Don’t.

Server:

I didn’t say anything.

You:

Your face did.

Server:

Enjoy your dinner.

You:

Thank you.

Server:

I’m going now.

The Dinner With Friends

Friend:

You wore THAT shirt to dinner?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Why?

You:

Foodie shirt.

Friend:

Hannibal Lecter is on it.

You:

He’s arguably enthusiastic about cuisine.

Friend:

I hate that this joke technically functions.

You:

That’s what makes it beautiful.

Friend:

Please don’t say beautiful.

The Fancy Restaurant

Host:

Dress code is smart casual.

You:

Perfect.

Friend:

You’re not wearing the Hannibal Foodie shirt.

You:

Why not?

Friend:

Because we’re going somewhere expensive.

You:

Exactly.

He’s a sophisticated foodie.

Friend:

No.

You:

He appreciates presentation.

Friend:

NO.

You:

Fine.

Friend:

Thank you.

You:

I’ll wear it underneath.

Friend:

I give up.

The Food Festival

Vendor:

Tacos?

You:

Yes.

Vendor:

Barbecue?

You:

Yes.

Vendor:

Dumplings?

You:

Yes.

Vendor:

Desserts?

You:

Yes.

Friend:

You’re going to eat everything?

You:

I’m a foodie.

Friend:

Points at shirt.

You:

Not THAT kind.

Friend:

Important clarification.

Food Festival Status

TACOS: ACQUIRED.

DUMPLINGS: ACQUIRED.

DESSERT: PLANNED.

SHIRT JOKE: CAUSING CONCERN.

The Actual Foodie

Foodie:

I love discovering new restaurants.

Friend:

Cool.

Foodie:

Trying different cuisines.

Friend:

Nice.

Foodie:

Learning cooking techniques.

Friend:

Great.

Foodie:

Understanding ingredients.

Friend:

Wonderful.

Foodie:

Why are you looking nervous?

Friend:

Your shirt.

Foodie:

Oh.

Right.

Friend:

Maybe lead with the shirt being a joke.

Foodie:

Good idea.

The True Crime Fan

Friend:

You watch a lot of dark stuff.

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Horror.

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Crime documentaries.

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Psychological thrillers.

Fan:

Yep.

Friend:

Then you immediately watch cooking shows.

Fan:

Balance.

Friend:

Your algorithm must be terrified of you.

Fan:

It definitely has questions.

Streaming Recommendation Status

HORROR: RECOMMENDED.

THRILLERS: RECOMMENDED.

COOKING SHOWS: RECOMMENDED.

FOOD DOCUMENTARIES: RECOMMENDED.

ALGORITHM: CONNECTING DOTS IT SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE UNCONNECTED.

Fan:

Stop judging me.

The Dark Humor Friend

Friend:

I shouldn’t laugh at that.

You:

But you did.

Friend:

Immediately.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

It’s awful.

You:

And?

Friend:

I want one.

You:

There we go.

Dark Humor Status

APPROPRIATENESS: QUESTIONABLE.

TIMING: EXCELLENT.

LAUGHTER: CONFIRMED.

REGRET: MINIMAL.

The Gift

Recipient:

A foodie shirt?

You:

Look closer.

Recipient:

…

You:

You see it?

Recipient:

Is that Hannibal Lecter?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

OH.

You:

There it is.

Recipient:

That’s horrible.

You:

Thank you.

Recipient:

I love it.

You:

Correct response.

The Foodie Hannibal Lecter Unisex T-Shirt

Perfect for:

Hannibal Lecter fans.

Horror fans.

Psychological-horror fans.

Thriller fans.

Classic horror enthusiasts.

Scary-movie lovers.

Dark-humor fans.

Foodies with questionable senses of humor.

Home cooks.

Restaurant enthusiasts.

Dinner-party hosts.

Cooking-show fans.

Food-festival regulars.

Horror-convention attendees.

Halloween lovers.

Spooky-season enthusiasts.

Movie collectors.

Horror collectors.

People who appreciate iconic horror villains.

People who appreciate clever horror references.

People who enjoy jokes that take a second to register.

People who enjoy watching someone’s face when the joke finally registers.

People who have dark senses of humor.

People who love creepy graphic tees.

People who own too many horror shirts.

People who insist there is no such thing as too many horror shirts.

People who watch horror movies while eating dinner.

People who perhaps should choose the movie more carefully while eating dinner.

People who take food pictures.

People who read restaurant reviews.

People who write restaurant reviews.

People who know exactly which restaurant has the best tacos.

People who have strong opinions about pizza.

People who have stronger opinions about coffee.

People who own unnecessary amounts of kitchen equipment.

People who can explain why every kitchen knife has a different purpose.

People who visit farmers markets.

People who collect hot sauces.

People who build elaborate charcuterie boards.

People who say “presentation matters.”

People who have ever used the phrase “flavor profile” without irony.

People who order the chef’s special.

People who usually ask what’s in the chef’s special.

People who should DEFINITELY ask what’s in Hannibal’s chef’s special.

People who enjoy fine dining.

People who enjoy horror.

People who never expected those interests to overlap.

People looking for a Hannibal Lecter shirt.

People looking for a funny horror shirt.

People looking for a foodie joke shirt.

People looking for a dark humor tee.

People looking for a horror fan gift.

People looking for a Hannibal Lecter gift.

People looking for a Halloween horror shirt.

People looking for a creepy foodie shirt.

And anyone who considers themselves a foodie because they appreciate:

Interesting ingredients.

Careful preparation.

Beautiful presentation.

Sophisticated flavors.

Excellent wine.

Thoughtful seasoning.

And knowing precisely when to stop asking the chef questions.

Foodie Final Status Report

DINNER: SERVED.

TABLE: ELEGANT.

CANDLES: LIT.

NAPKINS: FOLDED.

SILVERWARE: POLISHED.

WINE: SELECTED.

PRESENTATION: IMPECCABLE.

HOST: HANNIBAL LECTER.

HOST’S MANNERS: EXCELLENT.

HOST’S INTELLIGENCE: FORMIDABLE.

HOST’S CULINARY INTERESTS: EXTENSIVE.

GUEST’S CURIOSITY: INITIALLY HIGH.

MENU: UNAVAILABLE.

INGREDIENT LIST: UNAVAILABLE.

GUEST’S CURIOSITY: RAPIDLY DECLINING.

APPETIZER: MYSTERIOUS.

MAIN COURSE: QUESTIONS DISCOURAGED.

DESSERT: MERCIFULLY NORMAL.

DINNER CONVERSATION: SOPHISTICATED.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS: ZERO.

FOOD BLOGGER: TAKING PHOTOS.

FOOD CRITIC: IMPRESSED.

HOME CHEF: TAKING NOTES.

HORROR FAN: GETTING THE JOKE.

DARK-HUMOR FAN: LAUGHING.

DINNER GUEST: NO LONGER HUNGRY.

RESTAURANT SERVER: KEEPING DISTANCE.

POTLUCK ORGANIZER: REQUESTING STORE-BOUGHT COOKIES.

COOKING SHOW PRODUCER: CUTTING TO COMMERCIAL.

FOODIE STATUS: CONFIRMED.

DEFINITION OF FOODIE: NEEDS REVISION.

PALATE: REFINED.

APPETITE: STRONG.

TASTE: QUESTIONABLE.

TABLE MANNERS: IMPECCABLE.

DINNER INVITATION: DECLINED.

CURRENT STATUS: FOR THOSE WITH A… REFINED TASTE.

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This heavy cotton tee has the classic cotton look and feel. Casual elegance will make it an instant favorite in everyone’s wardrobe.

.: Classic fit

.: 100% Cotton (fibre content may vary for different colors)

.: Light fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))

.: Tear away label

.: Runs true to size

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Width, in	17.99	20.00	21.97	23.98	25.98	27.99	30.04	31.97
Length, in	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00	35.00
Sleeve length, in	7.24	7.76	8.23	8.74	9.25	9.76	10.24	10.75