Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes – Color Accent Mug – Funny Sarcastic Christmas

MUG: FILLED.

COFFEE: HOT.

CHRISTMAS TREE: TRAPPED.

SNOW GLOBE: SEALED.

SNOWFLAKES: EVERYWHERE.

HOLIDAY CHEER: AGGRESSIVELY PRESENT.

SOCIAL BATTERY: LOW.

CAFFEINE LEVEL: RISING.

PATIENCE: MAYBE RECOVERABLE.

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES.

Sometimes the holidays are magical.

Twinkling lights.

Fresh snow.

Warm cookies.

Beautiful decorations.

Family traditions.

Thoughtful gifts.

Cozy movie nights.

And sometimes…

it’s December 19th.

You’ve heard the same Christmas song eleven times.

The parking lot is full.

Three packages are delayed.

Someone volunteered you for the office gift exchange.

Your wrapping paper is two inches too short.

The driveway needs shoveling again.

And someone just asked:

“ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS?”

That’s when you understand the tree.

The Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes Color Accent Mug features a wonderfully grumpy Christmas tree trapped inside a snow globe, surrounded by snowflakes and looking like it has officially reached maximum holiday capacity.

Add the perfectly exasperated phrase:

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES

and you’ve got a mug for everyone who enjoys Christmas…

but would also like Christmas to calm down for five minutes.

Made from ceramic with a bold accent-colored handle and interior, this festive mug adds a fun splash of color to your morning coffee, afternoon tea, evening cocoa, or emergency December caffeine.

Choose 11 oz or 15 oz, depending on how serious the situation has become.

Because some mornings require coffee.

And some December mornings require:

TACTICAL HOLIDAY CAFFEINE.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Festively Fed-Up Design – A grumpy Christmas tree trapped inside a snow globe perfectly captures holiday overload.
• Funny Snowflake Wordplay – The poor tree isn’t exaggerating. It really is surrounded by snowflakes.
• Color Accent Style – A bold accent-colored handle and interior add an extra pop to the holiday design.
• Two Sizes of Seasonal Survival – Choose 11 oz or 15 oz depending on how much holiday coping fuel the day requires.
• Perfect Office Mug – Ideal for surviving December meetings, gift exchanges, holiday parties, and coworkers asking whether you’ve finished shopping.
• Great Holiday Gag Gift – Fun for sarcastic friends, coworkers, family members, teachers, coffee lovers, and holiday realists.
• Festive Without Forced Cheer – Because enjoying Christmas and being slightly overwhelmed by Christmas can happen simultaneously.

Inside the Snow Globe

Snowflake:

Hi!

Tree:

Hello.

Another Snowflake:

Hi!

Tree:

Yep.

Another Snowflake:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tree:

Thank you.

Ten More Snowflakes:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Tree:

Okay.

I heard the first one.

Holiday Status

PERSONAL SPACE: DECLINING.

The First Shake

Human:

Look at the cute snow globe!

Tree:

Don’t.

Human:

Let’s shake it!

Tree:

Please don’t.

Human shakes globe.

Snowflakes:

WHEEEEEEEE!

Tree:

WHY.

Residential Status

TENANT: DISPLEASED.

The Second Shake

Human:

Again!

Tree:

No.

Snowflakes:

YES!

Tree:

Nobody asked you.

Democracy Status

TREE: OUTVOTED.

The Third Shake

Tree:

I LIVE HERE.

Human:

So pretty!

Tree:

FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

Snow Globe Status

BOUNDARIES: IGNORED.

Snowflake:

You should smile.

Tree:

You should settle.

Snowflake:

Eventually.

Tree:

I’m counting the seconds.

Relationship Status

STRAINED.

Another Snowflake

Snowflake:

It’s the most wonderful time!

Tree:

You’re in my branches.

Snowflake:

Oh.

Tree:

Yep.

Festive Status

COMPLICATED.

The Optimistic Snowflake

Snowflake:

Look on the bright side!

Tree:

I’m covered in lights.

Snowflake:

Exactly!

Tree:

That wasn’t encouragement.

Emotional Status

MISUNDERSTOOD.

The Mug Arrives

Tree:

What’s that?

Coffee:

Hello.

Tree:

Finally.

Someone useful.

Holiday Status

IMPROVING.

First Sip

You:

Okay.

Second Sip

You:

Better.

Third Sip

You:

Maybe I can do this.

Fourth Sip

You:

Who wants cookies?

Caffeine Status

HOLIDAY SPIRIT: RESTORED.

Before Coffee

Family:

Good morning!

You:

No.

After Coffee

Family:

Good morning!

You:

Acceptable.

Morning Status

CAFFEINE DEPENDENT.

December Morning

Alarm:

BEEP.

You:

No.

Alarm:

BEEP.

You:

Absolutely not.

Weather App:

21 degrees.

You:

Even more no.

Coffee Mug:

I’m here.

You:

My hero.

Morning Status

RESCUE COMPLETE.

The 11 oz Option

Friend:

11 ounces?

You:

Normal December day.

Friend:

Shopping?

You:

No.

Friend:

Family gathering?

No.

Friend:

Office party?

No.

Friend:

Reasonable.

Caffeine Classification

11 OZ: STANDARD FESTIVE OPERATIONS.

The 15 oz Option

Friend:

15 ounces?

You:

Office party.

Friend:

Ah.

You:

Then family dinner.

Friend:

Oh.

You:

Then Christmas shopping.

Friend:

Take two mugs.

Caffeine Classification

15 OZ: EMERGENCY HOLIDAY RESPONSE.

Monday in December

Monday:

Good morning!

You:

Don’t.

Monday:

Only 12 shopping days until Christmas!

You:

I said don’t.

Threat Status

MONDAY: UNHELPFUL.

Coffee Reheat Number One

Microwave:

BEEP.

You:

Perfect.

Ten Minutes Later

Coffee:

Cold.

You:

How?

Reheat Number Two

Microwave:

BEEP.

You:

This time.

Twelve Minutes Later

Coffee:

Cold.

You:

I NEVER EVEN DRANK YOU.

Beverage Status

NEGLECTED DUE TO HOLIDAY CHAOS.

Reheat Number Three

Family:

Where are you going?

You:

Microwave.

Family:

Again?

You:

Nobody needs commentary.

Caffeine Status

PERSISTENCE: ADMIRABLE.

Decorating Day

Family:

Ready?

You:

Coffee first.

Family:

We’re decorating!

You:

Coffee.

Family:

Christmas music!

You:

Coffee.

Family:

Lights!

You:

COFFEE.

Decorating Status

PREREQUISITE IDENTIFIED.

Christmas Lights

Person:

I put these away neatly.

Other Person:

Then explain this.

Person looks at impossible knot.

Person:

I cannot.

Decoration Status

LIGHTS: SELF-AWARE.

Untangling Lights

You:

Almost.

Lights:

No.

You:

Come on.

Lights somehow become worse.

You:

HOW?

Physics Status

SUSPENDED FOR CHRISTMAS.

Testing the Lights

You:

Moment of truth.

Plug.

Half illuminate.

You slowly raise mug.

Family:

Everything okay?

You:

Give me a minute.

Electrical Status

COFFEE PREVENTING INCIDENT.

Christmas Tree

Person:

It’s crooked.

Other Person:

No.

Person:

Look at it.

Other Person:

It’s rustic.

Person:

It’s leaning eight degrees.

Other Person:

Festively rustic.

Structural Status

DENIAL: ACTIVE.

Ornament Box

Person:

Where are the hooks?

Other Person:

In the ornament box.

Person:

I’m looking in the ornament box.

Other Person:

Then I don’t know.

Person takes sip.

Problem-Solving Status

POSTPONED UNTIL CAFFEINATED.

Child Decorating Tree

Child:

DONE!

Parent:

Wow!

Every ornament is on the bottom third.

Parent:

Very…

concentrated.

Child:

It’s beautiful!

Parent:

It absolutely is.

Design Status

CREATIVE DIRECTION: BOLD.

Cat Notices Tree

Cat:

Interesting.

Human:

No.

Cat:

Shiny objects.

Human:

Don’t.

Cat:

Dangling objects.

Human:

NO.

Cat:

Climbable branches.

Human:

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING.

Tree Security

THREAT LEVEL: CAT.

2:14 A.M.

CRASH.

Human opens eyes.

Human:

No.

Cat:

…

Human:

Was that the tree?

Cat:

I require legal representation.

Investigation Status

SUSPECT: OBVIOUS.

Dog Notices Tree

Dog:

Indoor tree?

Human:

Yes.

Dog:

Why?

Human:

Christmas.

Dog:

Can I—

Human:

No.

Dog:

You don’t even know what I was going to ask.

Human:

Yes I do.

Security Status

MULTIPLE THREATS.

Christmas Shopping

Friend:

Finished?

You:

No.

Friend:

How much do you have left?

You:

Coffee.

Friend:

That doesn’t answer—

You:

COFFEE.

Shopping Status

DISCUSSION TERMINATED.

The Mall Parking Lot

You:

There’s a spot!

Another Car:

There’s a spot!

You:

No.

Another Car:

Yes.

You:

I saw it first.

Other Driver activates turn signal.

You:

This means war.

Holiday Spirit

TEMPORARILY OFFLINE.

Inside the Store

Employee:

Finding everything okay?

You:

Emotionally or physically?

Employee:

Products.

You:

Then no.

Retail Status

HONESTY: EXCESSIVE.

The Checkout Line

Person Behind You:

Are you in line?

You look at twenty people ahead.

You look at your cart.

You look at them.

You:

No.

We’re waiting for a bus.

Patience Status

SARCASTIC.

The Person Who Wants Nothing

You:

What do you want for Christmas?

Them:

Nothing.

You:

Give me an idea.

Them:

I don’t need anything.

You:

One thing.

Them:

Don’t worry about me.

You:

THAT IS NOT A GIFT IDEA.

Shopping Status

DIFFICULTY: EXPERT.

Online Shopping

Website:

Guaranteed holiday delivery!

You:

Excellent.

Website:

Some exclusions apply.

You:

Such as?

Website:

Your order.

Shipping Status

BETRAYAL.

Package Tracking

Tracking:

Label created.

You:

Okay.

Next day:

Label created.

You:

Fine.

Next day:

Label created.

You:

MOVE.

Logistics Status

PACKAGE: MEDITATING.

Finally

Tracking:

In transit.

You:

YES.

Tracking:

Delayed due to weather.

You:

OF COURSE.

Delivery Status

SNOWFLAKES: NOW PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE.

Wrapping Presents

You:

Scissors?

Nobody:

…

You:

Tape?

Nobody:

…

You:

Gift tags?

Nobody:

…

You raise mug.

Household Status

EVERYONE WISELY SILENT.

The Tape Roll

You:

Where is the end?

Tape:

…

You:

You have an end.

Tape:

…

You:

SHOW YOURSELF.

Wrapping Status

NEGOTIATIONS FAILED.

Wrapping Paper

You:

Measured perfectly.

Cut.

Paper doesn’t reach.

You:

Apparently not.

Mathematical Status

GEOMETRY: PERSONAL ENEMY.

The Wrapping Patch

Family:

Is that supposed to look like that?

You:

Yes.

Family:

The paper doesn’t match.

You:

It’s an accent panel.

Design Status

LUXURY CUSTOM WRAP.

Midnight

You:

Finished.

You take triumphant sip.

You see another present behind chair.

You:

Who invited you?

Wrapping Status

FINAL BOSS: DISCOVERED.

Cookie Baking

Recipe:

Bake 10–12 minutes.

You:

Easy.

You check phone.

You answer message.

You wrap present.

You smell something.

You:

Oh no.

Cookie Status

CRUNCHY.

Cookie Decorating

Friend:

What’s that?

You:

Snowman.

Friend:

Really?

You:

Yes.

Friend:

Looks like a potato.

You:

He’s doing his best.

Cookie Status

FESTIVE POTATO: ACCEPTED.

Gingerbread House

Box:

Easy to assemble.

You:

Great.

Wall collapses.

You:

Interesting.

Roof collapses.

You:

Less interesting.

Whole house collapses.

You take long sip.

Construction Status

COFFEE: NOW FOREMAN.

Structural Icing

Friend:

More icing.

You:

There’s already an inch.

Friend:

More.

You:

We’re not decorating anymore.

We’re doing masonry.

Engineering Status

ICING: LOAD-BEARING.

Office Morning

Coworker:

Cute mug.

You:

Thanks.

Coworker reads it.

Coworker:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

Relatable.

Office Status

ALLIANCE FORMED.

Coworker Number Two

Coworker:

Are you saying we’re the snowflakes?

You:

I didn’t say anything.

Coworker:

But—

You:

Coffee?

Diplomacy Status

MASTERFUL.

Morning Meeting

Boss:

Let’s start with a fun holiday icebreaker!

You slowly take sip.

Boss:

What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

You:

Coffee.

Boss:

That’s not—

You:

Coffee.

Meeting Status

ANSWER: FINAL.

Meeting Slide

HOLIDAY TEAM-BUILDING INITIATIVE

You:

No.

Coworker:

You haven’t read it.

You:

I don’t need to.

Corporate Status

INSTINCTS: STRONG.

Office Holiday Party

Boss:

Everyone having fun?

Employees:

YES!

Boss:

That sounded forced.

Employees:

YESSSSS!

You quietly drink coffee.

Morale Status

MUG PROVIDING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

Small Talk

Coworker:

Big plans for Christmas?

You:

Survive.

Coworker:

Traveling?

You:

Survive.

Coworker:

Family visiting?

You:

Exactly.

Holiday Strategy

SURVIVAL.

Gift Exchange

Coworker:

Who got me?

Everyone:

…

Coworker opens present.

Coworker:

A desk calendar.

Everyone:

…

Coworker:

Great.

Gift Status

ENTHUSIASM: PROFESSIONAL.

Family Gathering

Relative:

So…

You:

Coffee?

Relative:

I was going to ask—

You:

Coffee?

Relative:

Actually, sure.

Defensive Status

BEVERAGE DIVERSION SUCCESSFUL.

The Question

Relative:

Are you seeing anyone?

You take sip.

Relative:

Well?

You:

This coffee is excellent.

Conversation Status

REDIRECTED.

Another Relative

Relative:

When are you going to—

You:

Would you like pie?

Relative:

I was asking—

You:

PIE AND COFFEE?

Relative:

Sure.

Defense System

FULLY OPERATIONAL.

Holiday Dinner

Family Member:

Let’s not argue this year.

Everyone:

Agreed.

Three minutes later.

Family Member:

Actually—

You raise mug.

Everyone:

NO.

Peace Status

MAINTAINED.

Dinner Preparation

Guest:

Need help?

Cook:

No thanks.

Guest:

Are you sure?

Cook:

Yep.

Guest:

I could—

Cook points toward coffee pot.

Cook:

You can make coffee.

Guest:

Got it.

Kitchen Status

USEFUL TASK ASSIGNED.

Christmas Movie Night

Person One:

Comedy.

Person Two:

Classic.

Person Three:

Animated.

Person Four:

Action.

Person Five:

Something new.

You:

I’m making cocoa.

Decision Status

NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Twenty Minutes Later

You return.

Family still arguing.

You:

Excellent.

Movie Status

ZERO PROGRESS.

The Same Movie Again

Friend:

We’ve watched this every year.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

Want something different?

You:

Absolutely not.

Tradition Status

NONNEGOTIABLE.

Matching Pajamas

Family:

Put these on.

You:

Why?

Family:

Photo.

You:

Can I hold my mug?

Family:

Sure.

You:

Fine.

Negotiation Status

ACCEPTABLE.

Family Photo

Photographer:

Smile!

Child:

He’s touching me.

Other Child:

No I’m not.

Dog walks away.

Baby cries.

Someone sneezes.

Grandpa blinks.

You hold mug tightly.

Photo Status

AUTHENTIC.

Christmas Morning

Child:

WAKE UP!

Adult:

What time?

Child:

5:07!

Adult:

Coffee doesn’t even know it’s morning yet.

Holiday Hours

NOT OPEN.

Five Minutes Later

Child:

Now?

Adult:

No.

Child:

Now?

No.

Child:

Now?

Adult:

I’M MAKING COFFEE.

Morning Status

NEGOTIATIONS SUSPENDED.

First Christmas-Morning Sip

You:

Okay.

Open presents.

Holiday Status

AUTHORIZED.

The Toy

Child:

It needs batteries.

Parent:

We have batteries.

Child:

It needs weird tiny ones.

Parent:

We don’t have batteries.

Inventory Status

EVERY WRONG SIZE: AVAILABLE.

Toy Assembly

Box:

Some assembly required.

Parent:

Okay.

Forty-seven pieces fall onto floor.

Parent:

That’s not some.

Assembly Status

DEFINITION DISPUTED.

Instruction Manual

Step One:

Insert bracket F into housing D.

Parent:

Which one’s F?

Child:

This?

Parent:

That’s a wheel.

Child:

This?

Parent:

That’s my coffee.

Don’t touch that.

Priority Status

MUG: PROTECTED.

Winter Morning

You look outside.

Snow:

Beautiful.

You:

Wow.

Coffee:

Warm.

You:

Perfect.

Thirty Minutes Later

You:

I have to shovel that, don’t I?

Coffee:

…

You:

Don’t answer.

Winter Status

REALITY ARRIVING.

Shoveling

You:

Almost finished.

Snow begins falling harder.

You:

Seriously?

Weather Status

MOCKING YOU.

Finally Done

You:

Perfect.

Snowplow approaches.

You:

No.

Snowplow:

VRRRRRRR.

You:

NO.

Snow wall appears.

You stare silently.

Emotional Status

BEYOND WORDS.

Back Inside

You remove boots.

Pour coffee.

Hold mug.

Sit down.

Nobody speaks.

Recovery Status

HEALING.

Snowflake:

We’re beautiful!

Tree:

Yes.

Snowflake:

You admit it!

Tree:

Individually.

Snowflake:

What about together?

Tree:

Together you’re why someone has to shovel.

Snowflake Status

OFFENDED BUT INFORMED.

The Tree and Coffee

Tree:

What are you drinking?

You:

Coffee.

Tree:

Can I have some?

You:

You’re inside a snow globe.

Tree:

That wasn’t a no.

Logistics Status

COMPLICATED.

Holiday Therapist

Therapist:

How are you coping with the season?

You hold up mug.

Therapist:

I see.

Treatment Status

WORKING.

The Holiday Realist

Friend:

You hate Christmas?

You:

No.

Friend:

But your mug—

You:

I love Christmas.

Friend:

Then why the grumpy tree?

You:

Because Christmas can be wonderful and exhausting at the exact same time.

Friend:

Fair.

You:

Also the tree is funny.

Friend:

Also fair.

Holiday Philosophy

BALANCED.

The Christmas Enthusiast

Friend:

LIGHTS!

You:

Nice.

Friend:

COOKIES!

You:

Love them.

Friend:

SNOW!

You:

Pretty.

Friend:

PARTIES!

You:

Sometimes.

Friend:

CAROLING!

You:

Coffee refill.

Boundary Status

ESTABLISHED.

The Introvert

Friend:

Holiday party tonight.

Introvert:

How many people?

Friend:

Fifty.

Introvert looks at mug.

Friend:

I’ll tell them you had plans.

Introvert:

You’re a good friend.

Social Status

SAVED.

Gift for Coworker

Coworker:

A mug?

You:

Read it.

Coworker:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

Coworker looks around office.

Coworker:

I’m using this immediately.

Gift Status

PERFECT MATCH.

Gift for Mom

Mom:

Grumpy tree?

Family:

Yep.

Mom:

Snow globe?

Yep.

Mom:

Coffee?

Yep.

Mom:

You did well.

Mom Gift Status

APPROVED.

Gift for Dad

Dad:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

Kid:

Thought of you.

Dad:

Why?

Kid:

You said it twelve times while shoveling last year.

Dad:

Fair.

Dad Gift Status

ACCURATE.

Gift for Husband

Husband:

11 or 15 oz?

Partner:

15.  

Husband:

Good.

Partner:

You haven’t even looked at the design.

Husband:

I trust you.

Relationship Status

CAFFEINE COMPATIBILITY: HIGH.

Gift for Wife

Wife:

Color accent?

Partner:

Yep.

Wife:

Grumpy Christmas tree?

Yep.

Wife:

15 ounces?

Yep.

Wife:

You understand me.

Gift Status

EXCELLENT.

Gift for Friend

Friend:

Are you calling me grumpy?

You:

Festively sarcastic.

Friend:

Better.

Friendship Status

DIPLOMACY SUCCESSFUL.

Secret Gift Exchange

Recipient:

Who got me this?

Everyone:

…

Recipient reads mug.

Recipient:

Whoever you are…

thank you.

Gift Status

ANONYMOUS HERO.

The 11 oz Holiday Person

Friend:

11 oz.

You:

Responsible.

Friend:

One cup.

You:

Impressive.

Friend:

Maybe two.

You:

There it is.

Caffeine Status

REALISTIC.

The 15 oz Holiday Person

Friend:

15 oz.

You:

Shopping day?

Friend:

Family gathering.

You:

Understood.

Friend:

Then office party.

You:

Refill immediately.

Caffeine Status

TACTICAL.

The Tea Drinker

Friend:

I don’t drink coffee.

You:

Tea?

Friend:

Yes.

You:

Welcome.

Mug Status

INCLUSIVE.

Hot Cocoa Person

Friend:

Extra marshmallows.

You:

How many?

Friend:

Until the cocoa disappears.

You:

Correct answer.

Marshmallow Status

MAXIMUM.

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes Color Accent Mug

Perfect for:

Christmas lovers with sarcasm.

Holiday realists.

Coffee drinkers.

Tea drinkers.

Hot cocoa enthusiasts.

Moms.

Dads.

Husbands.

Wives.

Boyfriends.

Girlfriends.

Friends.

Siblings.

Coworkers.

Teachers.

Office jokesters.

Holiday-party survivors.

Christmas shoppers.

Last-minute shoppers.

Gift wrappers.

Cookie bakers.

Gingerbread engineers.

Snow shovelers.

Winter complainers.

Snow lovers.

People who love snow through a window.

People who think snow is beautiful until it blocks the driveway.

People who have been betrayed by a snowplow.

People who appreciate literal snowflake jokes.

People who understand the grumpy tree.

People who ARE the grumpy tree.

People who love Christmas but also love silence.

People whose December social battery is permanently at 12%.

People who need coffee before holiday cheer.

People who need coffee before shopping.

People who need coffee before family gatherings.

People who need coffee before office meetings.

People who need coffee before Christmas morning.

People who need coffee before answering:

“ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS?”

People who have reheated the same cup three times.

People who forget where they put their coffee.

People who eventually find their coffee in the microwave.

People who own too many mugs.

People who reject the concept of too many mugs.

People who choose mugs based on mood.

People whose mood is currently:

FESTIVE BUT APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

People looking for a funny Christmas mug.

People looking for a sarcastic Christmas mug.

People looking for a grumpy Christmas tree mug.

People looking for a snow globe mug.

People looking for a funny snowflake mug.

People looking for a color accent Christmas mug.

People looking for an 11 oz holiday mug.

People looking for a 15 oz holiday mug.

People looking for a funny coworker gift.

People looking for a Christmas gag gift.

People looking for a sarcastic holiday gift.

And anyone who understands that sometimes the difference between:

“I LOVE CHRISTMAS!”

and

“EVERYONE PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.”

is approximately…

one cup of coffee.

Maybe two.

Because the holidays are wonderful.

But they’re also:

Shopping.

Wrapping.

Cooking.

Cleaning.

Traveling.

Decorating.

Shoveling.

Parties.

Meetings.

Family gatherings.

Gift exchanges.

School events.

Work events.

Photos.

Packages.

Traffic.

Parking.

Batteries.

Assembly instructions.

Tangled lights.

Broken ornaments.

Burnt cookies.

Collapsed gingerbread houses.

And people asking:

“ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS?”

So pour something warm.

Hold the mug.

Take a sip.

Look at the grumpy little tree trapped inside its snow globe.

And remember:

You’re not alone.

The tree gets it.

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES.

TREE: GRUMPY.

SNOWFLAKES: NUMEROUS.

MUG: FULL.

CAFFEINE: WORKING.

HOLIDAY SPIRIT: RECOVERING.

Final Holiday Caffeine Survival Status Report

CERAMIC MUG: READY.

ACCENT-COLORED HANDLE: READY.

ACCENT-COLORED INTERIOR: READY.

11 OZ OPTION: AVAILABLE.

15 OZ OPTION: AVAILABLE.

COFFEE: ACCEPTED.

TEA: ACCEPTED.

HOT COCOA: HIGHLY ACCEPTED.

MARSHMALLOWS: OPTIONAL BUT ENCOURAGED.

CHRISTMAS TREE: PRESENT.

TREE EXPRESSION: OVER IT.

SNOW GLOBE: SEALED.

SNOWFLAKES: EVERYWHERE.

TREE PERSONAL SPACE: ZERO.

FIRST SHAKE: SURVIVED.

SECOND SHAKE: RUDE.

THIRD SHAKE: UNCALLED FOR.

HOLIDAY CHEER: COMPLICATED.

FIRST SIP: COMPLETE.

PATIENCE: +10%.

SECOND SIP: COMPLETE.

PATIENCE: +20%.

THIRD SIP: COMPLETE.

CHRISTMAS SPIRIT: REBOOTING.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: TANGLED.

HALF THE STRAND: DEAD.

TREE: SLIGHTLY CROOKED.

CAT: SUSPICIOUS.

DOG: ALSO SUSPICIOUS.

SHOPPING: INCOMPLETE.

PARKING LOT: HOSTILE.

CHECKOUT LINE: LONG.

PACKAGE TRACKING: REFRESHED AGAIN.

DELIVERY DATE: HOPEFUL.

WRAPPING PAPER: TOO SHORT.

TAPE: HIDING.

SCISSORS: MISSING.

GINGERBREAD HOUSE: STRUCTURALLY UNSOUND.

COOKIES: UGLY BUT DELICIOUS.

OFFICE PARTY: SURVIVED.

SMALL TALK: MINIMIZED.

FAMILY QUESTIONS: DEFLECTED.

PIE: DEPLOYED.

CHRISTMAS MORNING: EARLY.

BATTERIES: NOT INCLUDED.

CORRECT BATTERIES: NOT OWNED.

TOY ASSEMBLY: FAR MORE THAN “SOME.”

SNOW: BEAUTIFUL.

SHOVELING: LESS BEAUTIFUL.

SNOWPLOW: WAITING.

DRIVEWAY: DOOMED.

COFFEE REHEAT NUMBER ONE: COMPLETE.

COFFEE REHEAT NUMBER TWO: COMPLETE.

COFFEE REHEAT NUMBER THREE: INEVITABLE.

SOCIAL BATTERY: LOW.

CAFFEINE BATTERY: CHARGING.

SARCASM: FULLY OPERATIONAL.

HOLIDAY REALIST STATUS: CONFIRMED.

TREE: STILL GRUMPY.

SNOWFLAKES: STILL EVERYWHERE.

MUG: STILL HELPING.

CURRENT STATUS: CAFFEINATED, FESTIVE, SARCASTIC, AND SURVIVING DECEMBER ONE SIP AT A TIME.

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