Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes – Unisex T-Shirt – Funny Sarcastic Christmas

LOCATION: SNOW GLOBE.

TEMPERATURE: FREEZING.

SNOWFLAKES: EVERYWHERE.

CHRISTMAS TREE: TRAPPED.

PERSONAL SPACE: GONE.

HOLIDAY CHEER: DECLINING.

PATIENCE: MELTING FASTER THAN THE SNOW.

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES.

Some Christmas trees dream of being beautifully decorated.

Some dream of standing proudly beside a fireplace.

Some dream of twinkling lights, shiny ornaments, presents underneath, and a peaceful Christmas morning.

This tree?

This tree would just like everyone to leave it alone for five minutes.

The Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes Unisex T-Shirt captures holiday exhaustion in one wonderfully grumpy scene: a less-than-thrilled Christmas tree trapped inside a snow globe while snowflakes swirl around it beneath the hilariously exasperated phrase:

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES

It’s Christmas cheer…

with an eye twitch.

Made with soft, breathable fabric and a relaxed unisex fit, this sarcastic Christmas shirt is perfect for holiday parties, family gatherings, decorating marathons, Christmas shopping, cookie exchanges, ugly sweater parties, office celebrations, winter vacations, or sitting quietly in the corner wondering whether December has always been this loud.

Because sometimes you’re:

MERRY AND BRIGHT.

And sometimes you’re:

FESTIVE AND OVERSTIMULATED.

Both are valid holiday moods.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Festively Sarcastic Design – A grumpy Christmas tree trapped inside a snow globe delivers holiday humor with exactly the right amount of seasonal irritation.
• Funny Snowflake Wordplay – A cheeky phrase with a perfectly literal visual punchline: the poor tree really is surrounded by snowflakes.
• Soft & Comfortable – Breathable fabric and a relaxed unisex fit make it easy to wear through parties, shopping trips, family gatherings, and holiday chaos.
• Perfect for Holiday Realists – For people who enjoy Christmas but don’t necessarily need to be aggressively cheerful about it.
• Great Christmas Party Shirt – A funny alternative to the traditional ugly Christmas sweater.
• Easy Gag Gift – Perfect for sarcastic friends, coworkers, siblings, spouses, holiday skeptics, and anyone whose December patience is running dangerously low.
• No Forced Merriment Required – You can love Christmas and still need everybody to back away from the snow globe.

Inside the Snow Globe

Tree:

Okay.

Snowflake:

Hi!

Tree:

Hello.

Another Snowflake:

Hi!

Tree:

Yep.

Another Snowflake:

HI!

Tree:

I see you.

Forty-Seven More Snowflakes:

HEYYYYYYY!

Tree:

Oh no.

Snow Globe Status

PERSONAL SPACE: ELIMINATED.

Five Minutes Later

Tree:

Could everyone just…

spread out?

Snowflakes:

WE ARE LITERALLY FALLING FROM THE SKY.

Tree:

Right.

Forgot.

Environmental Status

ESCAPE ROUTE: NONE.

The First Shake

Human:

Look at the cute snow globe!

Tree:

Don’t.

Human:

Let’s shake it!

Tree:

Please don’t.

Human shakes globe.

Snowflakes:

WHEEEEEEEEE!

Tree:

WHY.

Weather Status

BLIZZARD: MAN-MADE.

After the Shake

Tree:

Everybody okay?

Snowflake:

THAT WAS AMAZING!

Tree:

I hated every second of it.

Snowflake:

Again!

Tree:

Absolutely not.

Holiday Status

ENTHUSIASM LEVELS: UNEQUAL.

The Second Shake

Tree:

NO.

Human:

Shake shake shake!

Tree:

I LIVE HERE!

Residential Status

TENANT RIGHTS: UNCLEAR.

Snowflake Number One

Snowflake:

You should smile more.

Tree:

You should fall somewhere else.

Holiday Diplomacy

FAILED.

Snowflake Number Two

Snowflake:

It’s Christmas!

Tree:

I know.

Snowflake:

Aren’t you excited?

Tree:

I’ve been standing in the same glass ball since November.

Snowflake:

So…

yes?

Tree:

No.

Seasonal Status

MERRY: PENDING.

Snowflake Number Three

Snowflake:

You don’t seem very festive.

Tree:

I’m wearing ornaments.

Snowflake:

True.

Tree:

There is literally a star on my head.

Snowflake:

Also true.

Tree:

What more do you want?

Festive Compliance

REQUIREMENTS: EXCEEDED.

The Optimistic Snowflake

Snowflake:

Every day is a gift!

Tree:

Do you have roots?

Snowflake:

No.

Tree:

Then you can leave.

Snowflake:

Eventually.

Tree:

Exactly.

Philosophy Status

TREE: BITTER.

Christmas Morning

Snowflake:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tree:

It’s 5:43 a.m.

Snowflake:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tree:

You already said that.

Snowflake:

MERRY—

Tree:

I HEARD YOU.

Morning Status

COFFEE: DESPERATELY NEEDED.

The Holiday Realist

Friend:

You don’t like Christmas?

You:

I love Christmas.

Friend:

But your shirt says—

You:

I also enjoy personal space.

Friend:

Fair.

Holiday Status

NUANCE: ACHIEVED.

Decorating Day

Person One:

Let’s decorate!

You:

Okay.

Person Two:

Christmas music!

You:

Sure.

Person Three:

Hot cocoa!

You:

Fine.

Person Four:

Matching pajamas!

You:

We’re getting dangerously close to my limit.

Festive Status

OVERLOAD: APPROACHING.

Ornament Box

Person:

Where are the hooks?

Other Person:

I thought you had them.

Person:

I thought YOU had them.

Other Person:

Did we buy hooks?

Person:

…

Decorating Status

MISSION DELAYED.

String Lights

Person:

They’re tangled.

Other Person:

How?

Person:

I put them away neatly.

Other Person:

Clearly the lights spent the summer fighting.

Light Status

KNOT: SUPERNATURAL.

Twenty Minutes Later

Person:

Almost got it.

Lights:

No.

Person:

What?

Lights somehow become more tangled.

Decorating Status

PROGRESS: NEGATIVE.

Testing the Lights

Person:

Ready?

Other Person:

Yep.

Plug.

Half illuminate.

Person:

No.

Other Person:

Maybe one bulb?

Person:

There are 400 bulbs.

Other Person:

Happy holidays.

Electrical Status

PATIENCE: FLICKERING.

Christmas Tree Decorating

Person:

Perfect.

Other Person:

It’s leaning.

Person:

No it isn’t.

Other Person:

It definitely is.

Person:

It’s artistic.

Structural Status

TREE: FESTIVELY CROOKED.

Ornament Placement

Child:

I decorated the tree!

Parent:

Beautiful.

Parent looks.

Every ornament is on the bottom two branches.

Parent:

Very…

focused.

Child:

Thank you!

Design Status

BOTTOM-HEAVY.

Cat Enters Room

Cat:

Interesting.

Human:

No.

Cat:

Shiny.

Human:

Don’t.

Cat:

Dangly.

Human:

I mean it.

Cat:

Challenge accepted.

Tree Status

THREAT DETECTED.

2:13 A.M.

CRASH.

Human:

…

Cat:

…

Human:

Seriously?

Cat:

Gravity.

Investigation Status

SUSPECT: UNREMORSEFUL.

Dog Meets Tree

Dog:

New indoor tree?

Human:

Yes.

Dog:

For me?

Human:

No.

Dog:

Interesting.

Human:

Don’t even think about it.

Security Status

TREE UNDER SURVEILLANCE.

Christmas Shopping

Friend:

Finished shopping?

You:

No.

Friend:

It’s December 22.

You:

I know what date it is.

Friend:

Just checking.

You:

Don’t.

Shopping Status

PANIC: FESTIVE.

The Mall

Shopper:

Excuse me.

You:

Sorry.

Shopper:

Excuse me.

You:

Sorry.

Shopper:

EXCUSE ME.

You:

WE’RE ALL TRYING TO ESCAPE.

Retail Status

CROWD DENSITY: EXTREME.

Parking Lot

Driver:

Spot!

Other Driver:

Mine!

Driver:

I saw it first!

Other Driver:

I had my blinker on!

Holiday Spirit

TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED.

The Checkout Line

You:

How long is this line?

Employee:

About 30 minutes.

You:

Okay.

Person Behind You:

Are you in line?

You look at 27 people ahead.

You:

No.

We’re starting a parade.

Patience Status

LOW.

Online Shopping

Website:

Order by December 15 for guaranteed Christmas delivery.

You:

Perfect.

Calendar:

December 20.

You:

Less perfect.

Shipping Status

OPTIMISM: REQUIRED.

Package Tracking

Tracking:

Label created.

You:

Okay.

Tracking:

Label created.

You:

Yes.

Tracking:

Label created.

You:

IT HAS BEEN FOUR DAYS.

Delivery Status

PACKAGE: PHILOSOPHICAL CONCEPT.

Christmas Music

Store:

JINGLE—

You:

Okay.

Store:

HOLIDAY SONG NUMBER TWO.

You:

Fine.

Store:

HOLIDAY SONG NUMBER THREE.

You:

Sure.

Store:

SAME SONG AS BEFORE BUT DIFFERENT VERSION.

You:

Interesting.

Three Hours Later

Store:

HOLIDAY SONG NUMBER 47.

You:

I CAN HEAR BELLS WHEN THERE ARE NO BELLS.

Audio Status

FESTIVE SATURATION: ACHIEVED.

The Office Holiday Party

Coworker:

Nice shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Coworker:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

You:

Current status.

Coworker looks around crowded party.

Coworker:

Fair.

Office Status

SHIRT: ACCURATE.

Mandatory Fun

Boss:

Everybody having fun?

Employees:

YES.

Boss:

That didn’t sound convincing.

Employees louder:

YES!

Morale Status

VOLUNTARILY MANDATORY.

Secret Gift Exchange

Coworker:

Who got me?

Everyone:

…

Coworker opens bizarre gift.

Coworker:

Oh.

How…

interesting.

Gift Status

IDENTITY OF GIVER: BEST KEPT SECRET.

Office Potluck

Coworker:

Who made this?

Everyone:

…

Coworker:

Anyone?

Everyone suddenly fascinated by plates.

Culinary Status

AUTHOR: ANONYMOUS.

Ugly Sweater Party

Friend:

Where’s your ugly sweater?

You:

I wore this instead.

Friend:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

You:

More breathable.

Friend:

And sarcastic.

You:

Exactly.

Fashion Status

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Family Gathering

Relative:

So…

You:

No.

Relative:

I haven’t asked anything yet.

You:

I know where this is going.

Defensive Status

PREEMPTIVE.

The Question

Relative:

Are you seeing anyone?

You:

Pass the potatoes.

Relative:

I’m just asking.

You:

And I’m just requesting potatoes.

Dinner Status

SUBJECT: REDIRECTED.

Another Relative

Relative:

So when are you—

You:

Pie?

Relative:

What?

You:

Would you like pie?

Relative:

I was asking—

You:

PIE.

Conversation Status

SUCCESSFULLY TERMINATED.

Holiday Dinner

Person:

Can we avoid arguing this year?

Everyone:

Absolutely.

Three minutes later.

Someone:

Well, I think—

Everyone:

NO.

Family Status

PEACE: FRAGILE.

The Thermostat

Guest:

It’s cold in here.

Host:

It’s 72.

Guest:

I’m freezing.

Another Guest:

I’m hot.

Host:

Nobody touch anything.

Climate Status

NEGOTIATIONS: FAILED.

The Kitchen

Cook:

Dinner’s almost ready.

Guest:

Need help?

Cook:

No.

Guest:

Are you sure?

Cook:

Yes.

Guest:

What if I—

Cook:

OUT.

Kitchen Status

SECURE.

The Turkey

Person:

Is it done?

Cook:

I think so.

Person:

You think?

Cook:

Do you want to take responsibility for it?

Person:

Looks perfect.

Culinary Status

CONFIDENCE: RESTORED.

Holiday Cookies

Baker:

These were supposed to be snowmen.

Friend:

What are they?

Baker:

Apparently haunted potatoes.

Friend:

Still delicious.

Baking Status

AESTHETICS: FAILED.

TASTE: SUCCESS.

Gingerbread House

Box:

Easy assembly!

You:

Liar.

Ten Minutes Later

Roof collapses.

You:

Of course.

Construction Status

BUILDING CONDEMNED.

Gingerbread Contractor

Friend:

Use more icing.

You:

I’ve used half the bag.

Friend:

Structural icing.

You:

That’s not a thing.

Friend:

It is now.

Construction Status

BUILDING CODE: DELICIOUS.

Wrapping Presents

You:

Perfect.

Tape:

No.

You:

Where’s the end?

Tape:

Secret.

You:

I can see you.

Tape:

Can you?

Wrapping Status

HOSTILE.

The Scissors

You:

Where are the scissors?

Family:

…

You:

I JUST HAD THEM.

Family:

…

You:

Nobody move.

Search Status

EMERGENCY.

Wrapping Paper

You:

I measured this perfectly.

Paper:

Three inches short.

You:

How?

Paper:

Christmas magic.

Gift Status

PATCH JOB: IMMINENT.

Gift Wrapping at Midnight

You:

Done.

You look across room.

One present remains.

You:

Who are you?

Present:

Surprise.

Wrapping Status

FINAL BOSS DISCOVERED.

Christmas Eve

Family:

Let’s watch a Christmas movie!

You:

Great.

Family:

Which one?

Everyone names different movie.

Movie Status

NEGOTIATIONS BEGIN.

Twenty Minutes Later

Family:

We still haven’t chosen.

You:

At this point the argument IS the movie.

Entertainment Status

TRADITION: MAINTAINED.

Christmas Morning

Child:

WAKE UP!

Adult:

What time is it?

Child:

5:08!

Adult:

Go back to bed.

Child:

BUT CHRISTMAS!

Adult:

Christmas will still exist at seven.

Morning Status

NEGOTIATION: UNSUCCESSFUL.

5:11 A.M.

Child:

How about now?

Adult:

Three minutes have passed.

Child:

That’s a long time.

Sleep Status

OVER.

Present Opening

Child:

Can I open this one?

Parent:

Wait.

Child:

Now?

Wait.

Child:

Now?

Wait.

Child:

Now?

Parent:

YES.

Gift Status

RESTRAINT: EXHAUSTED.

The Batteries

Child:

It needs batteries.

Parent:

We have batteries.

Child:

What kind?

Parent looks.

Parent:

The kind we don’t have.

Christmas Status

TRADITION: COMPLETE.

The Toy Assembly

Box:

Some assembly required.

Parent:

Fine.

Three hours later.

Parent:

This is not “some.”

Assembly Status

BETRAYAL: CONFIRMED.

Instruction Manual

Step One:

Attach Part A to Part B.

Parent:

Where’s Part B?

Child:

Is this it?

Parent:

That’s Part Q.

Child:

There’s a Q?

Parent:

Apparently.

Engineering Status

CHRISTMAS MORNING: DELAYED.

Holiday Photo

Photographer:

Everybody smile!

Child One:

He’s touching me.

Child Two:

No I’m not.

Dog leaves.

Baby cries.

Grandpa blinks.

Mom:

JUST TAKE IT.

Photo Status

MEMORY: AUTHENTIC.

Matching Pajamas

Family Member:

We’re all wearing matching pajamas.

You:

Are we?

Family Member:

Yes.

You:

Was there a vote?

Family Member:

No.

Democracy Status

SUSPENDED FOR CHRISTMAS.

Holiday Social Media

Post:

Perfect Christmas morning!

Reality:

Wrapping paper everywhere.

Dog eating ribbon.

Child crying.

Coffee cold.

Someone lost a gift card.

Smoke detector beeping.

Online Status

CURATED.

Snow Day

Weather Report:

Six inches expected.

You:

Beautiful.

Six Hours Later

You:

I’ve shoveled twice.

Snow:

Cute.

Here’s six more inches.

Winter Status

BEAUTY: DECLINING.

Snowflake

Snowflake:

Aren’t we beautiful?

You:

Individually?

Yes.

Collectively?

You are blocking my driveway.

Winter Diplomacy

COMPLICATED.

Snowman

Child:

Let’s build a snowman!

Adult:

Sure.

Twenty minutes later.

Adult:

I can’t feel my fingers.

Child:

We need another snowball!

Adult:

Of course we do.

Construction Status

FROZEN.

Snowball Fight

Friend:

Truce?

You:

Truce.

Friend immediately throws snowball.

You:

BETRAYAL.

Diplomatic Status

WAR RESUMED.

The Driveway

You:

Finally cleared.

Snowplow drives past.

You:

Don’t.

Snowplow:

VRRRRRR.

Huge wall of snow appears.

You:

I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY CIVILIZATION.

Driveway Status

BACK TO ZERO.

The Weather App

App:

Feels like 12°.

You:

What is the actual temperature?

App:

26°.

You:

Then why does it feel like 12?

App:

Wind.

You:

Tell wind to stop.

Weather Status

REQUEST: IGNORED.

The Grumpy Tree Again

Snowflake:

You seem tense.

Tree:

I’m inside a glass sphere.

Snowflake:

True.

Tree:

People shake my entire world for entertainment.

Snowflake:

Also true.

Tree:

And there are approximately eight thousand of you.

Snowflake:

We’re festive!

Tree:

You’re in my branches.

Tree Status

PATIENCE: CRITICAL.

Another Shake

Tree:

WHO KEEPS DOING THAT?

Snowflakes:

WHEEEEE!

Tree:

I NEED A VACATION.

Snow Globe Status

VACATION REQUEST: DENIED.

Holiday Therapist

Therapist:

What seems to be the problem?

Tree:

I’m surrounded by snowflakes.

Therapist:

Literally?

Tree:

Extremely literally.

Diagnosis

SEASONAL OVERCROWDING.

Treatment

Therapist:

Have you tried setting boundaries?

Tree looks at glass wall.

Tree:

Yes.

They’re transparent.

Therapy Status

COMPLICATED.

The Sarcastic Friend

Friend:

This shirt made me think of you.

Recipient:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

Friend:

Yep.

Recipient:

Are you saying I’m grumpy?

Friend:

I’m saying you’re festive in your own way.

Recipient:

Good answer.

Gift Status

FRIENDSHIP: PRESERVED.

Gift for Coworker

Coworker:

You got me a Christmas shirt?

You:

Yep.

Coworker reads it.

Coworker:

You understand me.

Office Gift Status

PERFECT MATCH.

Gift for Dad

Dad:

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes.

Kid:

Thought you’d like it.

Dad:

Accurate.

Kid:

It’s July.

Dad:

Still accurate.

Dad Gift Status

APPROVED.

Gift for Mom

Mom:

Is this because I complained about Christmas shopping?

Family:

No.

Mom:

The decorations?

No.

Mom:

The crowds?

No.

Mom:

The music?

Family:

Maybe all of it.

Mom:

Fair.

Mom Gift Status

ACCEPTED.

Gift for Husband

Husband:

You think I’m grumpy?

Partner:

Festively sarcastic.

Husband:

Better.

Relationship Status

DIPLOMATIC WORDING: SUCCESSFUL.

Gift for Wife

Wife:

Snowflakes?

Partner:

Look at the tree’s face.

Wife:

That’s me at the office holiday party.

Partner:

Exactly.

Wife:

I love it.

Gift Status

NAILED IT.

The Introvert

Friend:

Coming to the Christmas party?

Introvert:

How many people?

Friend:

About 40.

Introvert looks down at shirt.

Friend:

Right.

Forgot who I was asking.

Social Status

DECLINED.

The Holiday Extrovert

Extrovert:

PARTY!

Introvert:

No.

Extrovert:

COOKIES!

Introvert:

Maybe.

Extrovert:

HOT COCOA!

Introvert:

Continue.

Negotiation Status

PROGRESS.

The Christmas Skeptic

Friend:

You hate Christmas.

You:

Incorrect.

Friend:

Your shirt—

You:

I like Christmas.

Friend:

Okay.

You:

I dislike chaos disguised as mandatory joy.

Friend:

That’s remarkably specific.

Holiday Status

COMPLICATED BUT FESTIVE.

The Christmas Lover

Friend:

But I LOVE Christmas!

You:

Great.

Friend:

Lights!

You:

Nice.

Friend:

Music!

You:

Sure.

Friend:

Parties!

You:

Okay.

Friend:

Snow!

You:

Fine.

Friend:

EVERYTHING!

You:

And this is why I’m wearing the shirt.

Friendship Status

OPPOSITES ATTRACT.

The Holiday Realist

Christmas can be wonderful.

Lights.

Cookies.

Family.

Friends.

Movies.

Presents.

Traditions.

Hot cocoa.

Decorations.

Snow.

Warm blankets.

Cold nights.

Good food.

Bad sweaters.

Terrible gift wrapping.

Laughing until somebody snorts.

Watching the same movie for the hundredth time.

Finding an ornament you forgot you owned.

Remembering people you love.

Making new traditions.

Keeping old ones.

And occasionally hiding in another room because you’ve heard enough bells for one evening.

That’s Christmas too.

You don’t have to be:

MERRY!

BRIGHT!

JOYFUL!

FESTIVE!

MAGICAL!

every second of December.

Sometimes your holiday spirit looks more like:

“I LOVE YOU ALL, BUT PLEASE STOP TALKING FOR FIVE MINUTES.”

And that’s exactly where this shirt comes in.

Help! I’m Surrounded By Snowflakes Unisex T-Shirt

Perfect for:

Christmas lovers with sarcasm.

Holiday realists.

Winter complainers.

Introverts.

Extroverts who enjoy sarcasm.

Office jokesters.

Family comedians.

Christmas party survivors.

Ugly sweater party rebels.

Holiday shoppers.

Last-minute shoppers.

People who finished shopping in November and won’t stop telling everyone.

People who haven’t started shopping on December 22.

People who hate crowded malls.

People who hate parking lots.

People who hate tangled Christmas lights.

People who hate finding the one dead bulb.

People who love Christmas cookies.

People who accidentally create haunted-potato Christmas cookies.

People who have built structurally questionable gingerbread houses.

People who have lost the scissors while wrapping gifts.

People who have lost the tape.

People who have run out of wrapping paper.

People who have wrapped presents at midnight.

People who discovered one last unwrapped present after declaring themselves finished.

People who love snow.

People who love snow until they have to shovel it.

People who have cleared a driveway only for the snowplow to immediately undo their work.

People who love snow globes.

People who wonder how the tree inside the snow globe feels about all this.

People who need personal space.

People who attend family gatherings armed with sarcasm.

People who have survived awkward holiday questions.

People who know pie can end almost any uncomfortable conversation.

People who have worn matching family pajamas under protest.

People who have taken chaotic family Christmas photos.

People who have assembled toys on Christmas morning.

People who have discovered the batteries are not included.

People who have listened to enough holiday music by mid-December.

People who enjoy festive humor.

People who prefer snark with their Christmas cheer.

People who believe being festive and slightly irritated can coexist.

People looking for a funny Christmas shirt.

People looking for a sarcastic Christmas shirt.

People looking for a snow globe shirt.

People looking for a funny snowflake shirt.

People looking for a grumpy Christmas tree shirt.

People looking for a holiday humor tee.

People looking for a Christmas gag gift.

People looking for a funny coworker Christmas gift.

People looking for an alternative to an ugly Christmas sweater.

And anyone whose December mood can be summarized as:

HELP! I’M SURROUNDED BY SNOWFLAKES.

Not angry.

Not anti-Christmas.

Just…

a little crowded.

Because there’s a point every holiday season when you’ve heard enough music.

Wrapped enough presents.

Untangled enough lights.

Baked enough cookies.

Answered enough questions.

Attended enough gatherings.

Driven through enough traffic.

Looked for enough parking spaces.

And heard:

“ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS?”

enough times.

At that point…

you understand the tree.

The tree isn’t trying to ruin Christmas.

The tree is tired.

The tree is overstimulated.

The tree has snowflakes in its branches.

The tree has been shaken repeatedly by strangers.

The tree has nowhere to go.

The tree simply wants a moment.

BE THE TREE.

Well…

maybe don’t actually be trapped inside a snow globe.

But spiritually?

BE THE TREE.

Final Holiday Survival Status Report

CHRISTMAS TREE: PRESENT.

TREE EXPRESSION: UNIMPRESSED.

SNOW GLOBE: SEALED.

SNOWFLAKES: NUMEROUS.

PERSONAL SPACE: ZERO.

FIRST SHAKE: SURVIVED.

SECOND SHAKE: UNNECESSARY.

THIRD SHAKE: RUDE.

TREE PATIENCE: DECLINING.

HOLIDAY CHEER: PRESENT BUT COMPLICATED.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: TANGLED.

LIGHTS WORKING: HALF.

ORNAMENTS: HUNG.

TREE: SLIGHTLY CROOKED.

CAT: WATCHING.

TREE SAFETY: QUESTIONABLE.

DOG: ALSO WATCHING.

TREE SAFETY: WORSE.

SHOPPING: IN PROGRESS.

PARKING SPACE: UNAVAILABLE.

CHECKOUT LINE: MASSIVE.

ONLINE PACKAGE: “LABEL CREATED.”

DELIVERY DATE: OPTIMISTIC.

CHRISTMAS MUSIC: PLAYING.

SAME SONG: HEARD SEVEN TIMES.

OFFICE PARTY: ATTENDED.

MANDATORY FUN: COMPLETED.

FAMILY GATHERING: ACTIVE.

AWKWARD QUESTION: DEFLECTED.

PIE: DEPLOYED.

HOLIDAY DINNER: SURVIVED.

GINGERBREAD HOUSE: STRUCTURALLY UNSOUND.

COOKIES: DELICIOUS BUT VISUALLY CONCERNING.

WRAPPING PAPER: TOO SHORT.

TAPE: MISSING.

SCISSORS: ALSO MISSING.

FINAL PRESENT: SOMEHOW STILL UNWRAPPED.

CHRISTMAS MOVIE: STILL BEING DEBATED.

MATCHING PAJAMAS: MANDATORY.

FAMILY PHOTO: CHAOTIC.

BATTERIES: NOT INCLUDED.

CORRECT BATTERIES: NOT IN HOUSE.

SNOW: BEAUTIFUL.

DRIVEWAY: NOT BEAUTIFUL.

SHOVELING: COMPLETE.

MORE SNOW: IMMEDIATE.

SNOWPLOW: BETRAYAL.

HOLIDAY SOCIAL BATTERY: LOW.

SARCASM: FULLY CHARGED.

SOFT BREATHABLE FABRIC: READY.

RELAXED UNISEX FIT: READY.

CHRISTMAS PARTY STATUS: READY.

UGLY SWEATER ALTERNATIVE STATUS: READY.

GAG GIFT STATUS: READY.

HOLIDAY REALIST STATUS: CONFIRMED.

SNOWFLAKES: STILL EVERYWHERE.

TREE: STILL GRUMPY.

CURRENT STATUS: FESTIVE, SARCASTIC, AND SLIGHTLY OVER IT.

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This heavy cotton tee has the classic cotton look and feel. Casual elegance will make it an instant favorite in everyone’s wardrobe.

.: Classic fit

.: 100% Cotton (fibre content may vary for different colors)

.: Light fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))

.: Tear away label

.: Runs true to size

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Width, in	17.99	20.00	21.97	23.98	25.98	27.99	30.04	31.97
Length, in	28.00	29.00	30.00	31.00	32.00	33.00	34.00	35.00
Sleeve length, in	7.24	7.76	8.23	8.74	9.25	9.76	10.24	10.75