Support the Troops – Unisex T-Shirt – Funny Space Trooper – Sci-Fi Humor

TROOPS: SUPPORTED.

ARMOR: POLISHED.

BLASTERS: READY.

FORMATION: IMPRESSIVE.

SPACE STATION: OPERATIONAL-ISH.

REBEL ACTIVITY: SUSPICIOUS.

AIM: WE’RE NOT DISCUSSING IT.

SUPPORT THE TROOPS.

Specifically…

these troops.

The ones in white armor.

The ones patrolling endless corridors aboard enormous space stations.

The ones standing guard beside doors nobody ever seems to use.

The ones searching for suspicious robots.

The ones working for intimidating commanders who consider employee morale somebody else’s problem.

And especially the ones whose enormous battle station keeps experiencing what management insists on calling:

“MINOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.”

The Support the Troops Unisex T-Shirt puts a hilarious sci-fi spin on a familiar phrase with three white-armored space troopers standing in formation beneath the bold words “SUPPORT THE TROOPS.”

It’s retro space-opera humor for anyone who loves aliens, spaceships, laser battles, mysterious planets, futuristic soldiers, enormous orbital bases, and jokes about anonymous henchmen just trying to survive another shift.

Because behind every massive galactic regime…

there are thousands of ordinary employees wondering:

“DO I GET OVERTIME FOR THIS?”

Why You’ll Love It:

• Clever Sci-Fi Humor – The familiar “Support the Troops” phrase gets an unexpected futuristic twist.
• Three Armored Space Troopers – A bold graphic made for fans of retro science fiction, space adventures, and cosmic comedy.
• Comfortable Unisex Style – Soft and casual for movie nights, conventions, gaming sessions, coffee runs, or everyday nerdy style.
• Perfect for Space-Opera Fans – Spaceships, laser weapons, mysterious planets, galactic conflicts, and questionable futuristic management.
• Conversation-Starting Design – The joke gets even better once someone notices exactly which troops are being supported.
• Great Geek Gift – Fun for sci-fi lovers, gamers, collectors, convention fans, space nerds, and lovers of offbeat humor.
• Accuracy Not Guaranteed – The shirt looks great. Whether the troops can hit anything is another matter entirely.

Galactic Recruitment Office

Recruiter:

Looking for an exciting career?

Applicant:

Maybe.

Recruiter:

Do you enjoy travel?

Applicant:

Sure.

Recruiter:

Teamwork?

Applicant:

Yes.

Recruiter:

Matching uniforms?

Applicant:

I guess.

Recruiter:

Potential deployment to mysterious planets?

Applicant:

Sounds interesting.

Recruiter:

Excellent.

Applicant:

What’s the survival rate?

Recruiter:

NEXT QUESTION.

Recruitment Status

APPLICATION: PENDING.

Orientation Day

Instructor:

Welcome to the Galactic Trooper Corps.

Recruit:

Thank you.

Instructor:

Here’s your armor.

Recruit:

Nice.

Instructor:

Here’s your helmet.

Recruit:

I can’t see very well.

Instructor:

You’ll get used to it.

Recruit:

Will I?

Instructor:

Probably.

Equipment Status

VISIBILITY: QUESTIONABLE.

First Day on the Battle Station

Trooper:

Wow.

Other Trooper:

First day?

Trooper:

Yeah.

Other Trooper:

Impressive, isn’t it?

Trooper:

It’s enormous.

Other Trooper:

You’ll spend most of your shift walking through corridors.

Trooper:

Doing what?

Other Trooper:

Mostly looking concerned.

Employment Status

CAREER: LAUNCHED.

The Corridor

Trooper One:

What are we guarding?

Trooper Two:

This corridor.

Trooper One:

What’s in it?

Trooper Two:

More corridor.

Trooper One:

What’s at the end?

Trooper Two:

Another corridor.

Security Status

CORRIDOR: EXTREMELY SECURE.

Patrol Duty

Trooper One:

Anything?

Trooper Two:

Nothing.

Trooper One:

You?

Trooper Two:

Also nothing.

Trooper One:

Good patrol.

Mission Status

NOTHING: SUCCESSFULLY OBSERVED.

The Armor

Trooper:

Does this come in another color?

Quartermaster:

No.

Trooper:

Black?

No.

Trooper:

Gray?

No.

Trooper:

Anything that doesn’t immediately show dirt?

Quartermaster:

No.

Trooper:

Excellent.

Uniform Status

COLOR OPTIONS: ONE.

The Helmet

Trooper:

I can’t see.

Quartermaster:

Adjust your helmet.

Trooper adjusts helmet.

Trooper:

Still can’t see.

Quartermaster:

Perfect.

Equipment Status

GALACTIC STANDARD ACHIEVED.

Target Practice

Instructor:

Aim at the target.

Trooper fires.

Misses.

Instructor:

Again.

Misses.

Instructor:

Again.

Misses.

Instructor:

Interesting.

Trooper:

Wind?

Instructor:

We’re indoors.

Trooper:

Space wind?

Instructor:

That’s not helping.

Training Status

EXCUSE: CREATIVE.

One More Try

Instructor:

Slow down.

Breathe.

Focus.

Aim.

Fire.

Trooper fires.

Misses.

Instructor:

Okay.

Trooper:

Okay good?

Instructor:

Okay as in we’re moving on.

Qualification Status

STANDARDS: FLEXIBLE.

Performance Review

Supervisor:

Let’s discuss your accuracy.

Trooper:

Do we have to?

Supervisor:

You fired 37 shots.

Trooper:

Correct.

Supervisor:

How many targets did you hit?

Trooper:

Define “target.”

Performance Status

MEETING: UNCOMFORTABLE.

Galactic HR

HR:

Your supervisor says you’re having difficulty hitting targets.

Trooper:

That’s unfair.

HR:

How?

Trooper:

Everybody is having difficulty hitting targets.

HR:

That’s…

actually a good point.

Organizational Status

SYSTEMIC ISSUE: IDENTIFIED.

Support the Troops

Trooper:

Finally.

Someone appreciates us.

Other Trooper:

What?

Trooper points at shirt.

Other Trooper:

Aww.

Trooper:

I’m putting this in the employee newsletter.

Morale Status

IMPROVED.

The Break Room

Trooper:

Whose space milk is this?

Other Trooper:

Mine.

Trooper:

It’s been here for two weeks.

Other Trooper:

I’ve been stationed off-world.

Trooper:

I’m throwing it away.

Other Trooper:

Don’t touch my milk.

Workplace Status

BREAK ROOM: HOSTILE.

The Refrigerator

Sign:

PLEASE LABEL YOUR FOOD.

Trooper:

Who keeps stealing my lunch?

Other Trooper:

Did you label it?

Trooper:

Yes.

Other Trooper:

What did you write?

Trooper:

My identification number.

Other Trooper:

The one that’s nearly identical to everyone else’s?

Trooper:

…

That’s a fair point.

Lunch Status

WHEREABOUTS: UNKNOWN.

Galactic Coffee

Trooper:

Coffee machine’s broken.

Other Trooper:

Again?

Trooper:

Yep.

Other Trooper:

We’re doomed.

Trooper:

We work on a heavily armed orbital battle station.

Other Trooper:

Exactly.

We should have a better coffee machine.

Morale Status

CRITICAL.

Galactic IT

Trooper:

My terminal isn’t working.

IT:

Have you restarted it?

Trooper:

Yes.

IT:

Actually restarted it?

Trooper:

…

IT:

Restart it.

Technical Status

CENTURIES IN THE FUTURE.

IT SUPPORT: EXACTLY THE SAME.

Space Station Wi-Fi

Trooper:

Wi-Fi’s down.

Officer:

Again?

Trooper:

Yep.

Officer:

Contact IT.

Trooper:

Can’t.

Officer:

Why?

Trooper:

Wi-Fi’s down.

Communications Status

PROBLEM: SELF-REINFORCING.

The Elevator

Trooper One:

What level?

Trooper Two:

Detention.

Trooper One:

Which detention level?

Trooper Two:

I don’t know.

Trooper One:

How many levels does this place have?

Trooper Two:

Too many.

Navigation Status

SPACE STATION: NEEDS BETTER SIGNAGE.

The Map

Trooper:

We’re lost.

Other Trooper:

We’re not lost.

Trooper:

Where are we?

Other Trooper:

Battle station.

Trooper:

Specifically?

Other Trooper:

…

We’re lost.

Navigation Status

GALACTIC GPS: UNAVAILABLE.

The Automatic Door

Trooper:

Why does every door make that dramatic sound?

Other Trooper:

What sound?

Door:

PSSSHHHHT.

Trooper:

That.

Other Trooper:

We’re in space.

Everything has to sound dramatic.

Door Status

DRAMA: MAXIMUM.

The Commander Arrives

Trooper:

Oh no.

Other Trooper:

What?

Trooper:

Commander.

Other Trooper:

Act busy.

Both immediately begin pressing random buttons.

Workplace Status

MANAGEMENT: PRESENT.

The Commander

Commander:

Trooper.

Trooper:

Yes, sir?

Commander:

What are you doing?

Trooper:

Security inspection.

Commander:

Of what?

Trooper:

Buttons.

Employment Status

FUTURE: UNCERTAIN.

Staff Meeting

Commander:

Our failure is unacceptable.

Officer:

Yes, sir.

Commander:

Someone will answer for this.

Entire room suddenly becomes extremely interested in the floor.

Meeting Status

VOLUNTEERS: ZERO.

Galactic HR Memo

REMINDER:

Intimidating coworkers may negatively affect employee morale.

Commander:

Noted.

HR Status

POLICY ENFORCEMENT: QUESTIONABLE.

Inspection Day

Officer:

Armor polished?

Trooper:

Yes.

Officer:

Blaster cleaned?

Yes.

Officer:

Boots polished?

Yes.

Officer:

Can you hit anything?

Trooper:

This feels personal.

Inspection Status

QUESTION: UNNECESSARY.

Searching for Robots

Officer:

We’re looking for two robots.

Trooper:

Description?

Officer:

One tall.

Trooper:

Okay.

Officer:

One short.

Trooper:

Should be easy.

Narrator:

It was not easy.

Mission Status

ROBOTS: STILL MISSING.

Desert Planet Patrol

Trooper:

It’s hot.

Other Trooper:

Yep.

Trooper:

Whose idea was white armor?

Other Trooper:

Management.

Trooper:

Of course.

Environmental Status

SAND: EVERYWHERE.

More Sand

Trooper:

There’s sand in my boot.

Other Trooper:

There’s sand in my helmet.

Trooper:

How?

Other Trooper:

Desert planets find a way.

Armor Status

SAND RESISTANCE: POOR.

Spaceport Patrol

Trooper:

See anything suspicious?

Other Trooper:

Everything looks suspicious.

Trooper:

Good point.

Security Status

ENTIRE SPACEPORT: QUESTIONABLE.

The Space Cantina

Trooper:

Think we can stop for lunch?

Other Trooper:

We’re on patrol.

Trooper:

Five minutes?

Other Trooper:

Fine.

Fifteen Minutes Later

Officer:

Where are you?

Trooper:

Investigating.

Mission Status

TACOS: INVESTIGATED.

Searching for Rebels

Officer:

Find the rebels.

Trooper:

Where?

Officer:

Everywhere.

Trooper:

That’s a large search area.

Officer:

Get moving.

Trooper:

Could we narrow it down to a hemisphere?

Mission Status

INSTRUCTIONS: VAGUE.

The Rebel Base

Trooper:

Found them!

Officer:

Excellent.

Trooper:

What now?

Officer:

Attack.

Trooper:

Right.

I preferred the searching part.

Combat Status

MORALE: ADJUSTED DOWNWARD.

Trooper One

Trooper:

Do you ever wonder if we’re working for the bad guys?

Other Trooper:

Our organization is called the Galactic Regime.

Trooper:

Yeah.

Other Trooper:

We occupy planets.

Trooper:

Right.

Other Trooper:

We have a gigantic battle station.

Trooper:

True.

Other Trooper:

It’s covered in weapons.

Trooper:

Okay.

Other Trooper:

And our uniforms have skull-like helmets.

Trooper:

When you list it like that…

Ethical Status

CONCERNS: DEVELOPING.

Galactic Public Relations

Reporter:

Why does the battle station look so threatening?

Spokesperson:

Security.

Reporter:

Why is it covered in weapons?

Spokesperson:

More security.

Reporter:

Why is everyone wearing ominous armor?

Spokesperson:

Brand consistency.

PR Status

ANSWER: TECHNICALLY PROVIDED.

Battle Station Marketing

Executive:

We need a powerful name.

Employee:

Orbital Defense Platform?

Executive:

Boring.

Employee:

Galactic Security Sphere?

Executive:

Too corporate.

Employee:

Doom Orb?

Executive:

Too obvious.

Employee:

We’re really struggling here.

Branding Status

FOCUS GROUP REQUIRED.

The Ventilation Shaft

Engineer:

We should talk about this ventilation shaft.

Manager:

What about it?

Engineer:

It seems potentially vulnerable.

Manager:

How vulnerable?

Engineer:

Potentially very.

Manager:

Can we discuss this after lunch?

Engineering Status

MEETING: POSTPONED.

Later

Manager:

What was that thing about the ventilation shaft?

Engineer:

…

Manager:

What?

Engineer:

Nothing.

Project Status

LESSONS LEARNED: EXPENSIVE.

Space Station Insurance

Agent:

And what exactly happened?

Officer:

Explosion.

Agent:

Cause?

Officer:

Small fighter craft.

Agent:

A small fighter destroyed the entire station?

Officer:

It’s complicated.

Agent:

I’m going to need additional documentation.

Claim Status

PREMIUM: INCREASING.

Battle Station Two Planning Meeting

Engineer:

Okay.

Important question.

Manager:

What?

Engineer:

Ventilation shafts.

Entire room:

…

Engineer:

I’m just saying.

Engineering Status

PAST EXPERIENCE: NOTED.

The New Trooper

Recruit:

Where am I stationed?

Officer:

New battle station.

Recruit:

What happened to the old one?

Officer:

…

Recruit:

What?

Officer:

Nothing.

Recruitment Status

DISCLOSURE: LIMITED.

Forest Planet Assignment

Trooper:

Trees?

Other Trooper:

Yep.

Trooper:

We’re fighting in a forest?

Yep.

Trooper:

Finally.

No sand.

Five Minutes Later

Trooper:

What are those little furry creatures?

Other Trooper:

Don’t worry about them.

Mission Status

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: DETECTED.

Forest Creature Encounter

Trooper:

They’re tiny.

Other Trooper:

Yep.

Trooper:

We’re heavily armored.

Yep.

Trooper:

We have advanced weapons.

Yep.

Trooper:

This should be easy.

Narrator:

It was not easy.

Tactical Status

CONFIDENCE: PREMATURE.

Updated Training Manual

Chapter One:

Never underestimate small furry forest creatures.

Trooper:

Was this always in here?

Instructor:

Recent revision.

Training Status

LESSON LEARNED LATE.

The Hover Bike

Trooper:

Fast.

Other Trooper:

Very.

Trooper:

Safe?

Other Trooper:

Define safe.

Transportation Status

HELMET: ALREADY PROVIDED.

Transportation Department

Employee:

Any previous accidents?

Trooper:

Hover bike?

Employee:

Yes.

Trooper:

How much time do you have?

Insurance Status

COMPLICATED.

Galactic Payroll

Trooper:

Is overtime approved?

Officer:

No.

Trooper:

We’ve been chasing rebels for fourteen hours.

Officer:

Still no.

Trooper:

Can I leave?

Officer:

Also no.

Employment Status

NOT WINNING BEST WORKPLACE.

Benefits Package

Recruit:

Retirement?

Recruiter:

Optimistic.

Recruit:

Medical?

Recruiter:

Armor.

Recruit:

Vacation?

Recruiter:

Deployment.

Recruit:

Dental?

Recruiter:

Helmet.

Recruitment Status

BENEFITS: NEED WORK.

Employee Survey

Question:

Would you recommend your current galactic employer?

Trooper:

Is this anonymous?

Officer:

Absolutely.

Trooper:

Really?

Officer:

We have your identification number.

Trooper:

Then yes.

Wonderful workplace.

Five stars.

Employee Satisfaction

TOTALLY VOLUNTARY.

Casual Friday

Trooper:

Can we wear something else?

Officer:

No.

Trooper:

Then what makes it casual Friday?

Officer:

Morale.

Trooper:

That doesn’t make sense.

Officer:

Correct.

Dress Code Status

ARMOR: MANDATORY.

Laundry Day

Trooper:

How do you keep yours so white?

Other Trooper:

Bleach.

Trooper:

Mine keeps getting laser marks.

Other Trooper:

Occupational hazard.

Uniform Status

WHITE ARMOR: HIGH MAINTENANCE.

The Armor Closet

Trooper:

Which one’s mine?

Other Trooper:

They all look identical.

Trooper:

Exactly.

Identification Status

NAME TAGS: WOULD HELP.

The Sci-Fi Fan

Friend:

Support the Troops?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

Are those space troopers?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

That’s terrible.

You:

You mean excellent.

Friend:

Unfortunately, yes.

Humor Status

JOKE: UNDERSTOOD.

The Casual Observer

Stranger:

Support the Troops.

You:

Yep.

Stranger looks closer.

Stranger:

Wait…

Are those futuristic space soldiers?

You:

Yep.

Stranger:

Okay.

That’s funny.

Recognition Status

DELAYED REACTION: SUCCESSFUL.

The Coffee Shop

Barista:

Nice shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Barista:

Support the Troops?

You:

Look closer.

Barista:

…

Ohhh.

Space troops.

You:

Exactly.

Coffee Status

FELLOW NERD: POTENTIALLY IDENTIFIED.

The Office

Coworker:

Support the Troops?

You:

Yep.

Coworker:

Space troopers?

Yep.

Coworker:

That’s ridiculous.

You:

Thank you.

Workplace Status

COMPLIMENT: ACCEPTED.

Casual Friday

Manager:

Interesting shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Manager:

Sci-fi?

You:

Very.

Manager:

Support the Troops?

You:

Exactly.

Manager:

Okay.

That’s pretty clever.

Dress Code Status

PASSED.

The Convention

Fan:

Love the shirt.

You:

Thanks.

Fan:

Supporting improved working conditions for anonymous space henchmen?

You:

Finally.

Someone understands.

Galactic Labor Status

MOVEMENT: GROWING.

Trooper Union Meeting

Trooper:

We have demands.

Officer:

Such as?

Trooper:

Better helmet visibility.

Officer:

Denied.

Trooper:

Better target training.

Denied.

Trooper:

Working coffee machine.

Officer:

…

Trooper:

We’re serious.

Negotiation Status

COFFEE: POTENTIAL BREAKTHROUGH.

The Sci-Fi Marathon

Friend:

Which movie are we watching?

You:

All of them.

Friend:

How long will that take?

You:

Don’t ask questions you aren’t emotionally prepared to have answered.

Marathon Status

SNACKS: REQUIRED.

The Collector

Friend:

Another sci-fi shirt?

You:

Yep.

Friend:

How many do you have?

You:

That’s classified galactic information.

Collection Status

QUANTITY: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

The Gamer

Friend:

Troopers or rebels?

You:

Depends.

Friend:

On what?

You:

Which side has better equipment.

Allegiance Status

PRACTICAL.

The Cosplayer

Armored Cosplayer:

Nice shirt.

You:

Nice armor.

Cosplayer:

Thanks.

You:

Can you see in that?

Cosplayer:

…

Next question.

Visibility Status

MYSTERY: CONTINUES.

The Space Trooper Fan

Friend:

People always make fun of armored space troops.

You:

Yep.

Friend:

They deserve more respect.

You:

Exactly.

Friend:

Support the troops.

You:

Support the troops.

Solidarity Status

ESTABLISHED.

Trooper Therapy

Therapist:

What brings you in?

Trooper:

People keep making jokes about my aim.

Therapist:

And how does that make you feel?

Trooper:

Targeted.

Therapist:

…

Trooper:

Too much?

Therapist:

Actually, that was pretty good.

Emotional Status

BREAKTHROUGH: ACHIEVED.

Trooper Dating Profile

OCCUPATION: Galactic security.

HOBBIES: Long walks through corridors.

INTERESTS: Order, matching armor, target practice.

LOOKING FOR: Someone who doesn’t ask about my accuracy statistics.

Relationship Status

MATCHES: LIMITED.

Trooper Parent

Child:

What do you do at work?

Trooper:

Protect the galaxy.

Child:

From what?

Trooper:

Rebels.

Child:

Did you catch any?

Trooper:

Go ask your mother.

Career Status

DETAILS: CLASSIFIED.

Bring Your Child to Work Day

Child:

Wow!

Trooper:

Pretty cool, huh?

Child:

Why are there so many hallways?

Trooper:

Nobody knows.

Child:

Do you know where we’re going?

Trooper:

Absolutely.

Child:

Really?

Trooper:

No.

Parenting Status

HONESTY: EVENTUALLY.

Galactic Family Dinner

Partner:

How was work?

Trooper:

Fine.

Partner:

Anything happen?

Trooper:

Rebel attack.

Partner:

Again?

Trooper:

Yep.

Partner:

Did you hit anything?

Trooper:

Can we please just eat?

Dinner Status

SUBJECT: CHANGED.

The Gift

Recipient:

Support the Troops?

You:

Look closer.

Recipient:

…

SPACE TROOPERS!

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Okay.

That’s fantastic.

Gift Status

MISSION: SUCCESS.

Sci-Fi Fan Gift

Recipient:

You got me a space trooper shirt?

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

Support the Troops.

You:

Yep.

Recipient:

I hate how much I love this.

You:

That’s the goal.

Gift Status

NERD JOY: MAXIMUM.

Gift for Dad

Dad:

Support the Troops?

Kid:

Look closer.

Dad:

Space troopers.

Kid:

Yep.

Dad:

That’s hilarious.

Parenting Status

NERD LEGACY: SECURE.

Gift for Husband

Husband:

Another sci-fi shirt?

Partner:

Look at it.

Husband:

…

Support the Troops.

Partner:

Yep.

Husband:

I’m wearing this immediately.

Relationship Status

GIFT CHOICE: EXCELLENT.

Gift for Boyfriend

Boyfriend:

Space troops?

Partner:

Three of them.

Boyfriend:

Support the Troops?

Partner:

Yep.

Boyfriend:

You understand me.

Relationship Status

COMPATIBILITY: HIGH.

Gift for the Sci-Fi Nerd

Recipient:

This is so stupid.

You:

Thank you.

Recipient:

I mean that affectionately.

You:

I know.

Recipient:

I’m wearing it tomorrow.

Gift Status

EXACTLY RIGHT.

Support the Troops Unisex T-Shirt

Perfect for:

Sci-fi fans.

Space-opera fans.

Retro-futurism fans.

Armored space-trooper fans.

Alien enthusiasts.

Space nerds.

Movie geeks.

Gamers.

Collectors.

Cosplayers.

Convention attendees.

Comic-shop regulars.

Movie-marathon champions.

People who love futuristic armor.

People who love laser battles.

People who love giant spaceships.

People who love ridiculous battle stations.

People who appreciate galactic bureaucracy jokes.

People who appreciate workplace humor.

People who enjoy henchman humor.

People who appreciate subtle nerd jokes.

People who appreciate extremely unsubtle nerd jokes.

People who believe anonymous henchmen deserve character development.

People who think futuristic helmets should have better visibility.

People who think gigantic space stations should have maps.

People who think orbital fortresses should have fewer suspicious ventilation shafts.

People who believe every futuristic battle station deserves decent Wi-Fi.

People who believe the break-room coffee machine should always work.

People who think white armor is an extremely impractical uniform choice.

People who think tiny forest creatures should never be underestimated.

People who think desert planets contain entirely too much sand.

People who believe rebel-catching instructions should be more specific than:

“SEARCH EVERYWHERE.”

People who believe trooper overtime should be approved.

People who believe galactic employee surveys should actually be anonymous.

People who believe casual Friday should involve something more casual than identical armor.

People who believe the troops deserve better.

People looking for a funny sci-fi shirt.

People looking for a space trooper shirt.

People looking for a sci-fi humor tee.

People looking for a geek gift.

People looking for a nerdy shirt.

People looking for a space lover gift.

People looking for a sci-fi fan gift.

People looking for a gamer gift.

People looking for a funny gift for Dad.

People looking for a nerdy husband gift.

People looking for a geeky boyfriend gift.

People looking for a convention shirt.

People looking for something funny to wear during a sci-fi movie marathon.

And anyone willing to stand up for the anonymous employees of enormous fictional galactic regimes and say:

SUPPORT THE TROOPS.

Because these guys have been through enough.

Desert planets.

Forest planets.

Rebels.

Robots.

Endless corridors.

Uncomfortable armor.

Questionable helmet visibility.

Terrible coffee.

Broken Wi-Fi.

Long shifts.

Mandatory inspections.

Management problems.

Unpaid overtime.

Exploding workplaces.

Replacement workplaces that look suspiciously similar to the previous exploding workplace.

And endless jokes about their aim.

Maybe it’s time somebody finally showed them a little appreciation.

Not necessarily their galactic regime.

Let’s not get carried away.

Just the troops.

Especially the poor guy who’s been guarding Corridor 7B since six this morning.

Nobody has told him what’s behind the door.

Nobody has relieved him for lunch.

And he’s pretty sure his helmet is on backward.

SUPPORT THE TROOPS.

SPACE TROOPERS: THREE.

FORMATION: SOLID.

ARMOR: WHITE.

HELMETS: FUTURISTIC.

VISIBILITY: QUESTIONABLE.

GALACTIC EMPLOYER: COMPLICATED.

AIM: PLEASE STOP ASKING.

Final Galactic Troop Support Status Report

TROOPS: SUPPORTED.

ARMORED SPACE TROOPERS: PRESENT.

FORMATION: COMPLETE.

ARMOR: POLISHED.

HELMETS: SECURED.

HELMET VISIBILITY: COULD BE BETTER.

BLASTERS: READY.

TARGETS: PRESENT.

TARGETS HIT: CLASSIFIED.

ACCURACY REPORT: ALSO CLASSIFIED.

ADDITIONAL TRAINING: RECOMMENDED.

BATTLE STATION: MASSIVE.

CORRIDORS: ENDLESS.

SIGNAGE: INADEQUATE.

TROOPERS LOST INSIDE OWN WORKPLACE: POSSIBLE.

BREAK ROOM: OPEN.

COFFEE MACHINE: BROKEN.

MORALE: DECLINING.

MYSTERY SPACE MILK: EXPIRED.

UNLABELED LUNCH: MISSING.

GALACTIC HR: OVERWHELMED.

MANAGEMENT: INTIMIDATING.

EMPLOYEE ANXIETY: UNDERSTANDABLE.

INSPECTION: COMPLETE.

DESERT PLANET: SANDY.

SAND INSIDE ARMOR: YES.

ROBOTS: STILL BEING SEARCHED FOR.

SPACEPORT: SUSPICIOUS.

REBELS: ACTIVE.

REBEL BASE: EVENTUALLY LOCATED.

SMALL FOREST CREATURES: SEVERELY UNDERESTIMATED.

FOREST PLANET: MORE DANGEROUS THAN EXPECTED.

HOVER BIKES: VERY FAST.

INSURANCE PREMIUMS: PROBABLY TERRIBLE.

VENTILATION SHAFT DESIGN: QUESTIONABLE.

ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT: DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

WORKING CONDITIONS: COULD IMPROVE.

UNIFORM COLOR OPTIONS: ONE.

CASUAL FRIDAY: MEANINGLESS.

OVERTIME: PROBABLY NOT APPROVED.

VACATION REQUEST: PENDING.

RETIREMENT PLAN: OPTIMISTIC.

EMPLOYEE SURVEY: DEFINITELY “ANONYMOUS.”

SCI-FI HUMOR: MAXIMUM.

NERD ENERGY: MAXIMUM.

CONVERSATION-STARTING POTENTIAL: HIGH.

AIM JOKES: INEVITABLE.

TROOP MORALE: IMPROVING.

CURRENT STATUS: SUPPORT THE TROOPS.

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.: 100% Cotton (fibre content may vary for different colors)

.: Light fabric (5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²))

.: Tear away label

.: Runs true to size